Fatback Media

Jessica Simpson recently celebrated her boyfriend (QB for the Dallas Cowboys) Tony Romo’s  birthday at a club called Suite, in Dallas. From the looks of it, it is actually a hotel suite in Dallas.

The affectionate pair showed up at Suite, an exclusive nightspot, to celebrate Romo’s 28th birthday a few days early. (His actual birthday is Monday, April 21.)

The get-together included a blue, star-shaped, No. 9 birthday cake – a nod to the Dallas Cowboys star’s jersey number – champagne, and lots of dancing at the crowded club.

At one point in the evening, Simpson got on the mic and sang “Happy Birthday” to her beau – then they started feeding each other cake. (PEOPLE)

OF COURSE she sang happy birthday. Why wouldn’t she make his birthday all about her? “HAPPA- BUTH DAAAA TUUUUH YUUUHHH…I said uh, HAPPA- BUTH DAAAA TUUUUH YUUUHHH.”

Check out the hot chick in the black dress firing mind bullets at Jessica. Jealous much?

Sophie Monk is hot in that I’d hit it, but somethin’ ain’t right kinda way. And I think I figured it out. She has noassitol. A dreaded condition where perfectly hot girls stop eating carbs and diet their way right out of a nice onion shaped bandonk. Girlfriend need some fried chicken.

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This is Ashley Alexandra Dupré, aka Kristen the expensive escort that Eliot Spitzer got in so much trouble over. From the NYTimes:

She left a broken home on the Jersey Shore at 17 and came to New York City to work the nightclubs as a rhythm and blues singer. Now, at 22, she is the unwitting, and as yet unseen, star of the seamy drama that is the downfall of Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York.

According to her MySpace page (now gone) she left NJ at 17 because of abuse and hardship to pursue a music career and a better life.

I am all about my music, and my music is all about me… It flows from what I’ve been through, what I’ve seen and how I feel. I live in New York and am on top of the world. Been here since 2004 and I love this city, I love my life here. But, my path has not been easy. When I was 17, I left home. It was my decision and I’ve never looked back. Left my hometown. Left a broken family. Left abuse. Left an older brother who had already split. Left and learned what it was like to have everything, and lose it, again and again. Learned what it was like to wake up one day and have the people you care about most gone. I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own. I am here, in NY because of my music.

There are two issues here. First, you can’t blame Eliot Spitzer (who’s 49) for wanting to bang a tight 22 year old girl who likes to party till the sun comes up. He was just arrogant, got careless and got caught. Second, why does everyone feel sorry for Ashley Alexandra Dupré? She’s not wasted youth or good girl gone wrong, she’s a fucking hero. She grew up poor, in an abusive home and now she makes $1000.00 an hour, travels the world and lives like a celebrity. She’s like the white Oprah… except she gets laid a lot more. It is the oldest profession, just ask Jesus!

Snippypants update: Well I guess Ashley got around to deleting her MySpace adn someone else has already made a new on with her name. I think its Jesus from Drunken Stepfather. You rogue…