Fatback Media

Jessica Simpson might be stalking John Mayer. Apparently, her flagging singing/acting/socialiting career has left her chasing pasty white boys. Good thing she has a great rack to keep her alive. Hollywood rulez.

A guest at the Sunset Marquis in West Hollywood said that on Monday morning John Mayer was yelling into his phone: “He said ‘Jess’ a bunch of times, so I would think he was talking to Jessica Simpson. He looked wiped out, circles under his eyes, and some pal was grabbing him coffee while he was having this fight over the phone. There was a lot I couldn’t hear, but at the end before he hung up, he told her to stop calling, stop texting, stop all of it – leave me alone! He was shaking his head back and forth like, ‘God, make her stop,’ and his friend was sort of chuckling at him.” (source)

Far be it for us to doubt a source, but I’m not so sure about this one. Anyway, let’s assume that this (like all  the other shit we publish) is true. John could just be saying all that just to start gossip. He’s banged every hot chick in Hollywood. It’s not like he’s desperate.

So, how does John looking “wiped out” differ from every other day of the week?? He looks like he’s one transfusion away from full on cadaver. Ok, I haven’t actually seen a cadaver in person. But on CSI Miami that one time…you know, the one where they found the body in the weird place and Horatio made that snappy quip while taking his sunglasses off  just before the opening music?  That was my favorite episode. EVER.