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Here Kim Kardashian proudly stands next to the cover of her December Playboy issue at its release party last night. The real marvel here is not Kim’s voluptuous body displayed in the mag, but the fact that her fierce fight to prove she is more than a dirty rich girl on a sex tape has led her to the brilliant decision to pose NUDE in Playboy. I mean is the best way to send your whore image into a 180 tailspin really to show your boobs and hoo-ha in a national magazine?

Or Am I just old fashioned and missing the point that would be indicative of the Apocalypse–that Playboy is a PR vehicle used to clean up an image?!? Wow, the times they are a-changin. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a newsstand to get to . . . I mean do want to see Kim naked!

PS. Here are some of the nude Kim Kardashian pics from Crave.

Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

So Larissa, i.e. “Bootz” from “Flavor of Love 2″ and the picture thief from “Charm School” posed this month for “Smooth Girl” magazine. From perusing the SmoothGirl website I know that Miss Lennox is about 15 pounds of ass short of ever gracing their pages, but if you like the boo-tay, definitely check out the site.

Anyway, amidst the pics of Bootz’ copious ass, there is an interview in which she comments on the veracity of the “Flavor of Love” series:

“[Flav] had a female pregnant while he was taping the show, so it wasn’t serious from the gate. To me, the show was comedy. How are you going to try to pick a woman and you already got somebody pregnant? From day one, Flav said that he didn’t want a girlfriend. He was never going to tell us, ‘This show is full of shit,’ but after I heard that, I played the game.”

No way! I had no idea that the show was staged/scripted/bullshit/a joke. Yeah right. Anyway, please go enjoy Bootz’s ass pictures and let’s all say a collective prayer that SmoothGirl mag will not be featuring “Hottie” next!

Yeah, I’ll say it. Who. Gives. A. Fuck.

There. Now the rest of the world can thumb their noses at little ol’ Valkyrie, a girl who doesn’t give two shits about the Becks bending whatever it is he bends, or some dumbass NFL player who was dumb enough to get caught in a dog fighting racket. Nope, and I don’t care about the welfare of these dogs. Why? Because I don’t. I’m betting about a few million other people don’t either.

Oh, there will be a ton of pissed off PETA bitches whining about the poor, loyal pit bulls and other doggies who got bit the fuck up and killed.

Yeah, well, fuck ‘em.

I have an idea that will solve my give-a-fuckedness. Take the Bex, Vick, and four or five fighting pit bulls, put them all in a large enclosure with an electric fence and a closed circuit camera. Sell video.

Now that’s something I would love to cover. So why do I have pictures of hot naked biker chicks? Well, because that’s way hotter than dead doggies, sugar! PS. Sorry about the pic of your mom. Slut!

It rhymes! I don’t even know who Emily Scott is, but what I do know is that she’s pasting her sweet ass on every gentleman’s magazine in town, and to that I give a roaring “hell yeah”. And that’s not sexist, because I’m a girl. And keeping true to form, this is sinfully hot Emily doing it yet again for the July issue of FHM UK (pics source). Would you expect any less though? With a name like Emily, she’s sure to be charming and devilishly clever. So much so I bet you don’t realize your wallet’s missing even now, do you? Sucka! Go buy the magazine if you want to see more or if you’d like to see  Emily Scott naked check the archives.

Rolling Stone’s June issue is set to feature Johnny Depp and Keith Richards, stars of the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Richards will be playing Cap’n Jack Sparrow’s (Depp) father.

It’s damn near typecasting, since Depp admits he used Richards as a model for the dreadlocked, mascaraed Jack. As Roger Ebert wrote, “Depp seems to be channeling a drunken drag queen, with his eyeliner and the way he minces ashore and slurs his dialogue ever so insouciantly.”

RS also insouciantly added:

Depp’s trailer is movie-star expansive and well swabbed with couches and wall tapestries, yet the joint also has the scary vibe of a voodoo lounge. After all, Richards, a certified wild card, recently told a Brit magazine that he was so close to his late dad, Bert, that he snorted his ashes with a bit of blow… Days earlier, [a] reporter earned the wrath of Keith for mistaking Richards’ famed skull ring for an Iggy Pop copy. The blunder led the rock icon to threaten the journalist with sodomy by banana.(source)

It’s no secret I have a weakness for badass rockstars with attitudes, so the news of Keith threatening sodomy by banana MADE MY FUCKING DAY. This story isn’t southern and it isn’t sexy, but it’s a riot. Not all celebrity gossip is filled with hot women with ginormous racks, you greedy bastards. Learn to appreciate the finer things in life, like fine wine, good music, strippers who accept checks and coked-out 60 year old rockstars.

And because I know you only come here for the gratuitous tit and ass shots, here’s some photos of ultra hot Karolina Kurkova. You can’t pronounce it, but you don’t need to. Kisses!

-Em.