Fatback Media

Lily Allen lost her cool when she was followed by a paparazzo and he accidentally got into a fender bender with her. After the accident Lily jumped from her car and started punching, kicking and cursing the photographer. People are speculating that this would be a bad move by her because if the paparazzo files a report against her, she may lose her U.S. work visa and not be allowed to tour the U.S. starting in April after a handful of UK dates.

After the fight the bodyguards pulled her away and the gunless British police were heard saying, ” Isn’t this a bloody bowlful of bollocks?” You know Lily Allen has had this temper for some time now. When I was on the beach photographing her topless she flicked her cigarette butt at me and put her top back on. What gives Lily? I like tits. Is that a crime? Granted I got off easy, but I am sure this photographer isn’t too hurt. Her fluffy Uggs probably were more of a massage to this dudes ass than an actual painful kick.

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Links that think the paparazzi is public enemy #1

Katy Perry is rich- IDLYITW

Bindi Irwin is a spoiled little bitch- IBBB

Someone doesn’t like the paparazzi- Holy Moly

Lady Gaga has a penis- Drunken Stepfather

Paris Hilton is frumpy- I Don’t Want Your Life

Marissa Miller is playing topless basketball- Celeb News Wire

Even Rihanna is out partying- IDLYITW

The real Barbie dream house- Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Angelina Jolie is out on a ledge- popbytes

An American Idol star has a boyfriend- Geno’s World

Chris Brown will not be at the Kid’s Choice Awards- yeeeah

Lindsay Lohan is selfish- notorious news

Gary Busey is sober enough to roast Larry The Cable Guy- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Cute-as-button Lily Allen is always good for some drunken antics that usually end with her tits out (like my mom!) and this girl-on-girl fist fight is no different. There’s no way of knowing if this is a real fight or if Lily and this girl are really good friends or if this is Lily’s way of flirting with me. She knows how I like to see girls scratch each other to pieces. Sultry minx.

Considering that there have been three celebrity pregnancies to single moms announced in the past week or two, I believe that in Hollywood there may be a lack of information about how one becomes pregnant and what prevents pregnancy. If there is not misunderstanding, then I fail to comprehend how you’d let a pregnancy occur when

1. You are, oh I don’t know, 16 years old (Jamie-Lynn Spears)
2. You just lost a bunch of weight, look awesome, and shot your first scantily clad photo shoot (Lily Allen), or
3. You are one of the hottest actresses in the world and pregnancy could mean losing the body that your career is based on (Jessica Alba).

Now before you lecture me on how it’s totally superficial to think about pregnancy in the context of ruining a woman’s body, let me remind you that it’s not like these girls are married and planned to start a family. That’s a whole other story. But anyway, I just want to share some facts about pregnancy that may help other celebs not to become prego:

1. You can get pregnant even if you are 16. Oh and your popularity with 11 year-old Nickelodeon fans does not provide protection. Plus, if you have an insane famous sister, this makes you more prone to ruining your life as well. Get sterilized.
2. If you are a rich A-lister with an ass to die for, your boyfriend is a nobody who isn’t even that attractive and is rumored to have given you Herpes, chances are he’ll knock you up. God sometimes plays jokes like that. Make him wear two condoms.
3. When you lose 30 pounds or so and get to a healthy weight, you tend to enhance your fertility. Thus at the point that the media is making a row over your weight loss, you will need to get on and stay on the pill.

Just some fun facts, kids. Anyway, here’s some of what we very well may never see again from Jessica Alba . . .