Fatback Media » Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek is a Psychopath. A Very Sexy Psychopath

Tom O — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 11:44:30 +0000

Salma Hayek is a pretty hot chick and most of the time hot chicks have their shit together. You know, because they are hotter than everybody else. But that wasn’t the case last night at The Chateau Marmont hotel when she went to eat at the restaurant and the hostess refused to seat her.

Apparently Salma totally lost her shit and starting throwing a fit and screaming in Spanish. I am sure there were a lot of four letter words in there but I doubt that anyone in the restaurant understood what the hell she was saying because the Chateau Marmont is full of snobby white people. I could of offered her a seat on my cock but I wasn’t there so I couldn’t. Now I know what will help me get laid by Salama Hayek the next time I run into her at Hollywood. A reservation at a nice restaurant. Salma Hayek is so shallow.

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Links that make their point by yelling

Jessica Simpson is a model. Wait. What?- IDLYITW

Sandra Bullock is a pretty hot step MILF- Geno’s World

Celebrities attend DJ AM memorial- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Ashlee Simpson is good at creating boners- Drunken Stepfather

Yes! A Jon and Kate Plus 8 parody porno!- yeeeah

Chris Brown is going to beat the shit out of Oprah- IDLYITW

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Salma Hayek Is Rich Now

Tom O — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 19:51:26 +0000

Damn! This is a day to go down in history. No not because it is Presidents Day, but because this is probably the best gold digger story in the history of the United States. Salma Hayek has wed billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault in Paris on Valentine’s Day. How romantic. Only douche bags get married on Valentine’s Day and I am surprised more celebrities didn’t get on Saturday. I am sure more celebrities got married this Valentine’s Day but none of them are being reported upon because none of them have this big of a gold digger status.

It is very sad to say that Salma Hayek is officially off the market but this isn’t exactly a match made in heaven. Originally the two got engaged in 2007 and broke off the engagement in 2008. And now they are back together. Even if Salma does come back on to the market you can bet your sweet panties that she is never gonna settle for someone who has under half a bil in their bank account. Maybe this will loosen up the morals of Salma Hayek. Maybe she will become one of those yoga instructing free spirit type of people who all of a sudden become very appreciative of their beautiful body. That could lead to more nude scenes. This is asking for a lot but I just hope she makes her way back onto the market.

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Links that are middle class

LiLo needs to ditch SamRo already- IBBB

Katy Perry takes Paris Hilton’s sloppy seconds- Allie Is Wired

Amy Winehouse is admitted to the hospital- Celeb News Wire

Sienna Miller is a bitchy bitch- Holy Moly

Peaches Goldof is topless- Drunken Stepfather

Chris Brown is a liar- IDLYITW

Kate Moss is not really pregnant- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

SamRo’s twin is apparently a “real” girl- Geno’s World

Alec baldwin plays with his own Wii. it is not as dirty as it sounds. – popbytes

Lily Allen has cute panties- yeeeah

Megan Fox could do better- I Don’t Want Your Life

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Hot chick boxer can’t box because of breast implants- notorious news

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Salma Hayek Likes To Smoke Cigarettes

Tom O — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 20:31:23 +0000

Just when I thought starlets are fake, shallow, superficial and dumb I find out that Salma Hayek has a human side to her. She is addicted to cigarettes. I support this because I am a common smoker too. I think it makes you looks cool and sexy. Not to mention that sweet burn of nicotine entering your blood stream and making you feel oh so satisfied.

Some websites are referring to Salma as Salma “second hand smoke” Hayek because she is with her daughter and people are worried that the little baby is getting nasty cigarette smoke in her lungs. I say don’t worry. If the kid ends up getting hooked, she will have an excuse in the future. There will be no I wanted to look cool or I wanted to fit in. She will just say “My mother is trash and smoked a pack a day with me in her arms.” You see. You are already making the world better Salma.

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Links that smoke a pack a day

Katy Perry is in Mexico- yeeeah

Further proof that LiLo is bi-sexual and not a lesbian- Drunken Stepfather

Rupaul gets her own show- popbytes

Evangeline Lilly upskirt- The Bastardly

Kim Kardashian tries on stuff- I Don’t Want Your Life

Paris Hilton’s snow is fake just like her- notorious news

Jack Nicholson is old- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Danielle Fishel dated a homo- Geno’s World

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

This is a sex symbol? – Allie Is Wired

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Salma Hayek and her motherly knockers

fatback — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 12:55:52 +0000

I said goddamn, Salma! This is a very preggo Salma Hayek at some charitable function for some charitable cause that we donâ€™t give two flying charitable whacks about..except, we do care because we’re red-blooded Americans who appreciate a ridiculous plunging neckline showing off those radiant, voluptuous love nests. Iâ€™m pretty sure those 36QQs are the stuff dreams are made of. I even have a spot of drool on my chin as I type. A spot of drool? When did I become British? Oh well, cheerio…suckas!

On a related note, how much nutrition does an adult gain from breastfeeding? I bet Wikipedia knowsâ€¦

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Salma Hayek Undresses

fatback — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 17:44:27 +0000

Salma Hayek blah blah TV show blah blah Ugly Betty blah blah. BOOBS! I personally have one of the nicest racks this side of the Mason-Dixon (it’s been proven in 9 states, fellas!) and even I can’t help but drool over Salma Hayek’s devastatingly perfect rack. The only thing better would be if her bra was even more ill-fitting and revealing. Actually, it would be better if I was in the elevator with her and we accidentally got stuck for a few hours. We got stuck because I might have promised the elevator repairman a trip “around the world” to write down the wrong building address. But I digress. Boobs!

Love, Emily!