Fatback Media

There are a lot of pictures of Jessica Alba frolicking on the beach with her douche bag boyfriend, or husband, who cares, Cash Warren. But these are the best ones. It is a shame she isn’t giving us a skintight undercarriage shot like she has in the past, but I will definitely settle for these.

Some people on Monday “get a case of the Mondays” but these definitely perked me right up stronger than a double shot of espresso. I just hope this Cash guy is appreciative of the piece of ass he has managed to pull in. If I were dating Jessica Alba, I would kneel down in front of a crucifix every night and cry and pray and thank God at least two dozen times a night. And then when Jessica would enter the room and ask me what I was doing I would turn to her, still on my knees, and wave my arms up and down and say “I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!”

Photo cred: Splash News

Links that prefer a nude beach

Jessica Simpson is drunk. Yay!- IDLYITW

Jordan has a new slut- Allie Is Wired

Jennifer Love Hewitt is dumpy- Drunken Stepfather

Katy Perry bikini pictures- yeeeah

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Miranda Kerr is in a bikini too- IDLYITW

God. Damn. Jessica Alba somehow managed to get hotter two months after having her baby girl Honor Marie. There’s just something better about her. I can’t put my finger on it. Also, her baby just got paid.

TMZ has learned Honor Marie Warren, celebuspawn of Jessica Alba and hubby Cash Warren, is now $1.5 million richer thanks to OK! Magazine.

We’re hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other “event” — Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved. (TMZ)

I guess you could look at it as a nice college fund, although that baby girl will never see a day of strife in her privileged, genetically superior life. My mom started a college fund for me when I was baby. Well actually she just stuck a pack of Kool’s in my Huggies Pull-ups and forgot about them. Eventually, I learned how to go potty by myself and she found them again. “Good times”, she said, “set for the day.”

God damn Jessica Alba. I guess you can’t complain when one of the hottest chicks on the planet gets a fresh set of Giant Boobies, so I won’t. But pregnant girls kinda creep me out. They’re like pandas, they’re cute from far away but when you get close they just look freaky and might maul your face.

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