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Super class act -  and creator of most of the content on my hidden 2nd hard drive -  Joe Francis (of Girls Gone Wild fame) recently told E!’s Hollywood Party Girl that Lindsay was straight  - not gay - and went on to say she had a huge cavernous vazhe. [Okay I made that last part up, but in my defense this story is pretty boring]

“Lindsay’s straight,” he offered. “I think Sam has taken ownership of Lindsay. I think if Sam were to let Lindsay go even that much; Lindsay would revert back to being straight.”

Ronson’s rep declined to comment saying, “We don’t comment on stuff like that,” while LiLo’s rep has yet to respond.

Francis was reported to have dated Linds in her prerehab days and she even vacationed at his Casa Aramara mansion in Mexico.   (E!)

Snore. We get it Joe, you fucked a lot of underage girls. Jesus. You don’t see me running around bragging about how I had sex with three smokin’ hot Filipino cheerleaders who were all sisters when I was in high school do you? I’m way too classy for that shit. Plus I’m a big fan of adobado.

These pics show Lindsay Lohan at an Ugly Betty party looking every bit of the smoking hot, 42 yr old cougar. Reeeow.

What do you call a girl who sees somebody she’s banged every where you take her?

Lindsay Lohan was recently in an awkward situation at the Apple Lounge in West Hollywood (west siiiide) with her girlfriend Samantha Ronson because several ex-lovers showed up.

“Lindsay chatted with her ex Harry Morton for a few minutes,” a witness explains about the first encounter. “Sam wasn’t thrilled.” Lindsay, 22, was there to support her live-in galpal, who was deejaying the event. But before the night was over, another of Lindsay’s exes, Calum Best, showed up, followed by former girlfriend Courtenay Semel. Although Lindsay’s rep says, “It wasn’t awkward for her to be with all of her exes,” a witness says, “That was definitely enough drama for Lindsay. She made sure the rest of the night was very mellow, drinking little as she smoked and stuck by Sam’s side.” “Lindsay reassured Sam,” a witness says, “by gently rubbing her lower back whenever they were alone.” (InTouch)

God, I’ve seen bukkake gangbangs with less dicks than Lindsay’s had inside her. Is there anything left that she hasn’t fucked? It’s probably a bad sign when your new girlfriend sees people she’s fucked every time she leaves the house. So what do you call a girl like that? A cab. Whore.

Here’s Lindsay being my truie hero by refusing to wear a bra. Also, in that last pic: WTF happened in that car? It looks like a 7-11 dumpster. I bet there’s a stillborn baby undr those Cheez-its.

Lindsay Lohan’s former lesbian lover, Courtenay Semel (daughter of former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel) is revealing the torrid details of their affair and totally not trying to get publicity from it. At all. Really. You may remember Courtenay from great roles such as “Bratty Kid” in Hudson Hawk or “herself” on Kim Kardashian’s show.

Courtenay’s pal explained: “She met Lindsay in the summer of 2006 at a party in Malibu.

“From the start Lindsay was very confused about her feelings for Courtenay so did more and more drugs to stifle the sexual attraction she was experiencing.

“But eventually she just gave in and at every party they’d kiss and touch each other in the corner. It’s a miracle nobody found out.

“Both of them would do lines of cocaine in the toilets then head home and fall into bed together.”(NOTW)

This is a way better story than Lindsay Lohan banging Samantha Ronson. This chick Courtenay Semel is definitely doable, especially when you throw another sexually confused coked out hot chick into the mix. That reminds me of the time I wrote that letter to Penthouse. Let’s just say that the bathroom at the 7-11 on 10th Ave in Myrtle Beach will never be the same.

Lindsay Lohan’s estranged dad, Michael Lohan says he’ll likely not show up for her reported wedding to lover Samantha Ronson later this year.

Michael Lohan - who claims he hasn’t been told about plans for Lindsay to marry DJ Samantha later this year - doubts he will be involved in the ceremony if his daughter does tie the knot.

He said: “I haven’t heard anything about an upcoming wedding from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle.

“She knows about my Christian faith - she just wouldn’t ask.” (source)

He’s playing the Christian card here, but I think he’s like you and me and he’s all for some girl on girl - so long as both the girls are hot. Samantha Ronson is gonna need a serious dose of Prof. Henry Higgins if she’s gonna get into the spank bank. I’m not saying that Michael Lohan would jerk it to his naked daughter getting it on with another hot chick, I’m saying that he’s jerk it to his naked daughter just hanging out around the house.

Lindsay Lohan reportedly has a bastard half sister belonging to her father and another woman. Bastard may seem strong, but that’s the terminology. Like how a female dog is a bitch. And so is your whore girlfriend. Like that.

Linds’ father, Michael Lohan, has admitted to OK! that, while married — but at the time separated — to now-ex-wife Dina Lohan, he had a relationship with another woman which resulted in a pregnancy.
In a statement to OK!, Michael says, “Years later [the woman] contacted me, convincing me that I was the only person she was with and that she had my child.” (OK)

But Michael Lohan is doing the right thing and providing support for his illegitimate child right? ‘Course not!

Michael’s secret daughter has had many conversations with her dad, the girl’s mother tells OK!. He even called her for her 13th birthday on June 12. But he has never visited her or provided financial support.

And why should he? It’s not his fault the woman got pregnant. All he did was fuck her, leave it in and never call. Maybe that daughter needs start thinking about a job in showbiz. Those cocks aren’t going to suck themselves.