Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton Is A Vandal
May 13th
Paris Hilton recently moved back to the Hollywood hills. I am sure everyone just missed her like crazy. Or not. Either way she had a HUGE party and everyone who was anyone showed up to welcome her back. The party lasted until 4 a.m. and the neighbors got pissed and called the cops because of the noise.
After they finally got back to sleep then woke up the next morning and found their cars keyed and egged. People think Paris wouldn’t stoop to such the low level to do such a thing, but I think she arranged the vandalism and provided the eggs. Among the cars keyed was two Bentleys, two Maseratis and a $1.4 million Bugatti Veyron. When is she gonna grow up? I hope karma pays her back and gives her an STD. What’s that? She already has all of them? Well that doesn’t surprise me. In fact her poon tang is so riddled with disease the only way she can treat the condition is to have sex which actually shakes loose some of the crabs.
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Links that prefer toilet paper over eggs
Megan Fox is bi-sexual. Hooray! – IDLYITW
Ghetto brawl- Drunken Stepfather
Sam Lutfi is going to have to pay Britney Spears’ legal bills- Amy Grindhouse
Harriet Carter Wednesday- IBBB
Jennifer Love Hewitt has a “love”ly dress. I should be shot for making that joke- I Don’t Want Your Life
Marilyn Manson looks like a cult leader- yeeeah
Kong Kardashian is a mermaid- IDLYITWÂ
I see Paris Hilton’s tushy- Celeb News Wire
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Night At The Museum 2 looks like shit- Holy Moly
Katie Price is trying to score with a gay guy- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Vanessa Anne Hudgens said she will get naked for a movie- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Owain Yeoman for the ladies- popbytes
Geno’s World pisses off Kirstie Alley on Twitter- Geno’s World
Helen Phillips wins The Biggest Loser – notorious news
Paris Likes To Google Herself
May 8th
Well this isn’t exactly ground breaking news, but it needs to be said. Paris Hilton, who when asked if she kept a diary for her business meetings said, ” I just press my name and Google it and see.” Paris who is very much so in love with herself, is being sued for $8 million for not promoting her movie Pledge This! in 2006. When the movie was being released everyone and everyone in the blog world was already making fun of it, and because of that, Paris felt like a fool and didn’t promote the movie.
The thing is, she was a producer and stilldidn’t promote it. She doesn’t even know what producers do. She was called upon to testify in court and when asked about calls from the producers she said, ” With my phone I never know, because I lose it all the time. I probably get a new cell phone, like, every two weeks.” She is rich but I doubt she actually does that. The lawyers then took the natural next step and pulled from evidence her phone bill at the time, which she replied, ” I’ve never seen a phone bill of mine in my life.” How pathetic is that? Who pays her bills? Daddy?
Basically Paris is full of shit and the court didn’t take her “playing stupid” too well. Finally they got down to the nitty gritty and asked her about her not promoting the film and her role as a producer. She plays stupid again saying, ” I’m not sure what a producer does, but- I don’t know, help get cool people in the cast?” I don’t know if she succeeded at that, but there were a lot of hot chicks in the movie and that makes it pretty cool. I am one of the 12 people who actually saw the movie.
So to summarize, Paris is a moron, and she will lose this case. When that happens, we will all join in a collective point at laugh at Paris Hilton. I don’t know what laugh I will use. Either the Milton Haha or the more sinister Buhahahaha!
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Paris Hilton Is…Kind Of Smart
Apr 28th
In the news everyone is hearing endlessly about this new sickness that is sweeping the nation called the swine flu. I am not sure how you get it, but it has something to do with eating pork. Paris Hilton will not get the swine flu because she avoids meats like that. She eats a different kind of meat on a nightly basis if you know what I mean. She even spoke out about the swine flu to a TMZ photographer.
Here is how the conversation went down. Photog: You worried about the swine flu, Paris? It’s killing a lot of people in Mexico. Paris: I don’t eat that. Genius! I don’t know if she was referring to eating the swine flu or eating dysentery ridden food from Mexico, but either way, she is not eating that. In other Paris news, she is receiving an award for her fragrance line and has signed a 3 year deal to continue making the stench. Congrats on the fragrance Paris, I hope the swine flu gives you explosive diarrhea.
Paris Hilton Reserves Her Spot On The D-List
Mar 26th
Paris Hilton and Kathy Griffin could not be any different. Other than they both are on the d-list and are completely talentless. OK so maybe they do have something in common. They spent the day yesterday shopping at Kitson’s with their dogs. Kathy is dressed in some sort of coked out tutu outfit and Paris looks like…well…Paris. Usually when the Hollywood elite, which they are not, go shopping with their dogs usually the dogs are confined to a purse or a doggy handbag that costs $15,000 but Kathy went shopping with what looks like a fucking great dane.
Kathy has a lot to learn about being on the d-list. She has to be more superficial. That and usually people on the d-list are beautiful people that are simply famous for being famous and looks good on the red carpet at all the movie premieres that they are not invited to. Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Kim Kardashian and Heidi Montag are perfect for this role. Kathy Griffin? Not so much. She actually tried to be talented and failed miserably at it. Granted that failed attempt occurred in the 90′s but time never lets wounds heal. Let’s all engage in a collective point and laugh. ::points:: Hahahahaha!
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