Plastic Surgery

Time to get real(ity).

Pam Andserson gets REAL

Looks like Pamela Anderson is getting her own reality show. There’s nothing more real than former Playboy nude model with 38WTF tits, if you ask me. Reality is about to kick fake tv in the face and grope his little sister while he cries, baby. And now links so REAL you can taste it in the back of your throat like a peppercorn from last night’s dinner. BAM!

MILF.

Soleil Moon Frye has another baby

MILF.

Soleil Moon Frye, (tv’s Punky Brewster!) just had a baby. In other news…well there is no other news. She and I have been estranged ever since she committed the cardinal sin: breast reduction. WHY GOD? WHY?

Former Punky Brewster star Soleil Moon Frye and her husband, Jason Goldberg, have welcomed their second child, a girl, the actress’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg was born Monday in Los Angeles and weighed 8 lbs., 6 oz. The couple also have a 2-year-old daughter, Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg. (PEOPLE)

Did they use a baby book for these, or go into a teepee on a vision quest with 2 oz of  peyote and an issue of Us Weekly? I guess we should have expected some off the wall names from someone whose name means Sun, Moon and a method of cooking involving hot oil immersion, but this just seems like cruelty. If you don’t want your daughter to be the feature act in an all nude BYOB strip club bar by the time she’s 17, then don’t give her a stage name the day she’s born. Plus if my wife tried to name my kid after a rock star I would get a paternity test immediately. Whore.

I was on TV!Superstar! Peyote rulez.Slinky black dress, ironic shades.

Ashlee in 2005

Ashlee Simpson and Her Not-So-New Nose. Snore . . .

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You know what’s super annoying? Celebs who have plastic surgery and won’t admit it til nearly two years later. Ashlee Simpson’s stupid “I don’t know, did I or didn’t I?” refusals to admit to fixing her nose (and Lord knows what else) is as ridiculous as Michael Jackson saying a skin condition turned his skin white. It’s like when you have a huge nose your whole life and all of a sudden it looks waaaaaaay different, JUST COME OUT AND ADMIT THE NOSE JOB WHEN YOU’RE ASKED ABOUT IT! Did Ashlee really think the public was so stupid that we all thought her nose just morphed on its own?!?! Anyway, in this week’s issue of US Weekly, Ashlee finally admits to surgery way after the fact, and at this point no one cares anymore.

Take a look at Ashlee pre nose-job from 2002-2005 . . .
Ashlee in 2000.  Looking Prego.Ashlee in 2002.  Love the Yellow Tooth!Ashlee in 2004.  So. Not. Punk.Ashlee in 2005

“Celebrity Rehab” Coming to VH1 in January

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In plotting out this post (uh, yeah, these require massive amounts of gray matter!), I wasn’t sure which has-been “celebrity” to use for a photo to represent the upcoming VH1 show “Celebrity Rehab.” I mean when you’re choosing amongst the singer from a late 90′s one-hit wonder band, a Baldwin brother, and the same-old-same-old VH1 gals Chyna and Brigette Nielsen . . . well, you have slim pickings as far as who is a “celebrity.” So I decided to go with a mug shot, specifically that of Jessica Sierra, reported cast member on the up-and-coming “Celebrity Rehab.” If you don’t know who she is, that’s okay, you shouldn’t–she was in the Top Twelve of some season of “American Idol.” Whatever.

Anyway, VH1 has just announced that “Celebrity Rehab” will air in January. Jessica Sierra along with Daniel Baldwin, Mary Carey, Brigitte Nielsen, Jeff Conway, Chyna, and the singer from the band Crazytown are reportedly in the cast, but VH1 has not officially confirmed this winning bunch.

The reality show will partner with “Dr. Drew” Pinksy who will counsel the patients during their rehab stint. Dr. Drew offers:

“The road to sobriety is not easy and rehabilitation and the recovery process are not to be taken lightly . . . My goal is to lift the veil and help my patients, as well as viewers, understand that if not taken seriously, addiction is a disease that will kill you.”

Yeah, kill you but first make you look like the walking dead if the “celebs” from the cast in the pics below are any indication . . .

Her Boobs and ChynaIf It’s a VH1 Show, Brigitte Nielsen Will Be In It!Porn Star Mary Carey