Food and Drink
Nicole Richie knocked up?
Jun 12th
Newsflash: Nicole is still skinny. Except now she might be not eating for two. Rumors are stirring that Nicole might be preggers.
Richie recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, reports Life and Style, which reports that the tests “confirmed she is pregnant.â€Â
Richie’s rep didn’t respond to requests for comment from either L&S or The Scoop, but on May 30, the star was photographed at a reproductive clinic, and the mag quotes an “insider†as saying, “Nicole’s determined to get healthy for her own sake and the baby’s.†(source)
How is that even physiologically possible? I’m pretty sure in order to carry a baby, you need to have some percentage of body fat and Nicole’s -7% isn’t cutting it. Furthermore, who the fuck could be coked-out, booze saturated and/or have received enough blunt force trauma to bang that bag of bones?
Well, if she is pregnant then the baby could theoretically survive by eating Nicole’s entrails until it finally just rips its way out and goes after Ripley. Ease down, you’re just grinding transaxle.
UPDATE: The NY Post says she’s a fat fatty.
Angelina Jolie needs some Mac & Cheese
Jun 6th
Someone give that girl some soul food. I mean, she’s been to Africa, and that’s the mother of all souls but girlfriend needs some sammies. I’ve got a cure for that flat ass and those bony arms; it’s called fried chicken and sweet potato pie. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s not that she isn’t gorgeous. She’s got that motherly glow, totally in-love, blood drinker thing going for her; it’s just that if you take away those 15 pounds of hair and 9 pound lips, you’re left with a skeleton with some gnarly tattoos in expensive shoes.
Here are a few pics of her the Oceans 13 premiere. Enjoy Angelina Skeletor at your own leisure.
{Ed. note: I don’t know Em, she still has her rack. Other than that she’s real fat fatty.-Fatback}ÂÂ
Paris Likes to Eat
Nov 1st
Paris Hilton’s whining again because the public thinks she’s a whore promiscuous. Apparently, she has morals. And an appetite.
Although the Stars Are Blind singer became famous after a sex tape she filmed with former boyfriend RICK SOLOMON was released on the internet in 2003, she says she doesn’t deserve her racy reputation.
She tells Seventeen magazine, “People shouldn’t judge me and assume that’s how I am.
“I get in so many fights with guys who are like, ‘In public, you are the sexiest sex symbol, but you’re not sexual at all at home.’ “I’m like, ‘Whatever, shut up. I don’t wanna be.’ I’d rather watch a movie or LOST, or like, eat.” (source)
Everyone’s a critic. I totally get aggravated when people assume I’m easy because I strut around in sheer, short dresses with straps that are always too loose thus showing my left tit and my bedroom acrobatics are spread via broadband Internet feed and when I show my “naughty” zone every time I get in and out of the fucking car. I’d totally rather be eating a lettuce wedge and a grapefruit rind watching mindless TV than gallivanting around LA’s chicest nightclubs with famous starlets and billionaire heirs. I just wanna be me! Totally.
