Fatback Media

Just when you think Amy Winehouse has given up the crack . . . okay, that joke was simply too obvious, I know. Anyway, Amy and her ass crack were out and about in London running errands, and lo and behold poor lil’ Amy couldn’t cough up money for cab fare, or so the story goes. You know how reliable those are. Supposedly she had to run in her house and scrounge around for enough money to pay the cabbie. Only Amy Winehouse could sell millions of records yet not have enough money on her to pay cab fare. Though, if she were a true crack whore, she’d have found others ways to repay the cab driver!

Looks like little Dannielynn, Anna Nicole Smith’s baby daughter is about to be rich. Which is great because her dead mom was a drugged out tramp who would have eventually killed her like she did her other kid Daniel. So Dannielynn gets millions and she doesn’t go on to die at 15 because her mom gave her a lethal dose of Schedule IV drugs in her breakfast cereal. Win-win.

Anna Nicole Smith’s 18-month-old daughter Dannielynn has been declared the sole heir to the former Playmate’s estate.

But wait there’s more!

In addition, the judge also established a trust in Dannielynn’s name, and named Stern and the child’s father Larry Birkhead as co-trustees. (TMZ)

Oh. So that’s why those two have been so friendly. This pretty much means that Dannielynn will have about $1.71 left over in her trust fund by the time she turns 21. Sorry Dannielynn. I would just keep that as my stage name later on. I think it plays. Also, here are some suggestive photos of Dannielynn’s dead mom because I’m a dick. And if you have forgotten what she looks like naked: here you go.

Aaron Carter (?), Nick Carter’s (?) little brother was caught with 2 ounces of weed after a traffic stop for speeding.

Nick Carter’s baby bro, Aaron, was busted earlier today in Kimble County, Texas with at least two ounces of marijuana! TMZ has confirmed Aaron was pulled over on I-10 earlier today for speeding — and when authorities decided to search his vehicle, they found the fat stash inside. (TMZ)

Wait. Aaron Carter is white? I thought Nick Carter was that black guy that long poled Kim Kardashian in that sex tape? Wait. Nope. Turns out the black guy with the donkey dick was Nick Cannon. Thanks Wikipedia! That was freakin’ me out because can you imagine how Diff’rent Strokes that would have been? Aaron would cry to Mr. Drummond about how the kids at the inner city school beat his ass for trying to talk gangsta, and Nick would fuck Aaron’s mom and record it on his cellphone. A very special episode!

Here’s some jailbait chick name Kaci Brown that Aaron used to date because she thought he could make her famous.