Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are cool and trendy people. Most people know that Ashton uses Twitter on a regular basis. If you don’t know what twitter is by now, you should crawl out from under the rock you have been living under and get with it. Recently a woman wrote on the site, ” getting a knife, a big one that is sharp. Going to cut my arm down the whole arm so it doesn’t waste time.” This is honestly one of the creepiest things I have ever read on twitter.

Demi then responded, ” I hope you are joking.” She went on to say, ” Everyone I was very torn about responding or retweeting that woman’s post but felt uncomfortable just letting it go.”Afterwards the cops were called and though they said they never found the woman who made the threat, is saying things are ok now. You hear that? Demi Moore is a superhero! I want to save someone’s life on twitter. I can set up an alternate account, make a death threat, and then diffuse it on my regular account. I think chicks will dig that. Look at me, me and my gigantic penis, saving lives left and right. This is going to be fun!

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Links that are twitter crazy!

A Lindsay Lohan nipple slip- IDLYITW

Another stupid baby name- Holy Moly

Paris Hilton is in a robot bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Kim Kardashian has fat fingers- I Don’t Want Your Life

Marissa Miller is beachy- yeeeah

Paris is being picked on. Awww- Celeb News Wire

Shawn Johnson’s stalker got a traffic ticket- IDLYITW

Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker still ridiculous- Amy Grindhouse

I really hope Mel B doesn’t strip- Allie Is Wired

Tori amos has a new video- popbytes

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Marriage proposal gone bad- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

LiLo loves her some red bull- Geno’s World

Bruno trailer- notorious news

A lot of people think Ashton Kutcher is a talentless attention whore or simply a bad actor. I used to agree with these people. Nothing is going to change the fact that he is an attention whore but he is also pretty cool. Kind of like when he takes pictures of his wife Demi Moore in a bikini and then uploads the pictures onto twitter. Here is Demi Moore in a little white bikini bending over in the bathroom I guess and Ashton snapped a pic and gave it to the world.

Thank you Ashton. I don’t know if he snapped the pic with one of those mega huge mega pixel cameras that he does commercials for, but the quality looks pretty good. Believe it or not, the occasion for Demi Moore to be in a bikini isn’t a chilling day at the beach but Bruce Willis’ birthday. In fact I don’t even know if it is a bikini. She might actually be in her underwear. In which case she is showing her age because I haven’t seen underwear that big on a woman since, never.

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Guests at Ashton Kutcher’s birthday party a few weeks ago have been asked to get Hepatitis tests because a bartender later tested positive for the virus. I guess that will teach the Jews not to kill god’s son.

It may sound like an episode of Punk’d – but this time it’s real.Guests at Ashton Kutcher’s 30th birthday party at the trendy New York bar Socialista are being urged to get a Hepatitis A vaccination because one of the bartenders was infected.

Among the A-listers at the Feb. 7 event: Kutcher’s wife Demi Moore, Madonna, Bruce Willis, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Salma Hayek.

The bartender also worked on Feb. 8 and Feb. 11. (PEOPLE)

Ok. To be fair, this wasn’t a Kabbalah party. And the Kabbalah really has nothing to do with Hepatitis or God’s Wrath. I think. Plus not all Jews are part of the Kabbalah and almost no Kabbalah members are actually Jews either. So it’s really not a Jewish cult like they tell you it is on the 700 Club. It’s more of an extortion scheme by the bankers who run Hollywood and the diamond markets. Also, the bartender would have had to either bleed on everyone or fuck the whole guest list for there to be a problem. Advantage: slutty bartender.

On a journalistic note did you catch how PEOPLE magazine set up that story like a trailer for Bad Boys II? Shit just got real…

Also real: how hot Bar Rafaeli is.