Fatback Media

What the hell does this guy have that I don’t? Blond hair. Check. Blue eyes. Check. Ridiculous little wanna be goatee. Check. How does he lands chicks like Nicollette Sheridan? The two were spotted “full on making out” at Luau the other night. Granted Nicollette Sheridan is a far cry from Heather Locklear but it is still some pretty good old lady tail.

They are trying to be coy by showing up at parties in separate cars and ignoring each other until late at night when they think the “spies” aren’t watching them. But everything is seen in Hollywood. I think the whole reason they are being “coy” is because Nicollette Sheridan doesn’t want the guys of the world to think she has settled on one man so when a realman comes along she can take them up on their offers. It is another day and that means another day of me being jealous of little douches like David Spade who manages to get killer girls just by being a little skinny pipsqueak. Like me.

I didn’t wanna make this post and only give you David Spade’s ugly mug to look at so here are some Nicollette Sheridan bikini pictures.

Source

Links from the shore of the Mississippi river

Jodie Sweetin is divorced. How rude! – IBBB

Jessica Alba is covered up. Isn’t that illegal in some states? – Drunken Stepfather

Caption this! AnnaLynne McCord edition. – The Bastardly

David Archuleta poses with a porn star. He looks happy. – Aliie Is Wired

Katie Price is very candid- d-listed

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Kim Catrall still thinks she’s hot- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Wino was rushed to the hospital again…again- notorious news

Selena Gomez is cute. I mean jailbait. Jailbait- I Don’t Want Your Life

Behind the scenes of the Britney Spears Rolling Stone photo shoot- Geno’s World

While I gained five pounds binging on desserts and shit over the holidays, Hollywood girls found more productive uses for their time:

Jennifer Love Hewitt volunteered at an L.A. Soup Kitchen preparing meals for the homeless, and looking quite cute with Santa I may add. Meanwhile, Nicky Hilton was showing off her bronzed, bony body on vacation with her family in Maui. Note Paris’ beach get-up which I’m certain came from a vintage shop circa 1988. Nicolette Sheridan was also at a beach on Christmas–she and boyfriend Michael Bolton hung out in St. Barts where she showed the paparazzi she was no Jennifer Love Hewitt. Seriously, the woman is nearly 45 and looks friggin’ incredible! Finally, Kim Kardashian did some holiday shopping with Reggie Bush who will be just another “friend” who she gets mad about at the media for portraying her as sleeping with. No worries, KK–we know that you just have a lot of male friends and that the only guy you’ve had sex with is Ray-J. Yeah right.