Next week TLC will air the final episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8. If you are sick and tired of all the tabloid stories about Jon and Kate Gosselin ( I am not) then don’t worry because it is almost over. TLC issued a statement saying that they will be working with Kate on her own show but I am not sure that it will involve the kids.

I am sure that if Jon has his way the kids will not be involved at all. So if you are a Jon and Kate Plus 8 fan like I am, tune into TLC on Nov.23 and get the final words from both parents, and hell, maybe the kids will get a few seconds of airtime. After all that is what the show is about. It is about the kids. Yeah right.

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Links that forgot why they were famous in the first place

New Moon sucks is fantastic- IDLYITW

Stephen Colbert talks about working w/ president Obama- Geno’s World

One of Miley Cyrus’ tour buses crash. Miley doesn’t care- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Some chick I have never heard of is naked- Drunken Stepfather

Victoria’s Secret fashion show 2009- yeeeah

Oprah is done- notorious news

Armenians for equal rights- IDLYITW

Miranda Kerr is topless- Fatback Media (NSFW)

John Kerry has a daughter and believe it or not she actually has a cool profession. She is a director in Hollywood, albeit an unpopular one, and she was busted for DUI this morning. I have never heard of Alexandra Forbes Kerry before and after looking at this pic for a few minutes, I still have pretty much zero interest in seeing her ever again.

Nevertheless, she was popped for DUI and when they conducted a field alcohol test, she blew a .06 and .08 is the legal drinking/driving limit. Basically this is a case of dumb fuck cop in Hollywood arresting someone who has a lot of political power. I doubt he will have his job next week but then again I doubt this story will make it on the major news networks. Know why? Cause no one gives a shit who Alexandra Kerry is!

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Links that everyone should know

Robert Pattinson is cruel- IDLYITW

Miley Cyrus does Seventeen magazine- Allie Is Wired

Victoria’s Secret models not in lingerie. Wait…they can do that?- Drunken Stepfather

Amy Winehouse’s tits have burst- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Chastity Bono is dumb- IDLYITW

Tila Tequila is topless!- Fatback Media (NSFW)

It is being reported that two Miss Universe contestants, the contestant for Japan and the contestant for Trinidad and Tobago, are the stars of a newly surfaced three way sex tape. I searched a little bit and tried to find it, but no luck. I will probably have my hands on it by tonight and I can link it here when I am done.

I personally am more excited for the Carrie Prejean sex tape but with two Asian hotties goin’ crazy on some dude’s cock to hold me over, makes me a happy man. Not sure who the guy is, but he should be crowned the luckiest dude alive 2009. I know if I banged two Miss Universe contestants at the same time you would have to physically restrain me from going directly to the press. And in this case, he did the right thing by filming it so he can relive the event again and again and prove to his friends and the world that yes, he did indeed bang two mega hotties from across the world. Once I find the vid I will imagine I am the luckiest guy in the world. Should take about 5-6 minutes. 

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This is actually some pretty cool news. Ashlee Simpson is going to be starring in the musical Chicago on Broadway as Roxie Hart. I have never been to a musical before but from what I hear they are a ton of fun. There is also the added bonus that the mega hot Ashlee Simpson will be its star.

Of course if Ashlee were to sit in my reading chair and hold my hand and ask me to search my soul for honest career advice and what she should do next, I would have to say to immediately try her hand at porn. Think about it, she would be making way more money than Broadway and she would be the first main stream actress to make the switch. Everyone would be in demand for her vids/pics. I doubt she would take my advice but that is why I am a blogger and not a career counselor.

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Links that are at a crossroads in their career

Britney is still in a bikini- IDLYITW

Paris Hilton is jealous- Allie Is Wired

Christina Ricci is gonna be naked soon- Drunken Stepfather

Leighton Meester is in some S&M gear- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Carrie Prejean will not sell out- notorious news

I am having a Wizard of Oz flashback- IDLYITW

Joanna Krupa is nude in Playboy- Fatback Media (NSFW)

I do not know why this information took so long to leak to the public but Farrah Fawcett had a secret lover mentioned in her will named Greg Lott. I am sure this whole story was overlooked for so long because Farrah died the same day that Michael Jackson did and that is just sad.

What was not mentioned, which pisses me off, is that I was not mentioned in the will. All those days I spent massaging her feet and humming sweet nothings into the air and she totally abandoned my ass financially. I also took some nude pics of her but I will keep those to myself.

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Daniel Radcliffe, star of the Harry Potter series has been busted smoking pot over in the U.K. I doubt he will turn into one of those trainwreck celebrities and will probably never be anywhere close to Amy Winehouse but I find it hysterical that a guy who is the idol of practically every little kid across the globe is a doper who likes catching a buzz just like every other 20 something year old.

He was at a party the other day and was so wasted that he let some chick draw on him in permanent marker, making an elaborate mustache on his face. When I was that age I wasn’t smoking U.K.’s finest at a party with millions of dollars in the bank. I was smoking Missouri’s worst at my parents with $20 in my pocket on a good day. To sum things up, Daniel Radcliffe= awesome, me = fail.

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Links that smoke like there’s no tomorrow

Michael Lohan is a criminal mastermind- IDLYITW

This what Taylor Lautner looked like before he was having sex with Taylor Swift- Geno’s World

Adam Lambert secures his spot over and over as gayest man in America- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Leighton Meester is in lingerie- Drunken Stepfather

Cindy Crawford is the victim of an extersion plot. I blame her mole- yeeeah

Ashlee Simpson is in lingerie- notorious news

Jennifer Aniston fails at sexy bikini pics- IDLYITW

Tricia Helfer is naked again- Fatback Media (NSFW)

Richard Heene, or as I call him Dick, has been arrested for attempt to influence a public servant Thursday and was released on bond. It is being reported that he will plead guilty to a misdemeanor but will fight it in court if it is upgraded to a felony. If convicted of a misdemeanor then he would spend 6 months is jail and be fined anywhere from $50 to $750 dollars.

If he is convicted of a felony then he could serve 2-6 years in prison and be fined with anywhere between a $2,000-$500,000 fine. He doesn’t have any money as he was a fuck-up that wants to be on reality tv like he deserves to be in the public spotlight. Well he is making headlines now so it is a dream come true. Only in this case it isn’t 15 minutes of fame it is 2-6 years of fame. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the world’s newest d-lister.

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Earlier this year there were reports that Celine Dion was expecting a second child. Now reports are coming out of her camp that she was never expecting and that is was a false report. Or a misdiagnosis as they are calling it. I never heard the news about being pregnant called a diagnosis before.

Anyway, she basically had a miscarriage and is to ashamed to use those words. You know Canadians, they are so proper. I think she basically doesn’t want people around the world to feel sorry for her because she is just to big to do that. She is Celine Dion! Canadian superhero! She can end world hunger and bring peace in the middle east by hitting one high vocal note. No one can fuck with her. Or maybe she is just some old lady whose eggs have dried up. Take your pick.

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Links that are meek and little

Britney Spears looking saggy and sideways- IDLYITW

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Shakira got dreadlocks- Holy Moly

Silk suits are for pansies- popbytes

Angelina Jolie is adopting without Brad Pitt- Amy Grindhouse

The Hills recap- IBBB

Fergie sucks at making sex tapes- notorious news

Tony Soprano will break your face- IDLYITW

Christian Serratos is nude for PETA- Fatback Media (NSFW)

I really could give a flying fuck less about these pictures. Who Robert Pattinson is putting his dirty wiener into is really none of my business and actually kind of makes me wanna gag a little bit. This story is the talk of the town right now. Everyone already pretty much knew Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were dating but this just kind of confirms it.

Technically they are not holding hands. Robert is holding onto a hat and Kristen is failingly gripping his wrist. I don’t blame him, that hat is worth more than Kristen Stewart’s life 10 times over. They seem happy but that is more likely due to the fact that they both just got done hitting on a blunt than it does “true love”. Once these two take a shower,quit drugs and get a role in a movie that is worth a damn, then I will care who is dating who.

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Jon Gosselin is probably pretty sick of smoking cheap cigarettes nd having to fly coach when he fully deserves to be flying first class so he decided the best and easiest way to make some quick cash is to sue TLC. As everyone must know by now, TLC is the channel that ran Jon and Kate Plus 8 for all those years.

You have to keep in mind though that Jon can only sue TLC after TLC is done suing his ass. His claims are that the contracts that he signed with TLC are too restrictive and prevent him from working. Also, he is claiming that when he signed the contract, he did not have proper legal representation. At the end of the day, Jon wants a cool $5 mil and will probably get a fraction of it. I hope he gets a fraction of it. That way he can be on the prowl in NYC for tail. And when Jon hunts for tail and scores, that tail gets a sex tape leaked or past bikini pictures leaked or something leaked. That is what I love about this business.

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Links that have a good defense as well as a good offense

Noclas Cage is great with money- IDLYITW

Kathy Griffin talks tabloids w/ Jay Leno- Geno’s World

Another excuse for celebrities to dress up and look stupid- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Almost a Kristin Cavallari nipple slip- Drunken Stepfather

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a striper but you won’t see her nippy no nos- yeeeah

Robert Pattinson is a dirty bum- notorious news

Britney Spears’ flabby bikini ass- IDLYITW

Eva Green is naked in Tatle magazine- Fatback Media (NSFW)