Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton Is A Rich Little Slut
Dec 31st
A lot of people are hurting in our economy. But not Paris Hilton. Wonky dropped over $3,800 in Australia yesterday for a New Years Eve dress. She is also getting paid over 100,000 Australian dollars to host a New Years Eve party at a club in Australia.
Many people are stumped as to why she is in Australia instead of the U.S. to kick off New Years but the answer is simple. They ring in the New Year before the rest of the world. They are the eastern most land mass. No word yet on whether or not she will bring her new BFF pictured above. So while Paris is living it up in another time zone and dropping money on things like pink Bentleys, I will warm up another packet of Ramen noodles and cry myself to sleep because I can not pay my rent this month. (images via)
Paris Hilton Will Never Be Queen
Dec 11th
Paris Hilton has just recently hit the market. She was dating douche bag extraordinaire Benji Madden for a time but her dreams of being a sister-in-law to Nicole Richie finally faded and she decided to go out clubbing, get smashed and do all the things Paris Hilton loves to do. Just before breaking up with Benji she was seen flirting with her ex beau Stavros Niarchos. But a couple of weeks before that she was seen flirting with Prince William.
It was rumored that the two may start dating and if that worked out well then Paris Hilton would become the future queen of England. William was originally scheduled to show up to Paris Hilton’s New Years Eve bash in Australia. I know what a lot of people are thinking. Why Australia? Because Australia rings in the New Year before Europe and America silly! A source for Fox news has said, ” William really wanted to go. But he has been told under no circumstances is he to associate with Paris.” If I were him I would tell the royal family that he is the prince and that they can fuck off. But he will probably cry about it and spill his tea all over the floor.
Links that prefer beer over tea
Miley Cyrus got her license- IBBB
The Golden Globes announced their nominees- Allie Is Wired
Jennifer Aniston is naked. Still boring. – notorious news
Hilary Duff is a titty cutter- Drunken Stepfather
Bea Authur is old- popbytes
Paula Abdul thinks she is Michael Jackson- The Bastardly
Carmen Electra is nude in Playboy again- Geno’s World
Katie Holmes has herpees- yeeeah
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Amanda Bynes has sloppy seconds- I Don’t Want Your Life
Ellen DeGeneres is a whore. Even though she is a lesbian- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Paris And Benji Are Dunzo
Nov 20th
I told you. I told you and I called it. After those pictures of Paris Hilton and Stavros Niarchosleaked onto the internet it was only a matter of time before Paris and Benji call it quits. I think Paris got over the fact that someday her and Nicole Richie could become sister-in-laws. A source tells Us magazine, ” Friends thought Paris had changed since being with Benji and she wants to be herself again.” She wants to be herself again!
So look forward to a lot more pictures and stories of Paris Hilton on a daily basis because before she dated Benji, she was at night clubs every night and getting drunk with friends until 3 a.m. I don’t know if things are back on between her and Stavros Niarchos but that point is literally moot. What can we expect now? A sex tape featuring Paris and Benji? That would be nice. I would settle for a few nude pics. That is what a true ex boyfriend would do. But I am not holding my breath. Benji is a douche bag and he wouldn’t see an opportunity like that if it hit him in the head.
Paris Hilton Is Unfaithful
Nov 18th
Everybody knows that Paris Hilton is a herpes ridden whore but in most circles, people have the idea that she has finally settled down with boyfriend Benji Madden. Don’t worry people, the old Wonky is back. During the 2008 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Paris was seen and photographed getting closer to her old beau Stavros Niarchos. To be honest, I don’t see what Paris saw in Benji, he is a douche bag who always wears funny little hats.
A spy at OK magazine says, ” They looked like they were back to their old ways and you never would have thought that she had a boyfriend. She was all about Stavros. They left together and went back to their hotel.” What a slut! Hot damn! I am excited that the old slutty and attention whoring Paris Hilton is back. This deserves a holiday. As of today, November 18 will be known as Slut Day. After Benji sees these photos I do not know how he will react. But look at this guy. A shipping heir with a weird name and looks to boot. I can’t blame her for leaving Benji “douche bag” Madden. I give the douche bag/wonky relationship a week before Paris is officially back on the market.
Links that overdosed on sexy pills
Michelle Trachtenberg has ugly legs- The Bastardly
Wino’s crackhive returns- d-listed
More The Hills disaster news- IBBB
Kim Kardashian is photoshopped- Drunken Stepfather
Ashlee Simpson wants her baby NOW! – notorious news
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Britney Spears is still trying to be sexy- Allie Is Wired
Angelina Jolie is a cry baby- Geno’s World
Karolina Kurkova doesn’t have a belly button- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Emma Watson is rich- I Don’t Want Your Life
