Photos
I was Born Country. CMA’s Roundup
Nov 7th
Nothing like a steel guitar to send me to my roots and warm my soul. And seeing as how I’m committed to highlighting Southern sexy gossip, here’s some quick CMA Award Red Carpet shots, y’all.
The Good
Gretchen Wilson is simple but damn hot. Redneck women unite!
The Bad
Is it feathers? Is it hair? It’s Laura Birna and it’s wrong.
The Ugly
Bombshell? Kind of a misnomer, huh? Is that a combover? I am so lost.
The Smokin Hot
Carrie Underwood could be dressed in a laundry basket with silly string in her hair and she’d still be the most adorable thing this side of Canada. Actually, that’d probably make her even cuter.
The Owned
Here’s Faith Hill, ever the gracious country lady, taking the news that she just lost out to an American Idol contestant.
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Shanna Moakler is Crazy Hot
Nov 7th
Emily here. I’ve been MIA, I know. Fucking cop cuffed me to the bed then forgot to leave the key! Who does that? Shanna Moakler is a crazy woman with too much time. She celebrated her divorce from Travis Barker by throwing a party in Vegas and creating a creepy cake as the highlight. Apparently, Vegas is the land of merriment for any occasion.
Funny thing. I, too, baked a cake when the ‘state’ ruled I did not have to pay the fines for possession of killer good looks. Zing! It was clever in my mind, at least. I had no idea who Shanna Moakler was until recently, but she quickly soared to the top of my “shouldn’t be in public for fear of homicide†list. She’s fucking scary, like she’ll burn cigarettes into your back while making love on the kitchen floor, then splash you with a glass of vodka as she calls you a ‘perv’ and walks out the door, which makes her all the more attractive, which, incidentally, is the image I’m building so in summation: she’s my role model. Here’s some photos of Shanna from various places. That last one is a preview of the new stuff shot she just did. Dirty slave.
Lindsay Lohan and Keanu Reeves?
Oct 2nd
Hey y’all, Emily here again. Check out these photos of Lindsay Lohan leaving a bar at the same time as Keanu Reeves. Coincidence? Or Whore?
I’ve been told shacking up with every guy in Hollywood is the first step to a visit at the “free†clinic, but I’ve resolved to adopt Lindsay’s approach to men and break-ups. Normally when my guy leaves me for the recently paroled cousin of his first wife, I cook a pot-roast, light candles, turn on something sentimental like Miles or Reverend Al, and drink entirely too much Franzia (its a box! of wine!), all the while stewing in the bane and blight that is the potage of my love life and then I take a naked swim in the nearest neighbor’s pool in hopes I die of a cramp before the pills kick in. But under Lindsay’s tutelage, I’ll just dance in cages at trendy clubs and make out with every B-list celebrity and heir this side of Europe (and even the cute ones in Europe). Excellent!
Also, in case your not in the fucking solar system, these images are from the hyper-litigious X17 ONLINE! Fucking watermark looks like a third degree burn. Subtle.
American Idol Twins in Maxim
Feb 23rd
Becky O’Donohue one of the the twins shown above was on American Idol this season in the top 24. She and her twin sister (and twins!) did a photoshoot for Maxim a while back so now this is suddenly newsworthy. I never watch American Idol because I am too busy spending my time in Eastern Europe infiltrating Embassy parties in a Tuxedo and sleeping with the lady friends of foreign dignitaries for classified information. But here are some of the pics from that Maxim layout for you true Idol fans. Thanks to GMMR for the lead on this.
