Fatback Media

 

Smokin’ hot and tabloid sizzling British couple David and Victoria Beckham are to appear on the August issue of W magazine. Here’s a quote from the article:

“When the soccer star married the pop singer, it was a match made in British tabloid heaven. Now David and Victoria Beckham are determined to become the new American idols.”

Drag. Lame. Bore. I am so unbelievably disappointed in these photos. I didn’t get a nip slip or a bare ass or some interspecies erotica or anything. Just some fucked up tattoos. Turns out W doesn’t stand for whore. (Who knew?) I feel so…teased. Now I know how all those boys (and girls) felt in high school. Instead, I got Posh in a maxi pad and “Becks” (stupid fucking name, by the way) looking as though he’s auditioning for male porn. Either that or a Calvin Klein ad, which is basically the same thing. Who the fuck chose their wardrobe? Conclusion: two unimpressed thumbs down. Leave the magazine on the shelves and wait for one of their sex tapes to hit YouTube. Because of some -ahem- legal issues we aren’t posting all of the pics here. You can see all the fish n’ chips in hi res here and here.

It rhymes! I don’t even know who Emily Scott is, but what I do know is that she’s pasting her sweet ass on every gentleman’s magazine in town, and to that I give a roaring “hell yeah”. And that’s not sexist, because I’m a girl. And keeping true to form, this is sinfully hot Emily doing it yet again for the July issue of FHM UK (pics source). Would you expect any less though? With a name like Emily, she’s sure to be charming and devilishly clever. So much so I bet you don’t realize your wallet’s missing even now, do you? Sucka! Go buy the magazine if you want to see more or if you’d like to see  Emily Scott naked check the archives.

This is the ridiculously hot Megan Fox at a recent Transformers press conference. Her Egyptian potato sack (?) dress is revealing one of her several tattoos. I’m not one to judge, but it’s well known tattoos are for whores. They don’t call it a ho’ stamp for nothing. True story. Here’s what she said in FHM about her ink.

Fox has said of her tattoos: “I have five. Anytime I have a feeling about anything, I get tattooed. I have a poem I wrote on my ribcage and a symbol for strength on my neck, and my boyfriend Brian’s name tattooed next to my pie.”

That one one her back there is a version of a quote from King Lear (for you literary muthafuckas), but its kinda creepy because that’s what King Lear said to his daughter in the touching scene where they are led off to prison. So is this ironic? Or literal? Is she the tragic gilded butterfly for whom a fatherly figure (Daddy? David Austin Greene? Hollywood?) must suffer as he sees her caged, never to fly, and ultimately fall too soon for her years? Or was this scrawled in eyeliner pencil on the bathroom stall just above the toilet seat when she chopped up that last coke rail?

‘How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child.’