Fatback Media

If you were a Pete Doherty fan before, well now there’s more of this never-bathing, slimy Brit C-lister to love. Yesterday Pete emerged from his one-month stint in rehab looking like one-and-a-half of his former self. And I can only imagine what fat Pete Doherty smells like. Now there are even more nooks and crannies on his body that won’t get washed. Yum.

Seriously though, how can you gain this much weight in one month from getting off smack? Don’t you spend two weeks throwing up from detox? That would leave only two weeks to gain what looks to be 20-25lbs. Puzzling. Maybe he ate Kate Moss in revenge for her dating her new man. But if she isn’t in his stomach and is alive and well, then silly her didn’t know how much she’d be missing by not being with Pete post-rehab. She could have had this prize had she not dumped him. Tragic.

Check out pre-rehab Pete. I could not find one picture of him without a fag in his mouth. Shame on you!

These are some of the most boring photos EVER of Lindsay Lohan celebrating her 21st birthday by the beach. I think I’m starting a petition to bring back the fire crotch. Sobriety is for quitters.

Not only was Lindsay’s beachfront birthday blowout supervised by her mother (who brought along her little brother for extra support), but we’re hearing that the party’s entertainment was overseen by a team of Promises folks – according to our source, the strongest stuff at the party was lemonade and soda! (source)

Dude, when your rehab coach supervises your 21st, you know you have a problem. I’m sure they figured out a way to get some contraband in there. Scope with a vanilla extract chaser anyone? Hardcore, bitches. Sucks to be Lindsay Lohan. I spent my 21st birthday in proper southern fashion, pounding Jager bombs and dancing topless on a table with a dude in a trucker hat and a spider monkey. That is, of course, until we were asked to leave due to ‘inappropriate behavior’. Fucking Waffle House. Anyway. Is it just me or is LiLo’s mother a total MILF? Wait, I meant really creepy looking bitch.

Elevenety billion more boring pics of Lindsay Lohan at her boring drug free party here.