Drugs
What’s Wrong with This Picture?
Dec 6th
I guess the better question is, “What’s not wrong with this picture?” But, anyway, remember back to when you were a kid and would try to pick out 10 things wrong with a picture in a game book? Well Amy Winehouse now provides that opportunity to us as adults. While wandering around the streets of London, Amy Winehouse makes for a game that could go on for hours. For instance: 1) She’s wearing her bra outside 2) She’s wearing her bra outside in what is probably 50 degree weather 3) She is jaundiced 4) Her jaundiced skin matches the color of her teeth 5) She’s crying . . .
And, the list goes on, but I’ll leave it to you to play the game because quite frankly Amy’s photo is scaring me. If anyone has a 2008 Death Pool please let me know because I will place my bet on Amy. I can’t decide if she will O.D. or commit suicide, but I do believe she will pop off in the next year.
Oh and do enjoy these other lovely pictures of Amy in which she is either dazed, high, or both . . .
Lindsay: Drunken Idiot, Carjacking Twat.
Jul 31st
“It’s all about makin’ that G-T-A…”.
Though the police are using the word ‘commandeered’, it all boils down to one thing. Lindsay Lohan got fucked up and stole herself a car when and decided to chase a moving vehicle through a residential area.
Why? Who the fuck knows. The assistant had quit a few hours before, so Lindsay probably was three sheets to the wind and became indignant. You know how it goes. Why, I remember one time, after about a fifth of Kickin’ Chicken, I went on rant at some cop who was guarding the door at a nightclub I wanted into. Ended in tears. I assure you.
Like Lindsay not too long ago, I was underage. But hell, I was going in that club to get plastered to the wall come hell or high water. But goddamn, Lindsay, all I had to do was flash the guy my tits. YOU on the other hand decide to turn into a total whackjob and chase some poor woman down the streets with a jacked car.
Does it get any better than that? A coked up, drunken star pissing their career away all over the media? Yes, it does. How? Well, one of the guys in the car she hijacked was so afraid that he jumped out of the damned car.
Fucking please. If those guys would have had any sense whatsoever, they’d have knocked the little bitch out of the car in two seconds flat. I sure the hell would have.
If you’re interested, you can find the transcript of the 911 call during the chase here-
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19984231/
If you’re not, go look at some porn or something. I don’t fucking know. What am I, your personal assistant? More Lindsay. Bet you can’t guess the photographer…
Lindsay blames it on the black guy
Jul 27th
I can only assume that Lindsay Lohan’s drunk detecting bracelet didn’t work. (You think they picked it up on Ebay?)
Little Miss Lindsay got herself all plastered with a bit of coked-up on the side and decided to play chase early Tuesday morning. She was picked up by the cops, frisked and found to be carrying cocaine on her person. I wonder if she had to do the old squat and cough?
The best part of this story is how even though she was driving drunk and in possession of cocaine she managed to blame it on someone else. It’s gets better. When one of the kids who was in the car with her (the one that Lindsay basically stole) tried to get her to stop because she was going to get in trouble she threatened to sue and quipped:
 ”I can’t get in trouble. I’m a celebrity. I can do whatever the fuck I want.” (TMZ)
Once she stopped the car and the police arrived on scene, Lindsay did however, own up to the whole thing and tried to make it right with the cops. Oh wait, I meant she went all white trash and blamed the nearest black guy- Susan Smith style.
When police arrived, Dante says it seemed as if Lindsay told officers, “I wasn’t driving. The black kid was driving.”
Dante and Jakon [passengers in the car] say they saw Lindsay flunk the field sobriety test. They say when she tried touching her nose, she almost fell over.(TMZ)
So now she’s facing drunk driving and narcotic charges. It also looks like her dad is trying to cash in on this whole fiasco. Guy is in the news, talking about how all of this is ‘partly his fault’. Yeah, it probably is and no one really gives a rat’s ass. Ooh. Her mom is doing interviews, so that means she really loves her, right? Right?
“We are doing everything in our power in support of Lindsay and I won’t give up – this is my daughter and we love her,” Dina Lohan tells The Insider. (source)
What everyone cares about is, How long will Lindsay be in rehab this time? Will she munch carpet in there? And when will the pics of rehab lesbian action leak?
Lindsay Lohan = Worthless Drunk. I’m done.
Jul 24th
That’s it. I’m done. Congratulations, Lindsay, you’ve beaten me. I used to think that I possessed a biting wit and a funny take on celebrities’ misfortunes that would endear me to the masses, but you’ve taken that away from me. You’ve worn me down, and I’m waving the tattered white flag of surrender. First you get a DUI on Memorial Day weekend, then you enter rehab. OK, I’ll cut you some slack on account of your admitting that you’re a complete alcoholic (whereas I’m only halfway, i.e. I don’t have to go to rehab just yet). Then you celebrate your 21st birthday, sober and with your mom. I celebrated mine at a Bacchanalian Italian feast before gallivanting across Southern Europe for the next 3 months, but once again, I was willing to take it easy on you. Then you go out and drag race across LA last night, drunk on appletinis (or were they cosmos?) with some blow in your pocket, to boot. At this point, you have entered an area of celebrity culture that used to be reserved for Mike Tyson, Anna Nicole, and Michael Jackson. You’re so goddamned crazy that you’ve taken the fun out of it for the rest of us.
Lindsay Lohan was arrested for drunk driving in Santa Monica early this morning — her second bust in less than three months.
According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept., 21-year-old Lohan was nailed around 2:15 AM near Pico Boulevard and Main Street early Tuesday morning. (source)
So congratulations, Lindsay. I am a broken man. Here’s to your last few months on earth, because you’re no doubt only a few months away from launching your Benz off of the Santa Monica Pier on the way to screw some B-level male celebrity. Rest assured that I’ll pour out a wine cooler for you when the day comes. Here’s Lindsay in happier times.
