Fatback Media

It seems that every day things change. A celebrity hotty is on the market then off then on again. I have been waiting for this one for some time now. Vanessa Minnillo broke up with her talentless famous for being famous boyfriend Nick Lachey. I am not a big fan of Lachey but he put his dick not only in Jessica Simpson’s ass but Vanessa Minnillo’s as well. That is worth a Barney Stinsonesque highest of fives.

I would post a few pics of those pics taken of Nick and Vanessa is Cabo I believe where Vanessa gives us some full frontal nudity but that is for the NSFW section. What will she do now? I know Playboy is at her door. I am sure some lucky douche, as hot chicks like this don’t hook up with hot guys just the luckiest douches of all douches, will get her in bed and hopefully make a sex tape or something.

Source

Jessica Simpson attributes failed marriage to Nick when he did not attend a charity trip in Africa in October 2005.

“I went there on our three-year wedding anniversary,” she tells Jane magazine for its November issue. “He stayed home”

Simpson was part of a travel contingent representing Operation Smile, a not-for-profit, volunteer medical services organization that provides reconstructive facial surgery to indigent children in remote areas.

Although Simpson and Lachey had both been presented with the organization’s Universal Smile Award at a Los Angeles Gala, Simpson ended up traveling to Nakuru, Kenya, with hairdresser Ken Paves, friend Cacee Cobb and her manger-father, Joe Simpson. (source)

In the land of WTF, picture me wearing a tutu, a hockey jersey and holding an assault rifle. That makes as much sense as traveling to Africa on your three-year anniversary with hairdresser in tow. Or maybe it’s offering plastic surgery to children who would probably benefit more from clean water than a “beauty mark” a la Cindy Crawford. Why are we still stewing over the breakup slash divorce almost a year after the fact anyway? Jessica could have caught Nick in compromising positions with a frozen turkey on the bathroom floor and I still wouldn’t give a fuck (although I would definitely google the photos). There’s more interesting news brewing lately. Like how am I gonna explain my recent trip to the clinic to my HMO? Real problems, real world, people! Here’s more of Jessica doing her best to not hide her boobtastic cleavage.

MTV starlet Vanessa Minillo recently caught attention of Carolina Hurricanes players Eric Staal and Eric Cole at the NHL season kickoff party. Boyfriend Nick Lachey may have competition. Fight, fight!

NICK Lachey had better keep a close eye on girlfriend Vanessa Minillo. The MTV hottie caught the eyes of Eric Staal and Eric Cole of the Carolina Hurricanes the other night at Marquee at the NHL season kickoff party sponsored by FHM magazine. Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist was there, as well as Peter Forsberg and Darius Kasparaitis, plus hockey fans Tim Robbins and his son Miles. But not even Minillo could hold the players’ attention when the Stanley Cup was unveiled for the first time with the two Hurricanes’ names on it. (source)

As a devoted, enthusiastic hockey fan and an even more so, a loyal follower of the Carolina ‘Canes (reprazent!), I just want to tell Vanessa Minnillo to BACK THE FUCK UP, BITCH. I had my eyes on Staal and Cole long before your twiggy, gold-digging, soul-sucking ass showed up on the scene. It wasn’t enough that dejected Nick ran to your doorstep, but now you’re entertaining the ogles of two men who clearly belong to me? The last time a bitch meddled in my love affairs, she ended up on a stretcher with a stiletto up her kidney with her little red Porsche “parked” in the front glass window of Winn Dixie. I keep the pimp hand strong and I’m quick to slap a ho. Consider this your warning. Homewrecker.