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Hot damn. It just doesn’t get any better than this. In the same day both Lindsay Lohan AND J Love come back on the market. Not that I am all that thrilled about Jennifer Love Hewitt being single again. Ever since those cellulite photos her career has pretty much gone downhill from there. Here are some pictures of her stuffing her fat face. Some girls can eat all they want and not gain any weight. Kind of like super woman Paris Hilton. But with others, it goes straight to their thighs.

As we look at the future Rosie O’DonnellJ Love let us reflect on the many possibilities of her bachelorhood. She will more than likely turn to food to comfort her. She will get some bad press and then lose the weight to regain good press. She will probably have a little rebound sex and when that happens I will write about it. She will then find someone who wants to “settle down.” And usually when a guy hears the words “settle down” it means it is a fairly easy way to get in her pants. All it takes is three words. I love you.After that it’s bang time baby. Then she will gain weight. Lose weight. And then maybe she will finally find a decent guy out there who knows how to hide a camera and thn we will have a sex tape. I just hope the filming takes place on her “fit” days and not some massive jiggly skinned cellulite monster bobbing up and down on a guys cock.

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The City recap- IBBB

Zhang Ziyi is topless- Drunken Stepfather

Sanjaya is releasing a book and a cd- Allie Is Wired

Jenny McCarthy in a bikini- yeeeah

Rihanna is engaged- popbytes

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Courtney Love looks freaky- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Aubrey O’Day is heading to Playboy- Geno’s World

Bianca Beauchamp in her bedroom- Attu World

You’d think Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards would be a pedophile’s dream, yet it seems that the event was mostly filled with geriatrics . . . you know, the 25+ crowd. I mean you had your usual teenage suspects Miley Cyrus and Hayden Panettiere in attendance–by the way, nice ass shot for the kids, Hayden!–but you also had Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Love Hewitt and her Hips, and a very pregnant Jessica Alba. And speaking of Jessica Alba, is she there as a role model for 8 year olds who aspire to become pregnant before marriage? Well, I guess she is a better choice than Jamie Lynn Spears. Also, when you check out the pics from the Kids’ Choice Awards, notice Rihanna’s strange, strange face. She looks like a goddamn Star Trek character if you ask me . . .

My sentiments exactly, Katherine Heigl! I’d be freaked out upon seeing this lot of ladies as well. Seriously what is up with the clones?!? They are like Robert Palmer’s b’yatches in that old “Addicted to Love” video, only these are blonde and cheery instead of somber and robotic. Still and all, that shit freaks me out.

But what really freaks me out is how much money Katherine Heigl’s movie character theorectically would have had to have spent as a bridesmaid to have been in 27 weddings. Weddings ain’t cheap. Even for the most heinous bridesmaid dress you can pay a good $250, and that’s on the low side. Then factor in throwing a bridal shower, buying a gift for that, buying a wedding gift, and buying clothes for the entire weekend of never-ending events. So, figure on $1,000. And yet the new film “27 Dresses” wants us to believe that their main character has been a bridesmaid in 27 weddings. Listen, if someone is insane enough to be okay with spending upwards of $27,000 to be in their friends’ weddings you don’t have to think too hard about why that person is always a bridesmaid and never a bride.

Anyway, some hot girlies showed up at Katherine Heigl’s big premier night . . . and some not-so-hot ones. You can judge who is who . . .