Fatback Media

Heidi Montag, whose only reasons for being famous are having a huge rack and being born in a nice neighborhood, recently revealed that she is voting for John McCain in the upcoming 2008 Presidential election. Hordes of people went about their business not caring, as usual.

“I’m voting for John McCain,” she tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

“I’m a Republican and McCain has a lot of experience,” she explains. (Us)

I love it when famous people  - who have no idea how the world works because they are spoon fed the Hollywood version of reality - try to have an opinion. We don’t care. I fucking promise. Shut up and keep performing monkey. Also, my grandfather (who is a life long Republican and veteran) said he rather see a gay chinaman as president than John McCain because the gooks blowed his mind in the 70’s when he was a POW.  Did I mention my grandfather is really fucking old and racist? More of Heidi’s awesome boobs.

R&B star and Kim Kardashian sex tape co-star (?) Ray J has dreams of becoming Mayor of Carson California, not a huge stretch considering Ahnold is the guvnah and Sonny Bono was a member of Congress. Except, Ray J is a naughty, naughty boy and his sex tape controversy may be keeping him out of office.

The singer/actor has huge political ambitions and his leaked sex tape, in which he cavorted with socialite Kim Kardashian, wrecked his bid to become Carson’s mayor this year (07) - but he isn’t giving up. He tells Sister 2 Sister magazine, “I might do it at the next election and let all of this controversy die down and then hit them harder.”

“I want people to look at other things besides rapping and singing… Young people 18 and older don’t vote. When I get people to start voting and start uplifting themselves in the political side of life… I’m making a change in the world. “I’m going to keep going. I’m going for president of the United States of America.” (source)

Ahh hahaha, ‘hit them harder’. That’s what she said. Seriously though, I’m all for electing porn stars to public offices. John Holmes can be the Thruster of the House. Linda Lovelace can play Bush. And Elisha Cuthbert can be the Fist Lady. (Okay I know she isn’t a porn star, but she played one once and that’s basically the same thing.) Sessions of Congress would really just be consecutive days of orgies and the State of the Union addresses would be broadcasts of classic hits like Ally McFeal, Nightmare on Dyke Street and Dial A for Anal. Holy shit, the ideas are rolling! Where’s my pen??

Oh. Umm. We at FB&C acknowledge free love and its consequences so before you tag it, bag it. No glove, no love. And so on. Holla!