Fatback Media

If I had to guess, I’d say that skeletal Jenna Jameson was caught here in this photo trying to bang the crazy-as-shit out of her head. Or, maybe she’s gone to her happy place full of otherwise verboten calories. Whatever the case, I’m damn disappointed. Anorexia should be reserved for worthless starlets, not porn stars. I could care less if Nicole Richie throws up so much that she eventually loses the boobs I was never interested in anyway. But as far as I’m concerned the star of Cum One Cum All and Briana Loves Jenna should always look like a goddamn blow-up doll and not Skeletor.

I am quite disappointed.

R&B star and Kim Kardashian sex tape co-star (?) Ray J has dreams of becoming Mayor of Carson California, not a huge stretch considering Ahnold is the guvnah and Sonny Bono was a member of Congress. Except, Ray J is a naughty, naughty boy and his sex tape controversy may be keeping him out of office.

The singer/actor has huge political ambitions and his leaked sex tape, in which he cavorted with socialite Kim Kardashian, wrecked his bid to become Carson’s mayor this year (07) - but he isn’t giving up. He tells Sister 2 Sister magazine, “I might do it at the next election and let all of this controversy die down and then hit them harder.”

“I want people to look at other things besides rapping and singing… Young people 18 and older don’t vote. When I get people to start voting and start uplifting themselves in the political side of life… I’m making a change in the world. “I’m going to keep going. I’m going for president of the United States of America.” (source)

Ahh hahaha, ‘hit them harder’. That’s what she said. Seriously though, I’m all for electing porn stars to public offices. John Holmes can be the Thruster of the House. Linda Lovelace can play Bush. And Elisha Cuthbert can be the Fist Lady. (Okay I know she isn’t a porn star, but she played one once and that’s basically the same thing.) Sessions of Congress would really just be consecutive days of orgies and the State of the Union addresses would be broadcasts of classic hits like Ally McFeal, Nightmare on Dyke Street and Dial A for Anal. Holy shit, the ideas are rolling! Where’s my pen??

Oh. Umm. We at FB&C acknowledge free love and its consequences so before you tag it, bag it. No glove, no love. And so on. Holla!

Katie Holmes is pissed. New York Post reports that a young virgin has changed her name to Katee Holmes and will be starting a porn career, in which she will lose her virginity in her first film. Get it? Katie, Katee? Duh.

“It’s a really cheap shot,” a rep for the actress, who’s married to Tom Cruise, told Page Six. But Shy Love, an adult film vet who manages the 5-foot-9, 122-pound Katee - a small-town girl from Illinois - insisted: “Katee is using the name as a tribute to Katie, who has always portrayed an innocence in everything she’s done, beginning with ‘Dawson’s Creek.’ ”

“I know it’s pretty extreme to lose my virginity on camera, but I like the fulfillment and excitement I get from watching porn, so I figured [a movie] was the best place for me to lose it,” the not-that-innocent Katee said. “How many people wished they could relive their first experience, if not to remember it but to learn from it, right?” (source)

Man, what a whore. But guys love whores. I think the’re taken aside at an early age and shown cheap porn mags like Cheri, or Oui, forever conditioning them to hit on the cheapest, sluttiest girl in the bar. That being said, it’s like Katee stole the idea right out of my goddamned head. No doubt you will be lined up to see this nubile, young thing lose her love flower, wishing you were the one giving her the bulging love stick. What the fuck did I just say? Anyway, instead, you are crying, realizing you just lost your virginity to the 19 year-old hag babysitter who punched you in the face as she called you the wrong name. Then she made you get her McDonalds. Sucked to be you. Loser. More Katee. I mean Katie. I mean Kate.

Sci-Fi star Trisha Helfer sets aside the “Six-y” Cylon world to pose for Playboy. See what I did there? Who says girls can’t love sci-fi?

Tricia Helfer plays an evil machine on “Battlestar Galactica,” but the sexy Cylon may cause her fans to short-circuit when they see the latest edition of Playboy.

“I hope people like them,” Helfer told The Post of her 10-page nude pictorial shot by famed shutterbug Sante D’Orazio. “I know I do.” (source)

I’m not surprised. It’s always the unsuspecting ones, like the Sci-Fi chick, or the Catholic school English teacher, the burger joint French fry queen…your mom. Trekkie convention is just a glorified name for orgy and Deep Space Nine sounds like low-budget porn on Cinemax After Dark (PPV!). And the Twelve Colonies of Kobol are simply nudist, self-indulgent, hedonistic havens. Regardless, Trisha’s hot and I would park my Enterprise in her Final Frontier any day. Let’s just say I’ll take a ‘ NumberSix’ with ‘7 of 9′ any day. I don’t know, whatever, just go with it. Nerd. Get your game hand ready, here’s more science fictionly cyborg semi-nakedness. By the way, these photos are not from Playboy.

UPDATE: PLAYBOY IMAGES REMOVED BY REQUEST

And by request, I mean Tatyana from Playboy Inc complained to my hosting company, Godaddy, instead of contacting me and they shut my site down. I moved to a new server, but the images from this post only exist in my mind. And in Tatyana’s mind. Because she’s dirty. If you have any royalty free Tricia Helfer’s let me know.

TMZ reports naughty girl Jenna Jameson has filed for separation from husband Jay Grdina, also a porn star. The couple was married for over three years.

TMZ obtained the legal papers, filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court. Jameson, whose legal last name is Massoli, has been estranged from husband Jay Grdina. Grdina, also a porn star, performs under the name Justin Sterling.

The couple has no children, however, we’re told the divorce could get nasty. Sources tell TMZ the couple has no prenup, but Jameson is rolling in dough after selling her lucrative business to Playboy. Jameson is repped by mega-celebrity lawyer Neal Hersh. (source)

Gr-whata..? Anyhoo. Jenna’s currently rebounding with an Ultimate Fighting champion so get your game face on if you think you have a shot. That said…Two people who built a relationship amidst licentious orgies and taboo indulgences and getting the perfect money shot didn’t make it as eternal soulmates? Stunned. I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but landing a porn star prolly doesn’t involve flowers and romantic beach walks. Somehow I imagine a tightrope, officer uniforms, a pizza box, foot long rails of coke and a monkey in a conductor’s hat (It’s a monkey! In a train hat!) are not quite the elements for creating a lasting romance. Now if you’ll excuse me; I need to make a phone call. Suddenly I feel wildly qualified. And now. Click here for the Nudity. (yeah these are old, but she’s not getting any less naked, perv.)