Pete Wentz is the center of attention these days. Or at least it seems that way since Ashlee is almost nowhere to be found.  When you search Ashlee Simpson on paparazzi websites all you get is pictures of Pete Wentz getting his hair colored,getting tattoos and buying skinny jeans. And don’t forget about the guyliner. Yea the guyliner. It seems that Ashlee has been stuck in the house for weeks while Pete goes out and about. It is not like he is out bringing home the bacon either. His band The Fall Out Boyshaven’t released a cd in some time.

The only person from the Simpson camp that had anything to say isn’t even in the united states. Bitch is in Australia. She said, ” This is not true. Everything is fine in their world.” Well you heard it. The chick in Australia says things are all good in Hollywood. I don’t see what the big deal is. I go out and party on a regular basis and leave my wife home to cook and clean. We are really happy. Except when she doesn’t have my cigars and slippers ready when I get home. Then all hell breaks loose. Why can’t women get it through their head that when they don’t make their husbands happy they get the hand. It’s easy, no slippers=the hand.No cigars=the hand. No sports section=the hand. I should really write a How to keep your man happy handbook. It is a lot less painful.

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Links that can cook a mean chicken dinner

Rihanna got some gun tattoos- IDLYITW

Audrina Patridge is in Australia- IBBB

David Beckham is playing football, properly pronounced “soccer” – yeeeah

Madonna is adopting another baby- Holy Moly

Britney Spears is moving to New Jersey…for now- Allie Is Wired

Anna Faris has bigger boobs in Arena- Drunken Stepfather

J-Love in Mexico part 2- IDLYITW

Sean Penn and Natalie Portman take themselves WAY to seriously- Celeb News Wire

Zac Efron Doesn’t fuck Vanessa Anne Hudgens. Vanessa Anne Hudgens fucks Zac efron.- I Don’t Want Your Life

Some fugly chick from CSI is divorcing her husband- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Who doesn’t belong with the others? – Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Where The Wild Things Are trailer- popbytes

Lindsay lohan is a giant failure!- notorious news

Halle Berry gives Jay Leno a smell test- Geno’s World

It lookmpson,s like the EW is just as desperate as Ashlee Simpson. Since their ratings are basically in the toilet they are reinstating Melrose Place. Seeing as that show hasn’t been around for almost 10 years and the most famous person on it was Heather Locklier, I doubt this will take of. To try to drum up publicity they will be casting Ashlee Simpson as one of the main characters. She will be playing a girl named Violet which according to Ew.com is a naive girl but in reality she is a sex kitten. Hot.

Now that she is on the cast, people are speculating on whether or not Pete Wentz will have a cameo. I never thought I would see the day that someone was a bigger attention whore than Ashlee Simpson but rumors are already circulating about when Pete Wentz will make a cameo. I am guessing week two. It is also pretty obvious that Pete likes the camera more than Ashlee when you search Ashlee Simpson in the Splash photos archive and the first 3 pages are pictures of Pete Wentz. My predictions? A lot of hot bikini pictures of Simpson on the show and maybe even a sexy lingerie seduction with another male co star. I can dream can’t I?

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I have to hand it to Pete Wentz. I figured that he was just another douche bag that liked to keep his sex life private. Then he goes on Howard Stern and talks about how Ashlee Simpson likes to take it up the ass! What a guy. This is almost as cool as the pics of Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens shopping in a porn shop. Now Wentz is talking about how he tried Ashlee Simpson’s breast milk. Who wouldn’t?

He describes the taste as “soury” and “weird.” OK so maybe Pete doesn’t like Ashlee’s breast milk. But I still might. Let be get ahold of those titties and I will give you my culinary opinion. My pallet is rather refined. Though maybe not so much for breast milk, but if it is coming out of Ashlee Simpson’s body, it has to taste good. In the upcoming weeks Ashlee will describe how Pete Wentz’s semen tastes and Jessica Simpson will tell how good it feels to be a virgin.

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Christmas Eve links

The Hills season finale- IBBB

Amy Winehouse dancing topless- Drunken Stepfather

Lindsay Lohan has a new sister- Allie Is Wired

Jodie Marsh. I can’t get enough of her- d-listed

Amy Winehouse, not dancing topless- The Bastardly

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Zac Efron is scared of the paparazzi- Geno’s World

The grossest Christmas pic you will see all year- I Don’t Want Your Life

Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin hate each other. How funny, I hate them too! -yeeeah

It is customary that when a hot Hollywood couple has a baby they whore the kid out to as many media magazines as possible. In this case it is Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s kid and so far there are no taker. No one wants to see their little Mowgli. Bad name right? So far Ashlee has contacted “every” news outlet and none of them want to give the couple money for the first exclusive shots of their new baby. which leads me to one conclusion, the baby is butt ugly.

It is being said by Page Six that the magazine covers that feature Simpson, Wentz or Simpson and Wentz tend not to sell well. Why would that be? Ashlee is very attractive and Pete Wentz has a lot of killer tattoos. I guess you don’t see them featured in tabloid mags mainly because Ashlee is famous for being famous. Her music career is in the toilet and her videos are awful that may only be contended with the likes of Heidi Montag. Pete has a successful band but he doesn’t have any “look at me” quality to him. It kind of makes you wonder why Ashlee is famous at all. I feel sorry for the poor folks, so if some pictures surface of Mowgli I will post them here. He can’t be any uglier than his name.

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OK. So she doesn’t go out clubbing every night and the paparazzi don’t snap exclusive pictures of Ashlee Simpson passing out drunk in SUV’s but Ashlee Simpson is still interesting. Right? Apparently, with Ashlee eating lemons and “bouncing off the walls” in an attempt to induce labor, it finally worked. Yesterday Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz welcomed their first baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz to the world.

I am sure when the baby first arrived Ashlee was exhausted from labor and Pete had guyliner running down his face because of the tears. By the way, what the fuck is up with the weird name? I understand a name like Bronx, this is an attempt to make the baby sound more like an Angelina Jolie baby. Apparently people like Ashlee and Pete had normal names in grade school so they have no idea what it is like to be made fun of for having a weird name. Bronx Mowgli Wentz. B.M.W. What snobs.

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According to Us and Ok!, Ashlee Simpson is pregnant. According to Pete Wentz, the alleged baby daddy, Ashlee Simpson is not pregnant. Pregnancy is like a train; once it’s left the station there’s no turning back. Unless you decide that the train just doesn’t fit into your lifestyle and you crash the shit out of the train and put it in the dumpster outback with a bunch of other unwanted trains and hope that one day you’ll take the train again when the time is right, but for now career and travel are much too important. I am the king of metaphor.

From Us :

Ashlee Simpson is pregnant, a source confirmed to Usmagazine.com.The singer, 23, is expecting her first child with fiancé Pete Wentz, 28.Simpson and the Fall Out Boy bassist announced their engagement Wednesday.”We are thrilled to confirm their engagement and congratulate this happy couple,” a spokesperson for the couple told Us. “Beyond that there is nothing to say.”

MTV says, fuck that noize, beeotch:

In an e-mail to MTV News, Wentz denied reports that surfaced Monday (April 14) on the Web sites of OK! magazine and Us Weekly that he and Simpson, 23, are expecting their first child.

“There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood,” he wrote. “This is all news to me. I can’t wait for the story about how I’m really in a gay relationship and this is all just a cover. … I mean really, this is crazy. … I mean we’re engaged, that’s true, and happy about it.”

So if I’m reading this right, Pete Wentz is trying to get out of responsibility for a child he fathered by being gay. Well played, Pete. Well played. Down south we hand;e that situation differently. You either move to the next county or give the girl a Scarlett O’Hara. More Ashlee when she was hot. Fiddledeedee.

OMG. I just heard that Fall Out Boy bassist (and Ashless Simpson’s BF) tried to kill himself. OMG. NO! Except not.

Pete Wentz has revealed that he once was so “completely lost and out of control” he tried to take his own life.

Wentz, 28, says he had seen several doctors who gave him prescription drugs but things worsened around the time his band had finished recording their major label record a few years ago.

“I got in my car. I remember I was listening to Jeff Buckley doing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” and sat there and took a bunch of [anxiety drug] Ativan in a Best Buy parking lot,” Wentz says in a video for MTV’s college channel MTVU.

“And I called up my manager because I was, at that point, completely out of my head with Ativan. And I was talking to him and I was slurring my words, so he called my mom and my mom called me and she came and got me and we went to the hospital.” (Us Magazine)

First of all, I tried to kill myself just now reading this lame ass story. Turns out you can’t make your own head explode like on Scanners. Also, is he fucking kidding? I don’t know what’s worse: trying to off yourself with Ativan (the aspirin of anxiety pills) in the Target Parking lot listening to sad songs like a teenage girl, or your mom driving over in her mini-van to save your crying ass and hugging it out on the way to the hospital.

Obligatory stuff: Teenage All suicide is no joke and the JED Foundation actually helps kids who are in trouble. Don’t kill yourself. Please. Or I will call you a huge pussy.

Here are some pictures of Ashlee Simpson, whom despite being utterly annoying, still manages to be hot.