Fatback Media

The Heath Ledger story is rightfully dominating celebrity news, but it’s too sad to me to talk about so I’m going in the opposite direction and adding a little levity to today’s post. Levity in the form of two of the Kardasian sisters half-dressed. Now onto my observations on pictures of Kim and Kourtney:


1) Kim has saddlebags–check out the last photo below. It’s very rare that the public sees her hips without clothing on and unphotoshopped–usually on the beach she covers up in a towel. Now she was caught in the act so to speak, and I see a little saddlebag there on the photo right!


2) Saddlebags aside, Kim has an awesome, voluptuous body. I’m pretty sure her boobs are real too, and we’ll all be seeing a lot more of them since she is one of the new models for Travis Barker’s Famous Stars and Straps clothing line.


3) I’m totally crushing on Kim’s bathingsuit! Kourtney’s? Nah, not so much.


4) It looks a little too windy to be out on the beach in Miami. Oh wait, how else to better draw paparazzi attention than in very little clothing, i.e. bathing suits? Okay, now I get it, ladies!

While I gained five pounds binging on desserts and shit over the holidays, Hollywood girls found more productive uses for their time:

Jennifer Love Hewitt volunteered at an L.A. Soup Kitchen preparing meals for the homeless, and looking quite cute with Santa I may add. Meanwhile, Nicky Hilton was showing off her bronzed, bony body on vacation with her family in Maui. Note Paris’ beach get-up which I’m certain came from a vintage shop circa 1988. Nicolette Sheridan was also at a beach on Christmas–she and boyfriend Michael Bolton hung out in St. Barts where she showed the paparazzi she was no Jennifer Love Hewitt. Seriously, the woman is nearly 45 and looks friggin’ incredible! Finally, Kim Kardashian did some holiday shopping with Reggie Bush who will be just another “friend” who she gets mad about at the media for portraying her as sleeping with. No worries, KK–we know that you just have a lot of male friends and that the only guy you’ve had sex with is Ray-J. Yeah right.

Here Kim Kardashian proudly stands next to the cover of her December Playboy issue at its release party last night. The real marvel here is not Kim’s voluptuous body displayed in the mag, but the fact that her fierce fight to prove she is more than a dirty rich girl on a sex tape has led her to the brilliant decision to pose NUDE in Playboy. I mean is the best way to send your whore image into a 180 tailspin really to show your boobs and hoo-ha in a national magazine?

Or Am I just old fashioned and missing the point that would be indicative of the Apocalypse–that Playboy is a PR vehicle used to clean up an image?!? Wow, the times they are a-changin. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a newsstand to get to . . . I mean do want to see Kim naked!

PS. Here are some of the nude Kim Kardashian pics from Crave.

Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

Last night the Kardashian family of B (C? D?)-listers came out to play at the premier party for their new E! network show, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” The amount of siblings between Kris Kardashian and Bruce Jenner is astounding. While watching the previews that E! has been inundated it viewers with, I was unable to count all the siblings. Also, while watching the previews, I know that I will not be watching this show.

The bunch is an interesting looking family . . . and I don’t mean that in a flattering way. Not all of the clan attended the party, but let me introduce you to those who did, from left to right.

First Amazon Kardashian or perhaps Amazon Jenner. I’m not sure whose kid she is, but she’s big enough to crush you between her thighs. And something tells me Amazonia is insanely jealous of soon-t0-be Playboy model sister Kim.

Next is Daddy Jenner. He seems to be suffering from the “Kenny Rogers Syndrome,” i.e. perpetually surprised-looking due to a bad face lift.

Ah, then Kimmie, media darling, and the purpose and focus of the upcoming show. I just can’t like this girl. She’s famous because Paris Hilton is her BFF, she’s filthy rich due to her dead lawyer Daddy who defended O.J., and she made a nasty sex tape which only boosted her popularity. Yuck on all three counts.

Anyway, then there’s Mama Kardashian who looks like she’s put her dead hubby’s money to good use and found a great plastic surgeon. The woman does not look like she popped out 5 kids–or however many are hers.

Kardashian Siblings X and Y look sweet enough, but I’m sure that after their reality “fame,” some rehab or at least a DUI is in their future . . .

I, for one, will not be “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” Hell no.

R&B star and Kim Kardashian sex tape co-star (?) Ray J has dreams of becoming Mayor of Carson California, not a huge stretch considering Ahnold is the guvnah and Sonny Bono was a member of Congress. Except, Ray J is a naughty, naughty boy and his sex tape controversy may be keeping him out of office.

The singer/actor has huge political ambitions and his leaked sex tape, in which he cavorted with socialite Kim Kardashian, wrecked his bid to become Carson’s mayor this year (07) - but he isn’t giving up. He tells Sister 2 Sister magazine, “I might do it at the next election and let all of this controversy die down and then hit them harder.”

“I want people to look at other things besides rapping and singing… Young people 18 and older don’t vote. When I get people to start voting and start uplifting themselves in the political side of life… I’m making a change in the world. “I’m going to keep going. I’m going for president of the United States of America.” (source)

Ahh hahaha, ‘hit them harder’. That’s what she said. Seriously though, I’m all for electing porn stars to public offices. John Holmes can be the Thruster of the House. Linda Lovelace can play Bush. And Elisha Cuthbert can be the Fist Lady. (Okay I know she isn’t a porn star, but she played one once and that’s basically the same thing.) Sessions of Congress would really just be consecutive days of orgies and the State of the Union addresses would be broadcasts of classic hits like Ally McFeal, Nightmare on Dyke Street and Dial A for Anal. Holy shit, the ideas are rolling! Where’s my pen??

Oh. Umm. We at FB&C acknowledge free love and its consequences so before you tag it, bag it. No glove, no love. And so on. Holla!