Film
Kidman is Preggo, Mates
Nov 9th
G’day beautes! According to the ever so glamorous and accurate National Enquirer, Nicole Kidman is pregnant and recently announced the arrival to husband Keith Urban…in rehab! I love Hollywood! Urban is currently at the Betty Ford Clinic seeking treatment.
Two home pregnancy tests confirmed the 39-year-old actress is expecting her first child, sources say — but, ironically, her four-month marriage to country crooner Keith, 39, is in serious jeopardy. “Nicole’s dream of having a child finally came true when two home pregnancy tests came up positive,” an insider tells The ENQUIRER.
“But she’s devastated that Keith lied to her about kicking his addictions to booze and cocaine. She’s hoping the baby will save their relationship.†(source)
Mom “accidentally†dropped her diaphragm on a stack of open safety pins, thus “accidentally†poking a hole and I “accidentally†appeared nine months later. Apparently, a retired auto mechanic drawing disability was a solid candidate for fatherhood in spite of his penchant for stalking young women and his propensity for winding up in court. Naturally, that relationship didn’t last past breakfast and my presence only serves as a reminder that decisions are not best made while under the influence of Mad Dog 20/20 and Jerry Springer. The moral is: don’t have a baby to save your relationship unless you want that child to endure 13 years of therapy and countless sexual partners because you tried to make something out of nothing. I’m not bitter! No worries, Nicole, it’ll come good, love! Time for me to hit the turps. I speak Australian. I fucking rock!
Deep Throat Highly Influential Film
Oct 6th
Hey y’all, Emily here! It’s Friday and that’s my Pornday. The 1972 porn hit “Deep Throat†is considered one of 100 culturally classic films of all time. I wonder if Pump Fiction or Caddysnatch made the list?
The pioneering porno movie “Deep Throat” was picked on Wednesday as one of 100 landmark films of all time in a new Radio Times guide.
The “Radio Times Guide to Films 2007,” compiled by the magazine’s film reviewers and staff, put “Deep Throat” up there with such cult classics as “Citizen Kane” and “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”
Justifying the choice, Radio Times’ film editor Andrew Collins said: “Deep Throat is not necessarily recommended for everyone — it’s a quite badly made film — but to deny its influence would be pure snobbery.” (source)
Every time I hear that characteristic 70s porn soundtrack it launches me back to the first time I watched Deep Throat. Daddy was passed out on the couch from the booze and mommy’s special “Flintstones” so I took a video from his collection he hid in the Miller Lite box in the garage. Changed my life. It was clearly the influence of Deep Throat that led to me enrolling in medical school. You can imagine my severe disappointment, however, when “fierce cock sucking and angry anal orgies†weren’t on the list of medical specialties. Fucking liars! The disillusionment led me to drop out of med school, work the late shift at the strip joint where I met a crowd of Brazilian models and eventually developed a $1000 a day coke habit. I’m not bitter.
That being said, who’s up for movie reenactment night at my place? Bring your fishnets! Speaking of ho’s. Here are the Girls Next Door trying to be Halloween-ish, but mostly whore-ish. Mouse over the images for descriptions. Click ‘em if you wanna lick ‘em.
