Celebrity Gossip
Ochin Priatna, Anna Chapman
Jun 29th
The Cold War is back on baby! So brush up on your tradecraft because the Russians have deep cover agents all up in your operational area. And this chick is hotter than a flash paper One-Time-Pad. This is “Anna Chapman”, with Giant Russian Bear sized quotation marks all around that shit, tovarisch. As you can see, Anna is premium bred honey-pot right from the bread basket of the former CCCP. It’s nice to see they haven’t lost their chops. Anna , along with 10 other alleged deep cover Russian spies were arrested this week on charges of espionage and money laundering. Anna was apparently a successful real estate agent as well. But in this market, who can blame her for making dead drops and brush passes with the FSB? Here’s what SFGate via NY Daily News reports:
FBI agents found the Verizon phone contract and Motorola charger along with packaging for calling cards that can be used for international calls in a trash can after Chapman was arrested, according to the complaint.
The court document also details Chapman’s interactions with an undercover FBI agent who fed her instructions for preparing a fake passport to transfer to another female spy.
She was instructed to hold a magazine a certain way to signal the other spy to initiate contact.
Chapman is quoted in the complaint repeating back the following instructions: “Okay, tomorrow at 11, I am going to be sitting at one of the benches, she is going to ask me if she saw me in California. I am going to say no, it was in the Hamptons. I will take the documents, tell her to sign. I will hold the journal, this is how she will recognize me.”
She was arrested before the mission was carried out. Chapman appeared in Manhattan federal court on June 28, 2010 with four other alleged spies.
Ok first off, that’s like cub scout trade craft, even if we’re using “Moscow Rules”. There haves to be at least 2 signals for the contact and at least two fall back points in case you get a no-go signal. Also, I prefer to be used for sex multiple time before I’m burned as an asset, Just saying. Call me (Russian) ladies! UPDATE: If you want to see Anna Chapman Nude then pazhalsta click here comrade.
Jennifer Capriati Hospitalized
Jun 28th
Remember little teen hottie Jennifer Capriati, the ripped tennis player who kicked ass back when Ace of Base was topping the charts? Ok, Ace of Base never really topped the charts, but ‘I Saw the Signs’ was my jam. Right? Right? Anyhowitzer, TMZ reports that there’s one thing that Jenifer Capriati loves more than tennis and that’s lots of drugs.
[The] former teen tennis star Jennifer Capriati was rushed to the hospital early this morning after paramedics responded to a call for a possible overdose. (source)
I’m not sure what kind of drugs she OD’d on but judging from her guns, I’d say that she’s into stuff with a A-D sterane core. Also, “all that she wants…is another ba-by…”. GRRRR, JENNIFER HUNGRY.
Celebrity Rehab Postponed
Jun 1st
There is a show out there that is on VH1 or MTV or some shit and it is called Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and they are postponing the show’s start date this season because they do not have enough celebrities who are fucked up enough to be on the  show on their roster.
I am actually thinking about watching the show because Tila Tequila will be on there and I love that gutterslut. As I have said multiple times before, she blocked me on Twitter which is an awesome place to see attention whores whore it up old school style. I will look into the show and actually watch when it starts and will report on here when some celeb snaps and runs naked through the parking lot. I hope that celeb is Tila Tequila.
Lindsay Lohan Found A New Drug
Jun 1st
Lindsay Lohan has been wearing a SCRAM bracelet for about a week or so now and she had to go through the agonizing pain all alcoholics do and attend Memorial Day bbqs and whatnot and watch people get hammered and there isn’t shit for her to do about it.
Of course Lindsay is too good to go to a scummy bbq so she went to some parties instead and instead of getting wasted she drank can after can of red bull. I like red bull but if you drink too many cans of it, not only will you wanna jump out of your skin with energy but you will wanna puke up whatever is in your stomach cause you start shaking so badly.
Of course I have something that is known to give women energy for hours and has been known to cure cancer. I won’t say what it is but it  come from my body from an organ that rhymes with fleenis. Just sayin’.
