Can you believe how perfect I am?

Salma Hayek blah blah TV show blah blah Ugly Betty blah blah. BOOBS! I personally have one of the nicest racks this side of the Mason-Dixon (it’s been proven in 9 states, fellas!) and even I can’t help but drool over Salma Hayek’s devastatingly perfect rack. The only thing better would be if her bra was even more ill-fitting and revealing. Actually, it would be better if I was in the elevator with her and we accidentally got stuck for a few hours. We got stuck because I might have promised the elevator repairman a trip “around the world” to write down the wrong building address. But I digress. Boobs!

Love, Emily!