Fatback Media

In an interesting turn of events, K-Fed is giving Britney a good kick in the balls she’s grown. Don’t tell me she doesn’t have them. Any chick who shaves her head has a set hidden somewhere.

K-Fed Up should be his new moniker. He is sick and tired of his Ex’s stupidity and believes the kids would be better off with him. I say, good for him. Take your kids from the crazy bitch! Cracking into cars, giving the paparazzi crotch shots (which Fatback loves, ya know), and doing only god knows what the fuck all else, surely isn’t the example you want for your kids.

I never thought I would see the day when I thought K-Fed was a stand up parent, but hey, hell does freeze over occasionally it seems. ‘Course he could just be in it for the money.

As we first reported, K-Fed is going back to court asking for more custody of the kids. Federline just agreed to a 50/50 split. Then, he turned around almost immediately and filed papers asking for 70/30. So why such a sudden change of heart? (source)

It sucks that even in today’s courts you have judges who think the mother is the perfect one for the kids. Not so. Plenty of hot men out there who are excellent fathers. No, I have no clue what the fuck their hotness has to do with it, but damn, I like me some beefalicious daddy.

Alright, catch you later, got to recharge the batteries to the Venus.
These aren’t new, but neither is Britney Spears’ Schadenfruede.

Ok, it’s the holidays and things are slow so I’m going through the posting queue and pulling out some also-rans. Enjoy the stale news bitches.

Repeat after me: Nicole Richie was not in rehab. She was in rehab, wasn’t she?

Nicole Richie wants to clear the air once and for all!

An eyewitness tells Life & Style that the skinny starlet, who had reportedly gone into rehab to seek help for her weight, marched up to gossip blogger Perez Hilton today at LA’s Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and insisted to him: “I was NOT in rehab! Everyone was wrong. I did not go to rehab.” (source)

While probably laden with swimming pools, tennis courts, caviar and movie stars, I’m still pretty sure that building is considered an institution. And your seminar on ‘how to eat more than 6 raisins’ is probably considered therapy. And your 78-pound frame is almost certainly considered to be the cause of an eating disorder. I’m not a doctor, but I have watched several episodes of Grey’s Anatomy so I’m quite sure that qualifies me to make these judgments. Now I’m off to eat a cheeseburger (extra mayo!) while watching my “stories”. Here are some pictures of April Scott a woman who knows what curves are supposed look like.
 

Popstar Jessica Simpson was horrified recently when an on-line friend turned out to be a male escort. WTF? OMG, I bet she didn’t LOL. W/E!

“Jessica logged on [to an Internet matchmaking service] to find company,” reveals a friend. “She found a picture of a guy in LA she thought was ideal.”
However, her hopefulness turned to horror when she discovered the man she was meeting was a prostitute.
“They arranged to meet, but when she turned up, she found out the sad truth — he was only interested in a ‘professional transaction’. The guy turned out to be a male escort.”
The blonde singer has publicly admitted she needs a man. “I’m a little sexually frustrated right now,” she told US talk show host Jay Leno recently.
Having no luck with her celebrity encounters, pals say Jessica turned to the Net to find a regular guy. Insiders say she was also trying to score a date behind the back of her controlling father and manager Joe Simpson, who doesn’t believe anyone is good enough for his A-list daughter. (source)

Well with the IQ of a used condom and creepy Papa Simpson always one step ahead [with one hand down his pants], it’s no wonder she can’t bag a man. I did the Internet dating thing once; all the cool kids were doing it and I was desperate after my guy ran off with my other guy (it was a horrible case of ménage a.. what the..?). I began chatting with a software engineer who was charming and funny and attractive…and also serving a 9 year prison sentence for a postal mix-up gone terribly wrong. Conjugal visits were exciting, but it didn’t last long; what with his with the inclination to commit felonies, my looking pasty and pale under halogen lighting. That’s just no way to build true romance. Que sera, sera.

No real reason for that old pic except, if you look close you can see Jessica’s American Pride.

Nip/Tuck star Joely Richardson (Julia McNamara) has decided to leave the show momentarily to care for her daughter, who was diagnosed with circulation problems when she was born. Her daughter is set to receive multiple surgeries. Hurry back, Julia!

Richardson admits she had no choice when it came to deciding to quit her hit show. She adds, “I love my work but I had to be in two places at once and I thought, ‘If it were all over tomorrow, what would I regret?’ It would be not being there for her.” Richardson fears she’ll never be able to return to “Nip/Tuck,” but series creator Ryan Murphy is hoping her character Julia McNamara, will be back. He says, “I don’t want to do the show without her.” (source)

I am undeniably addicted to this show and no one will ever understand the bond like another addict. It’s scandalous, outrageous, racy, sexy, and dramatic. It’s like the TV version of my life, complete with lipo, expensive cars, naked women and midgets! Except I still have both my kidneys. While I’ve never cared for Joely’s character, which could be the mark of a good actress, I hate to see her go, especially now that she banged the male nanny (slash little person) Marlo. She’s upwards of 5’10’’; he’s downwards of 4’5’’. So many questions, so little time.

Salma Hayek blah blah TV show blah blah Ugly Betty blah blah. BOOBS! I personally have one of the nicest racks this side of the Mason-Dixon (it’s been proven in 9 states, fellas!) and even I can’t help but drool over Salma Hayek’s devastatingly perfect rack. The only thing better would be if her bra was even more ill-fitting and revealing. Actually, it would be better if I was in the elevator with her and we accidentally got stuck for a few hours. We got stuck because I might have promised the elevator repairman a trip “around the world” to write down the wrong building address. But I digress. Boobs!

Love, Emily!