Sex Tapes
Heidi Montag Sex Tape Imminent?
Aug 25th
I think they lost something behind the couch.
I love a good sex tape as much as the next guy – especially when your mom is in it – the camera loves her. Rumors have swirled (like poo in porcelain) for months about a possible Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt sex tape – underwhelming the shit out of everyone who blatantly continued living their lives. *Uses Dateline’s Keith Morrison voice* But now…all that is changed. It seems Heidi. Had sex. With…another girl. Ooooooh. Ooooh.
Shock the monkey TMZ:
We’re told Heidi has agreed to listen to Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch when he arrives in Costa Rica to make an offer on the footage … some of which is said to contain girl-on-girl action with Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon.
We’re told Heidi wants Hirsch to provide her with the sales numbers on Kim Kardashian’s sex tape — which was also released through Vivid — because Heidi may be interested in working out a “back-end deal” if Steve can’t offer enough cash up front to satisfy Montag.
In case you’re wondering why I have that banner pic of the two girls (and twins!); at least one of those girls is Karissa Shannon. I can’t tell them apart. I’m not sure if they can. I do know this: judging by pic number 3, either Hef is a tiny pixie man or those are some big bitches. Watch out Spencer, the pretty one might think you’re an albino chimp and spear you for her village. In case this is your first day out of Mexican prison and you’ve yet to feel the hurricane of Heidi Montag media rain down upon your face like a fetid golden shower in a Thai massage parlor, you can always go here and see more Heidi Montag relatively nude pics.
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- Honestly, I can’t tell them apart
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- I think they lost something behind the couch.
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- Damn they some big bitches
Lindsay Lohan Fears Release of Sex Tape
Jan 14th
According to The Daily Mail Lindsay Lohan is freaking out about a 47 second long “sex tape” that is about to get leaked online. I do not know who took the sex out of sex tape but there it is. It is actually a miracle that LiLo went this long without having a sex tape leaked. It must be some sort of record.
Anyway, if there is a 47 second long tape, which I doubt there is, then I will throw it up on the NSFW section here. I personally would pawn my left nut just to get a decent ass shot of LiLo. Ok so I wouldn’t pawn my left nut cause then I wouldn’t have anything to bust later. But yea, an ass shot would be nice.
Image via
‘scuse me while I bang these chicks
Apr 29th
Jimi Hendrix has a sex tape. Which normally would be super creepy because he’s dead now (and more than likely so are the groupie whores who are in the movie), but this is Jimi fucking Hendrix – possibly the best guitar player that ever lived.
“This new movie shows that Jimi Hendrix could have been as great a porn star as he was a rock star. He could clearly play more than just his guitar,” said Vivid co-chairman Steven Hirsch. “It’s easy to see that he turned women on with his music and his passion.” (AVN)
I’m just hoping that it’s got some quality groupie whore fucking and it’s not just a movie of Jimi Hendrix asleep with his cock out while two hippie skanks lick each other’s hairy armpits. You’d be surprised how often porn DVD’s can disappoint. Go here for details.
Kristin Davis Doubles Her Pleasure
Mar 19th
When it comes to NSFW, Valkyrie has you covered, boys.
Kristin Davis was allegedly helping herself to a three way around 5 years ago. I seriously doubt that was the only time, because everyone knows, once you join in, you’ll do it again. I am a little disappointed that the 3cum-sum included another guy, not girl.
Wtf is up with that?
Also, Kristin needed a good waxing. Then again, her ex-boyfriend might have liked his hair pie with actual hair. Some guys like the Sasquatch-crotch.
In honor of the day, which shall from here on be known as ‘Enjoy Your Hairy Crotch With 2 Cocks Day’, here is the link (again) to all 13 of the photos that the ex-boyfriend’s friend has circulating around the net. Yes, that’s right, photos. No video. At least Paris video’d for us.
