Reality Shows
Whitney Port Nip Slip
May 19th
Whitney Port, the superfamous girl fromt that awesomely famous show The Hills which is about truly amazing people showed her tit at the Ivy (or somewhere) while eating lunch. I just put The Hills at the top of my DVR list (sorry One Tree Hill!!). Not really, dumbass. So don’t email me telling what LC did this week because I don’t fucking care. Unless she’s nude. Then I care like a Care Bear. Wanna see my rainbow?
Click here to see all the Whitney Port Boobies you can handle…
Rock of Love II’s Golden Girls Are Outta There
Feb 24th
Some huge award show took place last night. Some A-listers attended, presented, and won some awards. Can you tell that I don’t give a flying flip about the Academy Awards? Yeah, I preferred to spend my night watching classy wannabe actresses compete for the attention of an 80′s rocker sporting a weave that would make Tyra jealous. Ah, yes, Rock of Love II, baby!
On last night’s episode, the two gorgeous creatures you see in the picture above were sent home. Finally. You know that no one over 25 is going to win this competition. In Bret’s eyes, that’s just too damn old. However, I think that Mama Catherine and Road-Kill Face Peyton were kept around so long for nostalgic reasons . . . like back in the 80′s Bret had always wondered what his 21 year-old groupies would grow up to look like, and Peyton and Catherine were solid representations of this. And, so as the show moves into its next episode, we lose the two women who look like they actually did attend Poison concerts back in the day, and we also lose their 80′s hair which I marveled at every week. I believe the latter is the saddest part.
Now, for those of you who do care about that awards show last night, check out some of the dresses from the red carpet . . .
“Celebrity Rehab” Coming to VH1 in January
Nov 27th
In plotting out this post (uh, yeah, these require massive amounts of gray matter!), I wasn’t sure which has-been “celebrity” to use for a photo to represent the upcoming VH1 show “Celebrity Rehab.” I mean when you’re choosing amongst the singer from a late 90′s one-hit wonder band, a Baldwin brother, and the same-old-same-old VH1 gals Chyna and Brigette Nielsen . . . well, you have slim pickings as far as who is a “celebrity.” So I decided to go with a mug shot, specifically that of Jessica Sierra, reported cast member on the up-and-coming “Celebrity Rehab.” If you don’t know who she is, that’s okay, you shouldn’t–she was in the Top Twelve of some season of “American Idol.” Whatever.
Anyway, VH1 has just announced that “Celebrity Rehab” will air in January. Jessica Sierra along with Daniel Baldwin, Mary Carey, Brigitte Nielsen, Jeff Conway, Chyna, and the singer from the band Crazytown are reportedly in the cast, but VH1 has not officially confirmed this winning bunch.
The reality show will partner with “Dr. Drew” Pinksy who will counsel the patients during their rehab stint. Dr. Drew offers:
“The road to sobriety is not easy and rehabilitation and the recovery process are not to be taken lightly . . . My goal is to lift the veil and help my patients, as well as viewers, understand that if not taken seriously, addiction is a disease that will kill you.â€
Yeah, kill you but first make you look like the walking dead if the “celebs” from the cast in the pics below are any indication . . .
Welcome to the Reality Freakshow
Oct 4th
With an entire award show dedicated to the complete freaks who we enjoy on reality TV, and award categories such as “Favorite Fight,” “Favorite Altered-State,” and “Favorite Potty Mouth,” you can bet your sweet ass that I will be watching the Fox Reality Channel’s “2007 Really Awards†show that will air on Saturday, October 13th. I mean where else can I see Brooke Hogan and that guy from Beauty and the Geek together on one stage looking very much like a carnie sideshow act? Also when you have Janice Dickenson, Sanjaya, and friggin’ Elvira together, and it’s not the beginning of a joke but it’s reality . . . hey this is special.
The event was taped earlier this week, and below Miss Lennox presents to you the gift of a menagerie of some of the walking disasters who took part in the event.
