Rihanna
Rihanna Is Injured
Feb 10th
Rihanna won’t be doing any concert or television appearances any time soon. That is mostly because her pussy boyfriend Chris Brown beat the shit out of her leaving her with a bloody nose, a split lip and serious head contusions on both sides of her forehead. It is now being reported that Rihanna was not the one who made the call to 911. It was another person in the immediate area that heard Chris Brown and Rihanna screaming at each other.
Once the cops arrived Rihanna refused treatment but the police took some photos of Rihanna which haven’t leaked onto the internet yet, but give it time. The photos show “devastating proof of abuse.” I hope this douche bag, which is an understatement, Chris Brown gets the max in jail because of what he did. There were reports yesterday that he actually had a weapon but that was TMZ’s fault for fucking up their legal reading and it is not true. He did in fact use his fists to beat up his girlfriend. What a barbarian! Not only that, but he bit her like 3 times. A couple times on the arms and once on the fingers. Rihanna needs to hook up with a realman like me. I might not be able to satisfy her in bed, but I would never raise my hand to a woman. It is ok, I will keep a watch on this story and when Chris Brown goes to the clink I will laugh and point fingers at him on this website.
[ Image via ]
Links that know how to treat a lady well
The City recap- IBBB
Jessica Simpson thinks weaing short shorts will make her look thin again- Drunken Stepfather
Paris Hilton gives herpees to everyone she meets- Allie Is Wired
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Madonna is old and not sexy in any way- IDLYITW
Al Roker masturbates- Geno’s World
Micahel Phelps stoner buddies are headed to the clink. But not Phelps. – d-listed
Sharon Stone will never win an Oscar- Celeb News Wire
Kate Beckinsale was the best dressed at the Grammys- I Don’t Want Your Life
Sienna Miller is pretty- Holy Moly
Christina Milian is curvy- yeeeah
Chris Brown doesn’t have milk- notorious news
Rihanna+Chris Brown=Cutest Couple Ever!
Feb 28th
So it’s been a few days since the news broke that Rihanna was indeed dating 18 year old Chris Brown. They’d been denying this for a few months, but now we find out that he was with her on her trip back to her hometown in Barbados after she won a Grammy in early February, then went to Jamaica last week where the fuzzy paparazzi pic above was snapped. Ahhhhh, they are so cute together! I love them individually, and as a couple they’re so adorable! Rihanna and Chris strike me as decently wholesome young stars who are very unlikely to wind up snorting coke or habitually getting DUIs. In the words of my mom (if she knew who they were), “They’re good kids!” Though, Rihanna sure is adept at taking stunning, hot pics . . .
K-Fed is C-list at Best
Jun 28th
Hey everybody, long time no see. Shooter here has been busy learning that coffee is for closers only (and that 2nd place is a set of steak knives). Since we last were able to waste 10 minutes out of the workday together, quite a bit has gone down. Between Paris getting sprung from the clink and LiLo deciding that it takes more than a month to kick your coke habit, I know you guys have missed me. I was going to start out with some comments on Chris Benoit, but I figured that might be a little hypocritical–after all, no one enjoys a good grocery bag/belt-noose combo around the neck like yours truly. So until a non-AA related story pops up, here’s a true story for you to enjoy:
A couple of Shooter’s pals were in Miami Beach this past weekend for a Bachelor Party. They were holed up in a bungalow at the Delano (Shooter’s boys don’t roll lightly) when, on the way to their pleasure palace, they spotted our old friend K-Fed. Apparently Kevin (that’s what he likes to be called now that he’s a serious actor for reals) didn’t appreciate being called out as a “D-list actor, everyone!” in front of the papparazzi, and he tried to regulate up in the bungalow. This story would have had a sad ending if Kevin had been able to retaliate, but the prolific baby daddy wasn’t allowed into the bungalow area.
I don’t bring this up to glorify my boys’ spending habits–while solid, they’re not Trump-level just yet. But I think the moral of the story is this: When you’re 2 forearm tattoos deep into an ill-conceived body art campaign, when your first baby momma has a tummy tuck and the second one looks like a goddamn yeti, and when you start getting denied access to hotels where any jerk with $300 and a towel around his waist can command the attention of any chick in the place, it’s time for you to realize that the clock of your 15 minutes of fame is reading 15:30.
Since Britney has jumped the shark, Paris says she’s found God (okay……..), and LiLo is trying to clean herself up, I think that this year’s crop of celebs is just entering their own. Move aside, old news. The new kids are here to stay. And with that, I give you these completely unrelated pics of the oh so sexy Rhianna. May her nipples breathe freely and her underwear be scarce.
