"please to bring vodka, tovarisch..."

Get your bunkers filled with twinkies and lite beer, comrades. The Cold war = on like donkey kong!

This is accused spy Anna Chapman giving the Russian salute. Apparently all Russian chicks are exactly like you think  they are:

1. They’re hot
2. They have sexy accents
3. They fucking hate everything about you
4. They’re all spies
5. They love vodka sex

Recently arrested and still alleged Russian spy, Anna Chapman’s ex-husband (read: mark) is pissed that he’s not getting that anymore doing his patriotic duty and releasing nude photos information vital to the investigation. Let’s go down to Gorky Park and listen to the winds of change with NOTW:

For the first time Alex Chapman opens the full classified file – including compromising snaps – on the beauty arrested as a Moscow agent in the US.

He tells how James Bond-loving temptress Anna had a 007-style mile high romp on a plane from London to the Russian capital as their passion reached its height.

And how the 28-year-old femme fatale loved to wear nipple clamps and wield a WHIP like an interrogator as they were Ivan it off.

“I found her Russian accent such a turn-on,” says Alex, 30, who had no idea she was honing her sexy spying skills on him. “She was the most beautiful person I had ever met, with an extraordinary body, and I was infatuated with her.

But their relationship was to be built on secrets and lies.

Kinda like the secrets and lies MI5 and MI6 were duped with as Russians infiltrated your agencies for 40 years! Zing! Aw..too soon? I simply have no problem basing my relationship with a smoking hot red-head Russian spy on secrecy and lies  - and sex, myah sladkaya, lots of vokda sex. Na Strovya!

Or Am I just old fashioned and missing the point that would be indicative of the Apocalypse–that Playboy is a PR vehicle used to clean up an image?!? Wow, the times they are a-changin. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a newsstand to get to . . . I mean do want to see Kim naked!

PS. Here are some of the nude Kim Kardashian pics from Crave.

Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

Miss Lennox has never understood the attraction to Natalie Portman. She’s cute at best. And, since her pixie hair cut, I am unable to see how men find anything sexy about her. I prefer that woman be built curvy and have longer hair. In these screen captures from her upcoming film “Hotel Chevalier,” Natalie looks like she needs to go eat a steak and get some hair extensions. And what’s up with the damn socks and tennis shoes she’s wearing in this scene? Are we supposed to find that sexy as contrasted against her nudity? It’s dorky. Not sexy. At all.

Natalie’s nakedness fails to excite me. But, maybe you like androgynous girls, and these pics will excite you . . . hell, I know there are a bunch of Fatback and Collards pervs out there, some of you who harbor fantasies of 13 year old-boys who wear socks and tennis shoes whilst otherwise naked. To you, I say enjoy!

Yeah, I’ll say it. Who. Gives. A. Fuck.

There. Now the rest of the world can thumb their noses at little ol’ Valkyrie, a girl who doesn’t give two shits about the Becks bending whatever it is he bends, or some dumbass NFL player who was dumb enough to get caught in a dog fighting racket. Nope, and I don’t care about the welfare of these dogs. Why? Because I don’t. I’m betting about a few million other people don’t either.

Oh, there will be a ton of pissed off PETA bitches whining about the poor, loyal pit bulls and other doggies who got bit the fuck up and killed.

Yeah, well, fuck ‘em.

I have an idea that will solve my give-a-fuckedness. Take the Bex, Vick, and four or five fighting pit bulls, put them all in a large enclosure with an electric fence and a closed circuit camera. Sell video.

Now that’s something I would love to cover. So why do I have pictures of hot naked biker chicks? Well, because that’s way hotter than dead doggies, sugar! PS. Sorry about the pic of your mom. Slut!

It rhymes! I don’t even know who Emily Scott is, but what I do know is that she’s pasting her sweet ass on every gentleman‘s magazine in town, and to that I give a roaring “hell yeah”. And that’s not sexist, because I’m a girl. And keeping true to form, this is sinfully hot Emily doing it yet again for the July issue of FHM UK (pics source). Would you expect any less though? With a name like Emily, she’s sure to be charming and devilishly clever. So much so I bet you don’t realize your wallet’s missing even now, do you? Sucka! Go buy the magazine if you want to see more or if you’d like to see  Emily Scott naked check the archives.

Jambalaya! Hang on to your bootstraps; it’s time again for FB&C Sexy Southern Girl of the Week (FBCSSGW). This is Cameron Richardson and she’s a gin-u-wine lass from the bayous of Looziana. She’s also fucking hot. I ran across her when I was searching for my ‘Cajun Queens’ photo spread I shot last winter and according to the infinitely knowledgeable IMDB, she’s an actress who’s been in movies no one gives a shit about except if there were nude scenes. She was also was named #52 on Maxim’s Hot 100 of 2005 list which puts her on this girl’s list automatically. I was ranked #3 on the national list of women who show the goods for two vodka crans, only to be beat out by two biker skanks with money enough to pay off the judges. Fucking politics. Oh, and I’ve taken first place at the Harley Davidson Biker Babe Bash three years running. Eat your heart out, fellas.
Click here for the full spread of NSFW photos of Cameron.