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Tara Reid’s Botched Boobies
Oct 11th
Hey y’all Em, here. Just marveling at those giant, ridiculous ta-tas. OMG. Tara Reid stated she recently had restorative plastic surgery to fix the damage from her previous implant and liposuction surgeries. So, not only is her brain plastic, but most of the rest of her body is as well. ZING! The new Us Weekly has details of her botched surgeries including a joint implant-liposuction procedure. Tara tells the full story.
On why she had plastic surgery in the first place:
“I got my breasts done for the first time because my breasts were uneven. I was a 34-B, but the right one was always bigger than the left. I weigh 110 pounds now, but I always used to fluctuate by 10 pounds, so my skin was kind of saggy. I figured, I’m in Hollywood, I’m getting older, I’m going to fix them.â€On what went wrong:
“First of all, I asked for big Bs, and he did not give me big Bs. He gave me Cs, and I didn’t want them. At all. Right after the surgery, I had some bumps along the edges of my nipples, but the doctor said, ‘Don’t worry, it’s going to be better.’ But after six months of ‘it’s going to get better,’ it started to get worse and worse.†(source)
Well that’s what happens when you’re so strung out on booze and coke; naturally, you make bad decisions. Like going to a shady plastic surgeon in Guadalajara for a “routine” nose job. And then participating in a coke fueled Mexican “donkey” show and subsequently starting a riot to free the animals. And then the Mexican police showed up and you spent three days explaining yourself in broken Spanish to crooked cops who just laughed a lot and watched poorly directed porn on an 8-inch monitor. But eventually your college roommate’s brother bailed you out of jail (you never questioned his law degree or license) and you got sober and now I’m you’re volunteering with children and animal shelters and your life’s a fucking Hallmark card. Go figure. Here’s Tara looking cute as a button back in the B-cup days before she was ravaged by drugs, hordes of angry men and an unlicensed physician.
Deep Throat Highly Influential Film
Oct 6th
Hey y’all, Emily here! It’s Friday and that’s my Pornday. The 1972 porn hit “Deep Throat†is considered one of 100 culturally classic films of all time. I wonder if Pump Fiction or Caddysnatch made the list?
The pioneering porno movie “Deep Throat” was picked on Wednesday as one of 100 landmark films of all time in a new Radio Times guide.
The “Radio Times Guide to Films 2007,” compiled by the magazine’s film reviewers and staff, put “Deep Throat” up there with such cult classics as “Citizen Kane” and “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”
Justifying the choice, Radio Times’ film editor Andrew Collins said: “Deep Throat is not necessarily recommended for everyone — it’s a quite badly made film — but to deny its influence would be pure snobbery.” (source)
Every time I hear that characteristic 70s porn soundtrack it launches me back to the first time I watched Deep Throat. Daddy was passed out on the couch from the booze and mommy’s special “Flintstones” so I took a video from his collection he hid in the Miller Lite box in the garage. Changed my life. It was clearly the influence of Deep Throat that led to me enrolling in medical school. You can imagine my severe disappointment, however, when “fierce cock sucking and angry anal orgies†weren’t on the list of medical specialties. Fucking liars! The disillusionment led me to drop out of med school, work the late shift at the strip joint where I met a crowd of Brazilian models and eventually developed a $1000 a day coke habit. I’m not bitter.
That being said, who’s up for movie reenactment night at my place? Bring your fishnets! Speaking of ho’s. Here are the Girls Next Door trying to be Halloween-ish, but mostly whore-ish. Mouse over the images for descriptions. Click ‘em if you wanna lick ‘em.
Heidi Klum v. Rachael Ray. In Jell-O.
Sep 22nd
Not really, but a girl can dream, right? Hey y’all Emily here. Heidi Klum should host a cooking show on the Food Network wearing nothing but silk stalkings and a smile.
It’s chef HEIDI KLUM — showing off her kitchen prowess! She flips omelets like a pro in a candid behind-the-scenes look at her Malibu photo shoot for October’s Self magazine (www.Self.com).
In the new issue, Heidi reveals her rarely seen creative and casual side. The hot-as-ever “Project Runway” host and mother of two speaks openly about her struggle in trying to conform to model stereotypes.
“I just thought, ‘You know, that’s not who I am. I just don’t look like that.’ I never will be. I’m more big boned that way. I’m more curvy. And that’s just the way it is. Now I don’t really think about it.”(source)
I always thought Heidi and I could be twins. She has a killer smile, I have a killer bee farm. She’s hot. I live in the south where it’s hot. She’s German. I like wiener schnitzel. She has sexy curves. I have a tattoo that says Slippery When Wet near one of my curves. She’s married to Seal. I broke the seal of the Oxyconton bottle this morning. All I’m sayin’ is Heidi Klum can cook omelets for me any day. She could burn my cereal and I’d still drink her bathwater. Hot. So. Very. Hot. Don’t do drugs! Here’s Heidi in the August Jane Magazine. Is it hot in here?
