Fatback Media » Jennifer Garner

Jennifer Garner Had A Puppy

Tom O — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 19:46:58 +0000

Oh happy days are here! No not because Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have extended their family. Because Jennifer Garner will look hot in a bikini again! As of Tuesday night Ben and Jen have become parents, again. Of course no one in the family had any official comment on the birth of the baby. All we know now is that it is a little girl. Ben isn’t the most media savvy person you could meet and Jennifer just looks like one of those battered housewives.

I am sure in due time they will get their baby pics on the cover of Us magazine or People or something and get a cool million or more for doing so. I really dig Jennifer, so it kind of irks me that they didn’t release the baby’s name yet. I am sure it will no be as Mowgli or some shit. But it wouldn’t hurt to have ONE Hollywood family that actually thought up a normal name for their baby. Either way, the kid is kind of screwed because any which way you go, the kids last name will still be Affleck. And that shit is just embarrassing.

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Source

Links that use the morning after pill

Paula Abdul is scary- IBBB

Do you want Katy Perry’s phone number? – Allie Is Wired

Jessica Alba’s mom. Possibly the fugliest mom ever! – Drunken Stepfather

Madge’s vadge. Gross. – yeeeah

Lily allen is a cokehead- d-listed

Amy Winehouse is still at the beach- The Bastardly

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Cindy Crawford bans Hanna Montanna. If only more parents would do this. – Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Best.Bag.Ever. – Geno’s World

Laptop without a keyboard. Pointless. – Attu World

Carmen Electra is kinky- notorious news

Jennifer Garner Has A Stalker

Tom O — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:32:55 +0000

For the past several years Jennifer Garner has had a stalker. He has been sending her obsessive and threatening letters in the mail and following her from coast to coast. I would like to know how he can afford to do that? I have been stalking celebrities for years and usually when they get dropped off at the airport I have to go back to my apartment and hopelessly masturbate to their pictures.

I just can’t afford the air fair. Now that Southwest airlines offers coach seats for $69 dollars, I may be able to keep up my habbits. Watch out J-Lo. As a result from all the annoying behavior, Jennifer Garner has gotten a restraining order from the stalker Steven Burky and he has to stay 100 yards away from Jen, Ben Affleck, their child Violet and the nanny. Hang in there Steven. That restraining order will expire in a few months so keep your cameras memory card empty.

Source

Links that make you cream your jeans

George Cloony has a tupe- Allie Is Wired

Who won America’s Next Top Model? – IBBB

Jennifer Ellison is topless- Drunken Stepfather

Madge is one rich bitch- notorious news

Winona Ryder went to the hospital- d-listed

Lesbian fantasy match up- The Bastardly

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Pamela Anderson wants marijuana to be legalized- Geno’s World

Katy Perry is ugly- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Jen Garner isn’t the only one with a stalker- I Don’t Want Your Life

Jennifer Garner is Not Getting Divorced?

fatback — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 04:35:15 +0000

So the hotties over at cele|bitchy got official word from Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck thatthey are indeed staying together and “100%” not getting a divorce. At least not until I show Jennifer my sexy dance moves. [ps. look at that question mark! It's like you don't know if the story is true, but you're asking if it is. Amazing!]

Jennifer Garner is Getting Divorced?

fatback — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:33:28 +0000

Looks like Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck might be heading for a breakup. Apparently because the married couple are not seen together very much the speculation is that they are breaking up. It’s that or, they both have jobs and maybe they’re just gone sometimes during the day. COINCIDENCE??? [ed note: Can you believe that headline? I know, right? I should work for the Post or some shit]

Terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt has come my way. Sources insist to me that Jennifer Garner is considering splitting up from her hubby, Ben Affleck. Say it ain’t so, baby-cakes! Nevertheless, waiting on comment now from both parties. Could this be the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately, rarely as one happy family unit? Perhaps. And certainly, those who know the former Alias star well insist Ben’s mama has never particularly cared for the gal who broke Michael Vartan’s heart to hook up with Benny-Boy in the first place. (E!)

So, is Ben Affleck’s mom a big Alias fan or is she calling Jennifer Garner a whore? Because if my mom called my girl a whore, I’d want to see some proof like some plastic clear high heels, or a lower back tattoo, or her sucking some guy’s cock in front of me. I’m, thorough like that.