Mischa Barton
Mischa Barton is a Shitty Actress, Still Fuckable
Jan 20th
Mischa Barton is one of those chicks you don’t hear about all that often but when you do hear about her, it is usually bad news. Today is no different. Mischa Barton was on the set of Law & Order: SVU and the cast basically told everyone that she is a pain in the ass to work with.
What ought to do is what most chicks who have a shitty acting career and a slammin’ body does, chill at the beach and only surface for the occasional lingerie shoot for men’s magazines. This is her career path. I am sure if she was in high school and she went to the guidance counselor her senior year to figure out what the fuck to do after high school, he/she would give her the same advice. I would offer my services to my local high school but I am blacklisted. She said she was 18, not my problem freshmen look like seniors these days.
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Mischa Barton is in the Nut House
Jul 17th
Recently Mischa Barton has been making headlines mostly for her puffy appearance since having her wisdom teeth removed which made her look like a blow fish. Don’t get me wrong she still looks hot only now she has a puffy second chin that makes it looks like her diet consists of Big Macs and nothing else. This isn’t the reason I posting this today though.
As it turns out, Mischa Barton had some sort of mental breakdown or freak out or some shit and now she is in the nut house. The technical term for the psychiatric hold is 5150. You might remember hearing that term when Brit Brit was commited but that was back in Jan. 2008 so it may have slipped your memory. Basically what 5150 means is that the person is a threat to him/herself or others and need to be taken to the looney bin involuntarily. She is now residing in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
Mischa Barton Should Have Been Arrested Long Ago
Dec 28th
So Mischa Barton’s been arrested for DUI, possession of narcotics (the exact drug hasn’t been confirmed yet), and driving on a suspended license. She’s a dirty hippie type so I’m not the least bit surprised at any of the charges, but seriously y’all this little starlet should have been arrested a long time ago . . . by the fashion police! ZING! Mischa is notorious for wearing mom jeans, frumpy muu-muus, and anything extremely high-waisted. I don’t care how stylish she looks in magazines–in real life the girl cannot dress herself and should not be let out of the house without the assistance of a stylist.
Prior to her arrest, just this weekend she was roaming L.A. in what is perhaps the peak of her fashion violations to date. I feel sorry for her thin body that was forced to wear an outfit that no woman can look good in, but mostly I feel sorry for her asphyxiating lady parts that surely were crying out for air . . .
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Mischa Barton forgot her bra. God bless America!
May 18th
Call your mother. So she can slap your ass and spray-paint your panties ’cause I’M BACK, BITCHES! Your favorite potty-mouthed sweetcake has resurfaced for some sexy, southern action and I figure there’s no better comeback than a nip-slip! Former “OC”? star Mischa Barton was caught by cameras last night in London at The Berkeley Hotel. Thank you, sweet cameraman’ err, cameraperson, or whore. Whatever. We’re not sexist here at FB&C. Oh fuck it, yes we are.
I’ve traveled abroad, and it’s something about the jet lag and cheap first-class champagne that makes you want to show your tits on the street corner. Or maybe that’s just me? Cheerio! NSFW after the jump you dirty birds.
