Fatback Media

If you were a Pete Doherty fan before, well now there’s more of this never-bathing, slimy Brit C-lister to love. Yesterday Pete emerged from his one-month stint in rehab looking like one-and-a-half of his former self. And I can only imagine what fat Pete Doherty smells like. Now there are even more nooks and crannies on his body that won’t get washed. Yum.

Seriously though, how can you gain this much weight in one month from getting off smack? Don’t you spend two weeks throwing up from detox? That would leave only two weeks to gain what looks to be 20-25lbs. Puzzling. Maybe he ate Kate Moss in revenge for her dating her new man. But if she isn’t in his stomach and is alive and well, then silly her didn’t know how much she’d be missing by not being with Pete post-rehab. She could have had this prize had she not dumped him. Tragic.

Check out pre-rehab Pete. I could not find one picture of him without a fag in his mouth. Shame on you!

Rocker Pete Doherty and supermodel Kate Moss have announced their wedding date. Never a couple to let debilitating addiction stand on their way, the lush event will be held in January in Spain.

The day after Babyshambles announced they have postponed the rest of their tour to give Doherty more time for rehab, we now hear Pete and Kate have set a wedding date. The big event will apparently take place on January 16th, 2007 in the notorious party town of Ibiza, Spain. January 16th also happens to be Kate’s 33rd birthday. The event will cost an estimated $3.7 million dollars and will be attended by Sir Elton John, Sir Richard Branson, Jude Law and Jade Jagger. The couple plans to sell their wedding pictures to the highest bidder and then honeymoon in the United States. (source)

Holy shit, Pete Doherty is hot. But OMG not. I wish the best of luck to the emaciated, ghostly pair. Nothing like getting married in a raucous European party city to keep the rehab in check. I think you’d probably be more successful at scrubbing the crabs off your pubes with Paris Hilton’s pubes than you would staying off drugs in Ibiza. The last time I attended a junkie wedding in Europe, I woke up the next day with sticky hair, a hangover, a shamrock tattoo down there and a used IUD. Don’t ask. Do you suppose the party favors will include a needle and a spoon? I’m awful.