Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan and Keanu Reeves?
Oct 2nd
Hey y’all, Emily here again. Check out these photos of Lindsay Lohan leaving a bar at the same time as Keanu Reeves. Coincidence? Or Whore?
I’ve been told shacking up with every guy in Hollywood is the first step to a visit at the “free†clinic, but I’ve resolved to adopt Lindsay’s approach to men and break-ups. Normally when my guy leaves me for the recently paroled cousin of his first wife, I cook a pot-roast, light candles, turn on something sentimental like Miles or Reverend Al, and drink entirely too much Franzia (its a box! of wine!), all the while stewing in the bane and blight that is the potage of my love life and then I take a naked swim in the nearest neighbor’s pool in hopes I die of a cramp before the pills kick in. But under Lindsay’s tutelage, I’ll just dance in cages at trendy clubs and make out with every B-list celebrity and heir this side of Europe (and even the cute ones in Europe). Excellent!
Also, in case your not in the fucking solar system, these images are from the hyper-litigious X17 ONLINE! Fucking watermark looks like a third degree burn. Subtle.
Better than…Fresh Meat!
Sep 8th
I am not a bum. I am a jerk. I once had wealth, power and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and… wait, no, that’s someone else. I’m Emily and I’m an alcoholic.
That’s right, bitches, I’m your new guest writer. I’m an infectious (well, until the antibiotics kick in) brazen southern belle – a combination deadlier than drunk Paris Hilton behind the wheel. Bless her heart! So as Fatback inhales a large bowl of shrimp-n-grits, I’m on a gig to recruit groupies. So far my method involves a 9 question survey, a hookah pipe, photos of Scarlett Johansson’s rack and a Black Crowes ticket stub …cause I rock. I rock hard. Sweet tea, anyone? Here’s what’s happening on your side of the tracks.
Listen to the sweet, soothing baby sounds of Suri Cruise. (Gossip or Truth)
Wicker Man does it’s best to make women look like the power hungry bitches that they are. KIDDING! About the bitches part. (Not a misogynist!) The movie still sucks. And if it’s anything like the original…the good guy gets burned alive at the end. OOPS! (Pajiba)
US Weekly ripped of Yeeeah’s blog design. Think they’ll admit it? Yeah, me either. (Yeeeah!)
Grey’s Anatomy -The Fray S3 video. (GMMR)
Lindsay Lohan keeps the shaved crabtrap under wraps. (The Bastardly)
Penelope Cruz and Matthew MConnaa…MCGoghey..MCcoughlagay…MCwhatever may be back together. (Bumpshack)
Lindsay Lohan was robbed. Her designer purse full of $1M in jewels and pirate booty was stolen from her at the Heathrow Airport. (Subvert)
