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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are going all the way for Halloween this week and new they could steal the headlines back from Jon and Kate Gosselin by dressing up as them. I personally think this is a hysterical costume idea and the fact that they are lugging over a dozen baby dolls with them makes the costumes even funnier.

But seriously, they may be peering into their future. They are married and what most people do after they get married is have kids but I guess they are both too big of attention whores to give attention to another small life in this world. However, Heidi has said in the past that not only does she want kids some day but that she actually wants to have multiple kids. If they fuck around and use in vitro fertilization then they may just have sextuplets like Kate Gosselin. Big props to Speidi for this costume idea. It may be topped on Halloween eve but I am giving them the costume of the year so far.

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The salaries of all the stars on MTV’s The Hills has leaked to the public. I Don’t quite understand the obsession with the show except that a lot of losers out there like to live vicariously through the stars and think if they are watching hot chicks going to clubs in Hollywood with tons of money, that must mean that they are hot chicks going to clubs in Hollywood with lots of money. I know. Crazy right?

Not that they are worthy of their fat paychecks but it is being reported that Kristin Cavallari makes $90,000 per episode, Spencer Pratt makes $65,000 per episode (haha), and Audrina Patridge makes $100,000. This has kind of makes me wonder how much Lauren Conrad was being paid when she was still on the show. Since then her star has dropped and she is lucky I am even mentioning her name because she doesn’t need any press because she is not doing anything.

And oh yea, Heidi Montag or Heidi Pratt or whatever the fuck she is calling herself these days makes $100,000 an episode just like Audrina. Neither have talent so I can understand why they make so much. That is the key on MTV. No talent= big bucks. I am much more interested in Audrina Patridge naked however so I hope they cut her salary so she will do a Playboy photo shoot. A REAL one. None of this hype and then no nipple like Heidi. I have my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for this. But let’s face it. As long as losers are sitting in their home eating ice cream and then purging said ice cream to keep a slim figure so they can look more like the people on The Hills, Audrina and the others will always have a  job.

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So this is Heidi Montag in in her *ahem* adult magazine photoshoot.

Two things:

1. I’ve seen more nudity in the Bible
2. I’ve seen less airbrushing on a beaded t-shirt in Myrtle Beach South Carolina

Why do they airbrush the SHIT out of these things? She’s like 24 and has huge tits. She’s all set. It’s not like she’s some aging actress trying to get back some of the glory of the Buffy days (sorry Kristy! Call me!). We don’t need “sexy elegant” here. This magazine sits on the back of the toilet in a frat house, not the desk of the CEO of Bank of America next to Yachting Digest.  I mean how classy can you really be with your tits hanging out in a spank mag photo session? But I digress…

Speaking of naked tits. THERE ARE NONE. It’s the ultimate tease by a girl who will probably make every man in her life put his fist through a wall. I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t give you partial credit. So, enjoy? These will probably be gone within a few hours.