Fatback Media

Just when you start to idolize a guy because he gets to kiss hot chicks on the big screen, they come out and say shit like kissing that hot girl in question was like kissing a distant family member. What the fuck? If I ever kissed a Hollywood starlet the last thing I would say is that kissing her was like kissing a family member. I mean that has to be an insult to the girl right? And the last time I checked girls feelings are very sensitive especially when you call them bad kissers.

Want to get a good review Kate? Kiss me. I will tell everyone that kissing you was like kissing a million little fairies that had electricity in their skin. Yea. Top that DiCaprio. Of course Leonardo only said that because he truly didn’t know what to say when questioned about kissing a girl. His honest truthful answer was, “Oh my God it was so icky. Girl lips have cooties. I like boys.” I like DiCaprio as an actor just like most people do but let’s face it, that isn’t Playboy he is beating his meat to in the bathroom. It is probably Playgirl. If Playgirl was still around. I mean, how would I know if Playgirl was still around? I don’t read that! You wanna fight? You wanna have a push up contest?

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Links that kissed a girl and they liked it

Miranda Kerr is in a bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Joaquin Phoenix still looks like a bum- yeeeah

Attention whores unite! – popbytes

Miley Cyrus is still sleazy- I Don’t Want Your Life

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are still together- notorious news

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Madonna looks fugly no matter what she does- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Hayden Panettiere is addicted to her crackberry- The Bastardly

Barack Obama has a star studded performance for his inauguration- Geno’s World

Julia Roberts says fuck like 5 times!- Allie Is Wired

TMZ reports an employee of Wolfgang Puck catering services, who recently catered the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue party, was recently diagnosed with Hepatitis A and could have possibly spread it to the attendees. Scandalous!

An urgent warning has been issued by the Health Department, warning the star-studded crowd who attended the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue party on Valentine’s Day that they may have been exposed to acute hepatitis A. The list of possibly exposed guests: Beyonce Knowles, Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend Bar Rafaeli, and dozens of ridiculously hot bikini models.

The Los Angeles County Department of Public Health confirmed that an employee of Wolfgang Puck Catering was recently diagnosed with the disease, and has strongly urged anyone who attended the SI party, or any of the 13 other events catered by Puck between Feb. 1 – 20, to get an immune globulin shot by tomorrow to prevent illness. (source)

I don’t get it? The chance of a communicable disease, a raid by Colombian gangsters, incurable case of carpet burn and a paternity test nine months down the road are the marks of every Hollywood party I’ve ever been to. And Hep A, who doesn’t have that, anymore? It’s like the country club strain of Hep diseases. I think newborns in California are just inoculated with it when they get their MMR vaccinations. I’m pretty sure it’s a law.

Hep C. Now that’s some shit you can sink you’re teeth into: tattoos, drug use, high risk sexual practices, voodoo. Ain’t no party like a Hep C party ‘cuz a Hep C party don’t quit, bitches.

I’m kidding! Don’t do drugs. And have your pets spayed or neutered. EMcrest., OUT!