Fatback Media

A lot of people are sick about hearing the details of Jennifer Aniston’s love life on a daily basis. But I am not. The only thing I am sick of hearing about is her current relationship with Brad Pitt and basically anything having to do with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Because they are snobs. Rumors are not circulating that Jen Aniston’s on again/off again relationship with John Mayer is in fact off again. 

“He broke up with her when she got back from her European tour.” A pal said to Eonline. There was no actual reason for the break up which is typical when you are dealing with rumors and secret sources. I think all major tabloids should print first and last names of all people they get rumors from. While Aniston will keep herself busy during the break up promoting her straight to dvd films, Mayer will be in the music studio recording his next cd. I am on John’s side during all of this because he is a killer musician and some killer tattoos. Maybe that is the answer for Aniston. Get a tattoo. John’s name across your chest so you will think twice before ending the relationship. Yes, that and a ban on all major clothing. Not only will wearing no clothing feel liberating, but it will encourage many eligible to come your way. I am available. Face it, you like the idea. You want it.

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Source

Jessica Simpson might be stalking John Mayer. Apparently, her flagging singing/acting/socialiting career has left her chasing pasty white boys. Good thing she has a great rack to keep her alive. Hollywood rulez.

A guest at the Sunset Marquis in West Hollywood said that on Monday morning John Mayer was yelling into his phone: “He said ‘Jess’ a bunch of times, so I would think he was talking to Jessica Simpson. He looked wiped out, circles under his eyes, and some pal was grabbing him coffee while he was having this fight over the phone. There was a lot I couldn’t hear, but at the end before he hung up, he told her to stop calling, stop texting, stop all of it – leave me alone! He was shaking his head back and forth like, ‘God, make her stop,’ and his friend was sort of chuckling at him.” (source)

Far be it for us to doubt a source, but I’m not so sure about this one. Anyway, let’s assume that this (like all  the other shit we publish) is true. John could just be saying all that just to start gossip. He’s banged every hot chick in Hollywood. It’s not like he’s desperate.

So, how does John looking “wiped out” differ from every other day of the week?? He looks like he’s one transfusion away from full on cadaver. Ok, I haven’t actually seen a cadaver in person. But on CSI Miami that one time…you know, the one where they found the body in the weird place and Horatio made that snappy quip while taking his sunglasses off  just before the opening music?  That was my favorite episode. EVER.