Damn, Bar Rafaeli is a big bitch. It looks like she could put Diane Kruger in her pocket. I love big tall chicks. Makes me want to tackle the shit out of ‘em. You know they can fight – from all the teasing and hazing they got from being a giant kid at school. People don’t forget... I bet Bar Rafaeli could pull some Mossad martial arts shit too, and break a brother’s arm. Would be totally worth it. If you try to bang a big bitch like her and don’t come out of it with a black eye and bruised ego, you’re not doing something right.

What the F, Diane Kruger? I know you’re German, but this is taking the whole I’m a hot chick but I’m gonna dress in clothes that make you despise my whole reunified nation thing a bit too far. Diane Kruger is insanely beautiful, and yet she wore this travesty to the Longchamps 60th Anniversary Party; which celebrated 60 glorious years of making fine handbags that only ultra rich snobby assholes can afford. This outfit simultaneously makes me sad and angry, because Diane Kruger is usually so pretty and elegant and because I got a boner when I read Huck Finn this morning.

If you have forgotten what Diane Kruger looks like naked then click here.