Fatback Media

Police are now saying that actor Shia LeBeouf, while intoxicated, did not cause the accident a few nights ago that flipped his vehicle slightly injuring him and Transformers 2 co-star Isabel Lucas.

Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore says detectives have determined that the other driver, who has not been identified, ran the light and will also be cited. LaBeouf was booked for a misdemeanor DUI and underwent surgery for injuries to his left hand.

“He was not at fault,” Whitmore said of the “Transformers” actor.

LaBeouf’s pickup truck collided with another vehicle at 3 a.m. Sunday in West Hollywood. Lucas and the driver of the other vehicle were not seriously injured. (Yahoo)

Isabel Lucas is the 23 year old Aussie hottie that is starring in the Transformers sequel (not to be confused with Aussie hottie Rachel Taylor who starred in the first Transformers movie). Isabel Lucas is reportedly dating entourage’s Adrian Grenier, but she was out late drinking with Shia “Where’s The” LeBoeuf. Shia was also seen kissing Megan Fox backstage at the MTV Movie Awards, which makes him my personal hero (taking the place of Jesus). Is Shia sleeping with your girlfriend? I’d say it’s probably a likelihood. Not your mom though. She’s kind of ragged out since I broke up with her.

The new Indiana Jones Movie, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, evidently blew away the critics and movie goers alike. Most summer blockbusters tend to make your brain cry, and this one is probably no different. America likes 3 things in a Summer Blockbuster.

1. Awesome
2. More Awesome
3. Tits

I guess 2 out of three ain’t bad.

• Jessica Alba’s staring contest
• Jessica Alba Shopping For Cushions
• Harrison Ford Is No Action Hero
• durina’s sister has some big ass tit tays!
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• Nice Day For A Dyke Wedding at Yeeeah!
• Deep Thoughts by Harrison Ford | Candy Kirby
• Whitney Port’s Naked Boobie at Lunch
• Angelina Jolie Flashes Her Boobs
• Aishwarya Rai @ “Kung Fu Panda” Premiere
• Chanelle Hayes Sex Tape - Full Length Video

This is Eva Amurri, Susan Sarandon’s daughter who’s currently featured in the new film, The Life Before Her Eyes with Uma Thurman and Evan Rachel Wood. Not only is Eva a talented actress and humanitarian she also has giant beautiful boobies; which makes here a true hero to the human race. Here’s more about the movie:

A dramatic thriller about Diana, a suburban wife and mother who begins to question her seemingly perfect life–and perhaps her sanity–on the 15th anniversary of a tragic high school shooting that took the life of her best friend. In flashbacks, Diana is a vibrant high schooler who, with her shy best friend Maureen, plot typical teenage strategies–cutting class, fantasizing about boys–and vow to leave their sleepy suburb at the first opportunity. The older Diana, however, is haunted by the increasingly strained relationship she had with Maureen as day of the school shooting approached. These memories disrupt the idyllic life she’s now leading with her professor husband Paul and their young daughter Emma. As older Diana’s life begins to unravel and younger Diana gets closer and closer to the fatal day, a deeper mystery slowly unravels (IMDB)

I know what you’re thinking. This could go one of two ways. Evan Rachel Wood and Eva Amurri have lots of full frontal experimental high school sex (good!) or this movie turns out to be a character study into the the motivations of the new suburban neo-capitalist (read: Nietzsche’s cattle) vis-a-vis the military industrial machine and the deliberate desensitization to violence through media and video games that threatens to tear our society apart (bad!). Let’s hope for boobies!

Someone give that girl some soul food. I mean, she’s been to Africa, and that’s the mother of all souls but girlfriend needs some sammies. I’ve got a cure for that flat ass and those bony arms; it’s called fried chicken and sweet potato pie. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s not that she isn’t gorgeous. She’s got that motherly glow, totally in-love, blood drinker thing going for her; it’s just that if you take away those 15 pounds of hair and 9 pound lips, you’re left with a skeleton with some gnarly tattoos in expensive shoes.

Here are a few pics of her the Oceans 13 premiere. Enjoy Angelina Skeletor at your own leisure.

{Ed. note: I don’t know Em, she still has her rack. Other than that she’s real fat fatty.-Fatback} 

Rolling Stone’s June issue is set to feature Johnny Depp and Keith Richards, stars of the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Richards will be playing Cap’n Jack Sparrow’s (Depp) father.

It’s damn near typecasting, since Depp admits he used Richards as a model for the dreadlocked, mascaraed Jack. As Roger Ebert wrote, “Depp seems to be channeling a drunken drag queen, with his eyeliner and the way he minces ashore and slurs his dialogue ever so insouciantly.”

RS also insouciantly added:

Depp’s trailer is movie-star expansive and well swabbed with couches and wall tapestries, yet the joint also has the scary vibe of a voodoo lounge. After all, Richards, a certified wild card, recently told a Brit magazine that he was so close to his late dad, Bert, that he snorted his ashes with a bit of blow… Days earlier, [a] reporter earned the wrath of Keith for mistaking Richards’ famed skull ring for an Iggy Pop copy. The blunder led the rock icon to threaten the journalist with sodomy by banana.(source)

It’s no secret I have a weakness for badass rockstars with attitudes, so the news of Keith threatening sodomy by banana MADE MY FUCKING DAY. This story isn’t southern and it isn’t sexy, but it’s a riot. Not all celebrity gossip is filled with hot women with ginormous racks, you greedy bastards. Learn to appreciate the finer things in life, like fine wine, good music, strippers who accept checks and coked-out 60 year old rockstars.

And because I know you only come here for the gratuitous tit and ass shots, here’s some photos of ultra hot Karolina Kurkova. You can’t pronounce it, but you don’t need to. Kisses!

-Em.