Fatback Media » Kelly Brook

Kelly Brook Hates Germs

fatback — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 04:34:00 +0000

I don’t know where to start with this one, kids. First, Kelly Brook is ridiculously pretty but her dress looks like the one my “confirmed bachelorette” great aunt Lucille used to wear at the pool when I was kid. She sure could throw a baseball. The shoes are hot but what’s up with GD gloves, Howard Hughes? If she was going for Old Hollywood chic, she failed. She looks like she works in a lab with the guy from SAW III. If Kelly Brook came at me naked with those gloves on, I’d be checking the floor for a plastic drop cloth and scanning for exits. Also, in pic 2, apparently Kelly Brook is seven feet tall. But I think can still take her.

More naked Kelly Brook than you can shake a stick at and some helpful links for you slackers.

You Failed.

fatback — Fri, 02 May 2008 04:35:45 +0000

This is Kelly Brook, whom you may not recognize here because she’s usually in a bikini and/or naked and for some reason she’s dressed like someone’s mom. Maybe she thinks she’s so hot that she can wear clothes circa Magnum PI and pull it off. Maybe she thinks dressing like my mom is the way to my heart. Well it’s not Kelly. Not even if you were driving a green reliant K car and smoking a Kool menthol.

Kelly Brook is Single

fatback — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:51:33 +0000

Kelly Brook just broke up with Billy Zane. While, I’m saddened by the fact that Billy will now have to serve Satan for eternity because his deal has expired, mostly I’m just saying, holyfuckyes!.

The 28-year-old former Big Breakfast presenter has decided she is too young to marry.

Billy, 42, is now moving back to Los Angeles for good after moving out of their £1million farmhouse in Kent.

A source told The Sun: “After much soul-searching, Kelly decided that Billy is not the man she wants to marry and has called off the engagement. (Daily Mail)

Now if you please, Kelly and I would appreciate your prayers and a little privacy while we break some biblical taboos.

Oh, if you’ve forgotten what Kelly Brook looks like naked you can look into my bedroom. Or Go here (NSFW)

Kelly Brook has lingerie

Trapper — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 13:57:31 +0000

Kelly Brook is one of those UK girls with big tits who are famous for having big tits and getting naked, but the problem is that Kelly Brook is now so famous in the UK, that she really doesn’t have to get naked anymore. She just goes around to places selling her crappy line of perfume and bikinis. Or her lingerie like she did at a New Look Store yesterday. It really becomes a problem when Brook can’t even be bothered to model any of it and hires models. At least I think they’re models. The one on the far right is kinda hot, but I’m almost positive the one in red was born a man. And I’m not sure the tall one is even human. I don’t know what she did after the show but there’s a good chance that her to do list may have include “terrorize villagers.”