Drugs
Lindsay Lohan Likes Drugs
Sep 18th
"You look mighty cute in them jeans..."
Apparently, Lindsay Lohan couldn’t keep her nose clean during probation and has failed her mandatory drug test. This means she may face prison time…oh who the fuck am I kidding. She could snort coke from the canoed skull of a her own aborted fetus and drive her car right up the LA County Courthouse steps at lunchtime wearing the skin of murdered runaway teen as a jacket and she’d still never see the inside of a prison again. You see, rich people get to do what they want, and people like you and me get to murder hate them.
We’re told the court-mandated drug test in question occurred last week. According to the terms of Lindsay’s probation, she will get 30 days in jail for a positive drug test.
One source connected with Lindsay tells TMZ … “People with addiction problems don’t get better magically, and she’s really been making an effort to make herself better.” (via TMZ)
So apparently Fornarina, makes clothing for the jockey lot. Howwwwwwwwwwl!
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- Whore in wolf’s clothing
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- “You look mighty cute in them jeans…”
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- We get it, you have nice tits.
Jennifer Capriati Hospitalized
Jun 28th
Remember little teen hottie Jennifer Capriati, the ripped tennis player who kicked ass back when Ace of Base was topping the charts? Ok, Ace of Base never really topped the charts, but ‘I Saw the Signs’ was my jam. Right? Right? Anyhowitzer, TMZ reports that there’s one thing that Jenifer Capriati loves more than tennis and that’s lots of drugs.
[The] former teen tennis star Jennifer Capriati was rushed to the hospital early this morning after paramedics responded to a call for a possible overdose. (source)
I’m not sure what kind of drugs she OD’d on but judging from her guns, I’d say that she’s into stuff with a A-D sterane core. Also, “all that she wants…is another ba-by…”. GRRRR, JENNIFER HUNGRY.
Mindy McCready Loves Drugs
Jul 25th
Country hottie Mindy McCready is back in rehab after reportedly trying to kill herself with Vodka and Ambien (a popular sleep medication) and Dr. Phil may be coming to her rescue. Maybe. Ambien seems to be the new pill of choice for today’s drug users. Sanofi Aventis should just give out samples of Ambien CR with every gram bag of coke that you buy. That would save a lot of marketing dollars. And in this economy…sheesh!
TMZ has learned the troubled McCready went off the deep end late last week after getting dumped by her boyfriend and collapsed while on the phone with her mother. She downed a bottle of vods and pills in what we’re told was a “suicide attempt.”
She’s headed to Arizona for treatment, and a source says that was all Phil’s idea. We’re told he’s taken Mindy under his wing as a “personal project.” As for whether or not she’ll be on the show, time will tell. (TMZ)
God damn, Mindy McCready likes to be drunk. When I eventually sleep with her, I’ll make sure to tell her that her life is spinning out of control and she needs some help as I throw the money on nightstand and walk out the next morning. But, I’ll leave her a bottle of Stoli and 2 Ambien CR’s with a note that says “call me”. Works every time.
Fucking Finally
Apr 9th
Pete Doherty was sentenced yesterday to 14 weeks in prison for violating his probation. He’s been arrested countless times for drugs, violence and even squirting his own blood on a reporter. He’s committed so many crimes I think he is officially his own mafia. So, in the grand scheme of things I think probation violation is the one that should stick.
The judge in his case, Davinder Lacher, had spared Doherty a custodial sentence last year and gave him four weeks to prove he could stay off drugs after he was found in possession of crack, heroin, cannabis and ketamine.
The singer’s extensive criminal record includes assault, possession of a flick-knife and numerous driving and drug offenses.
Doherty’s long-serving lawyer, Sean Curran, said the singer accepted the court’s sentence. (Daily Mail)
Pete Doherty has done so many drugs that they named a town after him in Columbia. British people have to fly at least 3 hours in any direction just to score a dime bag. The UK legal system never seems to put Pete in jail which is why he’s high all the time and such an insufferable, scabby, asshole. The arresting part they have down. The putting in jail part never seems to come work out. As a judge, how can you not incarcerate someone who enters a plea of, “Do you know where I can score some ketamine, I have court today?”. Bong. Bong.
