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It is probably unanimous amongst a lot of people that Hilary Duff is one of the cutest people on this planet. That is why I am so excited about her coming back to the small screen. She is basically Miley Cyrus 1.0. She was a goody goody teen actress that now does very sexual and sensual music videos for her somewhat successful musical career. No word yet on what the name of the show will be, but I hope it features her in a bikini.

In my own personal opinion. It should be in the 30 Rock time slot. Because 30 Rock sucks. Though, I doubt this new show will be a comedy. Comedy isn’t really Hilary Duff’s strongsuit. Sexy is. When asked about the new series Hilary said, ” Television series? Oh you mean the thing where they point cameras at me and I smile and look cute and sexy. I think it starts $50,000 per episode. I mean February.”

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Jamie Lynn Sigler is still hot- Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

More proof that The Hills is scripted- IBBB

What the fuck is wrong with Hayden Panettiere’s face? - I Don’t Want Your Life

Angeina Jolie is quitting acting- notorious news

Hot chicks in bikinis! - The Bastardly

Kanye West was arrested- d-listed

Spencer Pratt is religous- Geno’s World

Paula Abdul’s stalker was ugly. But she did have a nice rack. - Drunken Stepfather

Hilary Duff’s parents were in court this week and the divorce trial got so heated that Hilary’s father Bob was led out in handcuffs to the gasps of Hilary’s mom, Susan.

At the hearing, Susan took the stand to ask for $25,000 to fund a present and party for Hilary’s 21st birthday, which is Sept. 28. It’s the same sum she and her husband spent on a ring and a party for Haylie when she turned 21 a few years ago, she said.

The $10,000 her husband pays her in interim support each month is “not even enough to pay my own bills” and certainly not enough to afford such expensive birthday treats, Susan testified. She said she has to rely on Hilary for financial help to pay her lawyers and other bills.

In his cross-examination, Piro asked Susan if her “adult millionaire daughter” would be upset if she did not receive an expensive gift and party for her birthday. Susan replied that her daughter “is emotionally upset by the abandonment of her father” and deserves “to have some kind of recognition for a young life well-lived.”

Piro asked her where she thought Bob would get the money, and Susan replied he could get it from the same place he got money to buy presents for his girlfriend’s sons.

“I know he’s a millionaire, and he’s got the funds,” she said.

When Bob took the stand a few minutes later, Brown asked him if he wanted Hilary to receive a comparable gift to Haylie for her 21st birthday.

“Yes,” Bob replied.

“You’re not mad at Hilary, are you?” Brown asked.

Bob hesitated, and Brown withdrew the question.

Stansbury eventually ordered Bob to pay $12,500 to Susan for Hilary’s birthday.(CHRON)

It’s always sad to see a family torn apart by divorce. Not only is it a strain on the parent’s emotional health, but the children…wait. Everyone involved in this case is a fucking millionaire. So fuck them. And fuck their million dollar attorneys, too. When my parents got divorced all my dad left my mom was a black eye and empty space where our mobile home used to sit. The court issued my mom an SOL order (shit outta luck) and told her to suck it up. But looking back I guess I should have really pushed for the $25K on my birthday. Maybe then it wouldn’t have been all my fault like mommy said. In my defense I did tell dad he could do much better and he should think about taking a mistress. What was up with the giant curlers and sweat pants 24/7, mom? Jesus. Oh, and when did Hilary Duff get smokin’ hot?

It must be sweltering in the room because this celeb has a water bottle and a glass of water in front of her and still her chest is glistening! With regard to the “heaving,” okay, fine, so the chest isn’t heaving exactly, but once you know that these breasts belong to Hilary Duff, you realize it’s all relative. I mean the girl hardly ever shows cleavage, but yesterday she treated the press to her cute chest in Sao Paulo at the press conference for her “Dignity” tour. And that tour is aptly named. When Hilary’s skank ex Joel Madden started dating equally skank Nicole Richie like four days after they broke up, Hilary handled it beautifully. Even when Joel knocked up Nicole after two months or so of dating, Hilary didn’t rake them over the coals in the press, pick up a smack habit, or shave her head. The girl does have dignity and class . . . and the last laugh. I mean, she’s totally hot and Nicole Richie has to worry about losing baby weight. Then again, that’s nothing that a little blow can’t cure for Nicole.

These are dangerous times for blonde-haired, white-bread celebs. Britney has proven herself to be certifiably crazy, Jessica Simpson only makes headlines for losing weight, and the other Simpson seemingly doesn’t exist now that her physical transformation is complete. On the other hand, Jessica Alba currently corners the market on hot, Rihanna is in every single magazine and billboard this summer, and Gabrielle Garcelle Beauvais is rocking the cover and a spread in Playboy this month. Gone are the blondes, and in are a crop of gorgeously ethnic women. This is not good news for flaxen-haired Miss Lennox at all.

Shape magazine has also hopped on the exotic craze and figured out a way to appeal to both the demographics of their readership and the zeigeist that craves curvy, bronzed beauties. With a little Photoshop magic, they take like, OMG, white chick Hilary Duff and Beyoncify her in their current issue. Ethnic Hilary is certainly spicy and Miss Lennox loves it! But to make her a little less vanilla, Shape’s Photo Editor could have gone the extra mile and used the Pen Tool to give Hil some Shakira hips.

God y’all, I suddenly feel the strong urge to go for a spray tan.

Emily here. TGI Fucking Friday! Hilary Duff and boyfriend Joel Madden have recently filed for a restraining order against two alleged stalkers (and this time it’s not me!) Duff is claiming it has escalated to a level in which she fears for her life and has requested the men stay at least 100 yards away.

Hilary Duff claims in court documents that she fears for her life, alleging she and her boyfriend are being stalked by two men — one a paparazzi and the other a homeless man.

TMZ has obtained court documents filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, in which Duff and Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden claim that a 19-year-old Russian emigre came to the United States “for the sole purpose of meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff.”

The court documents state the man, whose first name is Max, “admitted to being ‘obsessed’ with her, has stated his intention of ‘removing’ his ‘enemies’ (i.e., those who prevent him from being with her), has stated his intention of purchasing a weapon, and has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention.”(source)

I don’t know what Hilary’s so uptight about; a stranger willing to die in an attempt to win her affection is flattery at its peak! Ask any southern girl. And, that’s just par for the course at the Chateau d’Emily. So many injuries sustained by suitors falling out of the tree outside my bedroom window. I guess I could close the blinds when I do my naked Pilates, but then I would miss out on all those nice people just dying to meet me. There’s nothing like a love confession from a man (or woman!) hanging from a tree, wearing nothing but a long gray trench coat, army boots and a smile to bolster a girl’s ego. That’s not crazy baby, that’s love. How do you think I met my current boyfriend? Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s almost visiting hours.

Oh, for you Pervy McCrotchrubber’s, here are more pictures of Hilary with Hayden Panettiere sucking on a lollipop and being too goddamn young for you. Perv.