Megan Fox
Megan Fox Got Married
Jun 29th
So my dream of landing Hollywood’s last unruined unmarried hottie is now over. BriAusGree and MeFo were married in Hawai’i last week and blah blah blah. Let the Pulitzer candidates at Star tell you what happened.
“They had a fairly large wedding, but there were clearly more security people than guests!†the insider tells Star. “They had so many security people that they had to call in local security because the hotel security alone wouldn’t do. It was very hush hush. Everyone was sworn to secrecy.â€
The location of the wedding — which took place Thursday or Friday — was the Four Seasons Hualalai at Historic Ka’upulehu on the big island of Hawaii. The hotel has many amenities like a golf course and a spa. The hotel is known for throwing big, A-list weddings.
If you made it through that. Wait! There’s mo’…
Just days earlier Megan had lost her two-carat diamond engagement ring from Excalibur jewelry store in Beverly Hills in the Hawaiian sand after Brian re-proposed. After much searching the ring was not found.
And by much searching they mean Brian Austin Green crawling around in tears while Megan huffed. “All this sun is making me tired… *makes pouty face, blows Tiki bartender*
Megan Fox Might Be Off The Market…Yet Again
Jan 18th
Not too long ago Brian Austin Green, Megan Fox’s boyfriend, took to his Twitter account to answer questions from his followers. I think it is cool when celebrities do this but the fact that he is cockblocking me from ever having sex with Megan Fox, I dislike it. He was asked if he was married with kids and he said he was engaged and had two kids.
This basically means, even though there has been no public announcement, that Megan Fox is engaged again. It is reports like this that make me want to work for a pool cleaning company so I can be Megan Fox’s pool boy. You know rich chicks like having affairs with their pool boy. It is like a law or something. When you make over a million in a year and you make claims on your taxes, sleeping with the pool boy is a write off.
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You Will Never See A Megan Fox Sex Tape
Sep 9th
As stimulating as it is to see the words Megan Fox and sex tape in the same sentence, my boner is about to get a lot more depressed. She tells MTV that she looks disgusting during sex and watching it would be like that of a hippo mating. I say where is her consensus? Make the tape, release it and then let the public decide.
Of course Megan is the typical Hollywood hottie and she doesn’t believe in anything like public opinion and she will just assume that people do not wanna see a sex tape of her which is very, very wrong. In the meantime I will stop by the theatre and see Jennifer’s Body in the hopes of at least seeing her tits but if that were the case the news would have already leaked onto the internet so I do not see that happening either. God damn. Why the fuck does Megan Fox have to be so fucking disappointing on a Wed. afternoon?
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Links that do what the public wants
Pamela Anderson is dating an electrician- IDLYITW
Taylor Swift is popular- notorious news
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Kim Catrall looks stupid no matter what her hair is like- Holy Moly
The Kardashian sisters at war?- popbytes
The Kardashian’s have jungle fever- Amy Grindhouse
John Mayer is the king of good pussy- IDLYITW
Megan Fox is Going to be Catwoman
Aug 27th
Oo la la. Megan Fox turns the world on with her hotness on a daily basis everywhere she goes but she is about to get even more hotter if that is even possible. She is going to squeeze into a super tight black leather catwoman suit in the next Batman movie. People believed that Batman would never be able to outdo himself after the award winning performance by Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, but I think they just outdid themselves.
Of course this is a movie for science fiction geeks and superhero losers and their mommy would drag them out of the theatre at the first sign of Megan Fox nudity so this is yet just another notch in the belt of no nudity for Megan Fox. We will get there. As God as my witness we will get there. Someday.
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Links that fight crime with their breasts
Lindsay Lohan might be getting her own reality show- IDLYITW
Kristen Stewart bitches about being a lazy whore- Allie Is Wired
Joanna Krupa is pretty- Drunken Stepfather
Ciara’s coinslot- Celeb News Wire
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Blake Lively is 22- IDLYITW
