Even though in this picture she looks like a haggard $3 whore, don’t appearances deceive you. Katie Holmes is one rich little bitch. According to the Telegraph, she dumped almost $14 million in 6 months since moving to New York for Broadways All My Sons. Now the UK magazine goes into great detail about how Katie has spent on clothes, lofts and most of all Suri. But it doesn’t exactly say where this money is coming from.

All of this leads me to one conclusion, Katie Holmes is possibly the most talented gold digger in Hollywood/New York. I mean that Dawson’s Creek money ran out a long time ago. And since then she has been in about 3 b-list movies. Now here she is whoring it up on All My Sons. Basically the conclusion is that she is spending like mad because it is not her money she is spending. I am not sure what the latest Forbes estimates on how much money Tom Cruise has are, but let’s put it this way, enough. Congrats Katie you will spend a lot of rich happy years with Tom and I hope your little ankle biter will grow up to be a bigger gold digger than you. If that is possible.

[ Images via ]

Source

Katie Holmes is a smokin’ hot girl. And when she was in her hey day back when she was starring on Dawson’s Creek she was probably considered one of the hottest girls in Hollywood. But as she got older, her hair got shorter, her movie roles dried up and now she is married to some one who most people in Hollywood and nation wide consider to be mentally unfit.

And she is not getting any younger. She just celebrated her 30th birthday on the stage which she performs All My Sons. Tom Cruise arrange to have a huge birthday cake brought out to her and the audience all sung Happy Birthday to her. How…creepy. According to US magazine they also “celebrated” before Cruise left NY to head back to L.A. Ooooh. What does “celebrated” mean? Did they have hot old people sex in the shower with a seat? Probably not. Katie probably spent the night in the bathroom popping her oral herpees blisters and Tommy sat crying in the bedroom because he misses the days when he could come out of the closet at any time. He is kind of bogged down now.

Source

Tom Cruise is the master of ceremonies. He proved that when he married Katie Holmes in a beautiful castle somewhere in Ireland or Scotland or some shit. when he heard that Speidi eloped in a private and small ceremony in Cabos San Lucas, he was appalled. He had this to say to Spencer about the wedding, ” If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta do the wedding. It’s a special occasion, and she’ll remember it forever. Spencer…dude…you’ll realize this later.

Yea. Spencer. Dude. Wake up. This is Tom Cruise we are talking about. He knows how to put on a show. So you know what this will mean. You will have to re-wed Heidi Montag in an American wedding with an American priest so it will be legal. Oh and you better use a scientology priest too. Or else TomKat will bad mouth your wedding until the day you die. Lesson learned.

Source

Most people on Thanksgiving stay indoors with family and stuff themselves with turkey. This Thanksgiving TomKat did nothing of the sort. Instead they went out to the Big Apple Circus in NYC with the Beckhams. Afterwards they took a tour of central park, like they have never been there before, and took a horse and carriage ride through the property.

It must be nice to be as rich as TomKat and the Beckhams. While I was inside eating Wal-Mart turkey and smoking cigarettes they were taking a fucking horse carriage ride in NYC. This isn’t the time of year for envy though. Instead I will feel sorry for Jada Pikett Smith. Some people think she is a talented actress, but all I see in a post op transexual. Seriously, I bet Samantha Ronson hit on her until Will Smith walked over and shoved his tongue down her throat complete with adam’s apple. OK I am gonna go throw up now.

Source

Katie Holmes is pissed. New York Post reports that a young virgin has changed her name to Katee Holmes and will be starting a porn career, in which she will lose her virginity in her first film. Get it? Katie, Katee? Duh.

“It’s a really cheap shot,” a rep for the actress, who’s married to Tom Cruise, told Page Six. But Shy Love, an adult film vet who manages the 5-foot-9, 122-pound Katee – a small-town girl from Illinois – insisted: “Katee is using the name as a tribute to Katie, who has always portrayed an innocence in everything she’s done, beginning with ‘Dawson’s Creek.’ ”

“I know it’s pretty extreme to lose my virginity on camera, but I like the fulfillment and excitement I get from watching porn, so I figured [a movie] was the best place for me to lose it,” the not-that-innocent Katee said. “How many people wished they could relive their first experience, if not to remember it but to learn from it, right?” (source)

Man, what a whore. But guys love whores. I think the’re taken aside at an early age and shown cheap porn mags like Cheri, or Oui, forever conditioning them to hit on the cheapest, sluttiest girl in the bar. That being said, it’s like Katee stole the idea right out of my goddamned head. No doubt you will be lined up to see this nubile, young thing lose her love flower, wishing you were the one giving her the bulging love stick. What the fuck did I just say? Anyway, instead, you are crying, realizing you just lost your virginity to the 19 year-old hag babysitter who punched you in the face as she called you the wrong name. Then she made you get her McDonalds. Sucked to be you. Loser. More Katee. I mean Katie. I mean Kate.

Jennifer Lopez is considering the doctrine of Scientology to help her conceive. Superhot Socialite’s Life has the deets…

The MAID IN MANHATTAN star, who recently attended the Italian wedding of top celebrity Scientologist TOM CRUISE, is reportedly taking tips from actress LEAH REMINI, who used the religion’s doctrines when she was trying to conceive her first child. According to American publication Life + Style, Lopez became interested in Scientology when Remini confided in her that the religion helped her conceive. An insider tells the publication, “She’s starting to understand the cleansing process. It’s all about putting the positive energy where you want it.” The source insists Lopez and her husband MARC ANTHONY are unlikely to join the church because he’s a devout Catholic, but “he’s willing to let Jen do what she needs to make things happen.” (From Contact Music Via source)

I think Mark Anthony may not want to join Scientology because they may find out that he made his way into this world by punching a hole through someone’s chest and crawling out. I’ve seen prettier faces on medical cadavers. Eeek. I don’t “get” Scientology. I usually cleanse myself with the positive energy of a strappy pair of Jimmy Choos and a deep tissue massage (with release) using a stolen credit card.  But not yours. We’re friends like that.
 

Tom Cruise worries Katie is a fat, fat water rat and she should spend her days in the gym rather than nursing and coddling their wonder daughter, Suri. Lazy.

It seems Tom Cruise has a new mission these days — helping Katie Holmes reclaim her former hardbodied physique. According to sources close to the couple, Tom has become “very concerned” about her appearance these days, and has become directly involved with Katie’s workout regimen as a result.

According to sources, Tom is willing to do whatever it takes so his bride-to-be “looks the best that she can walking next to him down the aisle.”

In addition to joining her strenuous workout sessions, Tom also makes sure that Katie’s strict workout schedule is not interrupted by personally booking babysitters for the kids. (source)

So, Tom will do whatever it takes for Katie to look her best, which I’ll bet includes fellating summoning the spirits of the beyond to purge Katie’s body of the wicked toxins causing her slow weight loss after SHE JUST HAD A BABY. Damnit Katie! Why can’t you be a super-human, omnipresent phenomenon like your future husband? Lazy bitch.Tom Cruise for President Galactic Emperor2008 and beyond. I like how Katie is 90 lbs in that picture but she needs to lose weight. What a fat, fatty.