I am not sure why Katy Perry has the name Rusty stamped on her ass. I mean I understand that she is dating Russel Brand and the short name for Russel is Rusty but I still don’t see why she needs to announce that to the world. I am still confused on why she wants to date that psychopath ( a very funny psychopath) instead of finding a real guy.

Maybe this is a way of marking his territory for other potential mates. He probably said, “Hey baby. Mind if you put my name on your ass so other dudes won’t try to fuck you in it?” And she said, ” Whatever baby. As long as you give it to me long and hard every night until I start bleeding.” Yea, the conversation probably went something like that. I should become a psychic.

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Links that have their boyfriend’s name TATTOOED on their ass

It must be a lot of work dating Megan Fox- IDLYITW

Taylor Swift is banging this dude- Geno’s World

Sharon Osbourne correctly calls Susan Boyle ugly as fuck- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Chloe Sevigny is in some mom pants- Drunken Stepfather

Rachel Bilson in Flaunt magazine- yeeeah

K-Fed might be a daddy again- notorious news

Miranda Kerr needs a hug- IDLYITW

Eva Wyrwal is topless,bottomless- Fatback Media (NSFW)

A lot of people are talking about how Josh Duhamel has been cheating on Fergie with a stripper and people are speculating that they will break up. If you have ever seen Fergie’s face then you can not really blame him for wanting to cheat. Fergie has a great body and everything but she is a total butter face.

Now the stripper is getting a lawyer because she wants to sue Duhamel or something but the lawyer she hired is claiming that Josh kept waking her up in the middle of the night for more sex. That is the first party foul right there. When you have a stripper to yourself for the night you do not let her sleep. You keep her awake throughout the night to anally rape make love to her. Even if your pecker is not on board and all it wants to do is rest, then pour hot wax on her tits or massage her back with lubricant or some shit. Falling asleep is the last thing a prostitute/stripper should be doing. Josh Duhamel has a lot to learn about the bachelor life.

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Kristen Stewart was prodded for like the 18 millionth time about if she is or isn’t having an off stage romance with her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson. I am personally hoping that those two keep their greasy selves to themselves because I would probably gag if I saw Kristen making out with a “regular”, “clean” guy.

I would make the joke that they are swapping STDs but let’s face it, these two filthy greaseballs have not slept with anyone other than each other. She was half joking when she was asked and said, “We are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.” This would actually be good news for me. Cause then she could hook up with a relatively good looking and normal lesbian and they wouldn’t need and lubricant to get the job done. Kristen could just run her fingers through her oily hair and the other, lesser, unknowing lesbian would just think she has some new cool oil dispensing weave. Watching the two of them have sex would be like throwing a pint of motor oil into a bucket of water and watching all the pretty waves pollute the purity.

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Britney Spears has the worst tits in Hollywood- IDLYITW

Lisa Marie Presley is selling our love pad- Allie Is Wired

Chantelle Houghton is like a big titted Paris Hilton- Drunken Stepfather

Lindsay Lohan goes off on Michael Lohan- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

LiLo’s parents are exploitive, trying to help- notorious news

Pictures of Kim Kardashian at that celebrity boxing thing- IDLYITW

Jessica Alba’s tight little tushy- Fatback Media (NSFW)

Star magazine is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow’s husband Chris Marton making out with Kate Bosworth on not just one but two seperate ocassions. I believe the story because even though Gwyneth Paltrow is kinda hot I could totally see her hubby getting bored with the same piece of tail all the time.

Anyway, now the reps for Bosworth,Paltrow and Martin are all saying that the story is totally bogus and are seeking legal action against Star. It is still a pretty funny story though and if it was true then I could totally understand why he cheated. In the meantime Kate Bosworth has to go sulk in the corner and bitch about how no one wants to kiss her. I would kiss her but I am too busy making out with Paris Hilton right now. Ease up baby I am trying to type. I can’t see the screen when you are trying to kjASNDKQJOIJHFDOJISW.

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Links that are busy right now

Jennifer Lopez might have a sex tape- IDLYITW

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Pete Wentz is a pimp- Holy Moly

Brangelina has seen happier times- popbytes

Russell Brand is going to cut his hair. Probably for Katy Perry.- Amy Grindhouse

The Hills recap- IBBB

Maris Miller gets Harley-ly-ly- notorious news

Megan Fox has Maxim outtakes- IDLYITW

Another Shauna Sand sex tape screen shot- Fatback Media (NSFW)

I do not see America’s obsession with Kirstie Alley. maybe there are just a shit load of dudes out there who like big bootys but I find Kirstie Alley extremely ugly. She could weigh half the weight of Nicole Richie and I would still see her as ugly. Anyway, A&E decided that they could make a little bit of cash documenting Kirstie’s life in a reality series. Because we all know how well The Two Coreys went.

Usually when a chick is famous and she throws on a few pounds she gets some media for being a fatass and then they cash in by doing a tabloid story with them losing all of the baby weight. But Kirstie Alley has been like 300 pounds for over a decade. Look Who’s Talking isn’t going to be in anyones dvd player anytime in the near future and if Kirstie was all that good at acting then she would be doing it regardless who what she weighs. America just needs to go ahead and drop the obsession with this chick. I guess it falls under the same logic that the chick doesn’t have to be skinny to give a mean blow job but I will let Kirstie settle that herself the next time I see her in line at McDonalds.

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Yesterday after a little bit of filming for his awesome show 24Kiefer Sutherland and his castmates went to a local bar around 7 a.m. and got crunk. If I were a famous movie star then I would be getting crunk at 7 a.m. too because I would be a movie star and would be able to do whatever the fuck I wanted.

OK so I get drunk now at 7 a.m. but that is because I am hung over from the night before and a need a little bit of the hair of the dog to get my through the day. I can see why the dude would want to spend the whole morning at a bar but why he bought drinks for everyone there and left a $200 tip is beyond me. Couldn’t he just wait a few hours for the strip clubs to open and spend $200 on some slut in a private booth? Kiefer Sutherland on coolness= 10. Kiefer Sutherland on economics=3.

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Some chick whose name I can not pronouce so I will simply refer to her as Mel Gibson’s baby mama gave birth this Friday to a healthy baby girl. They are engaged but there is no set date for the wedding and if memory serves correctly, Mel is not divorced yet and will have to battle it out in court for his share of over $900 million.

The one thing I do know about his soon to be wife is that she is very VERY hot. Of course Mel Gibson was once People’s sexiest man alive so it is no surprise to me that he can land a hot chick. What I do not understand is why you would want to keep having more and more kids. Isn’t one enough. Better yet isn’t a dog enough. Either way you are eating up a shitload of time and money so you may as well get a “man’s best friend” out of it.

Regardless, I do not feel the least bit sorry for this kid. She will grow up as American royalty and will have a healthy inheritance once her dad kicks the bucket. That isn’t too far away so it would behoove her to get on her dads good side now and make sure he remembers her name because if he is too delusional to remember her name for a will entry, she may just be SOL.

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Links that have 10 cats

Heidi Klum sets the standard for awesome Halloween costumes- IDLYITW

Adam Lambert is single. No one cares- Allie Is Wired

Jessica Alba is Dora the explorer- Drunken Stepfather

Lindsay Lohan hears the penis beckon- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Brangelina went trick-or-treating- notorious news

Jennifer Love Hewitt rocks the cleavage for Halloween- IDLYITW

Pink is topless!- Fatback Media (NSFW)

Dakota Fanning is an all American teenage girl. She is 15 and is ahead in the grades for her age and if I am not mistaken will graduate next year. Not only is she the a star in multiple movies and a multi millionaire but apparently the kids at her high school think she is pretty great too.

They elected, or voted, or did whatever the fuck they do to make her the homecoming queen. I think this kind of sucks because when you are known on a first name basis around the country and across the globe for that matter, does she really need MORE attention? Once she hits 18 ( and I am sure there a re a number of websites counting down to that very day) she will have a typical inflated ego that many child stars have.
She will think that all she has to do is audition for a script and the casting directors will be throwing themselves at her feet just to get a chance to work with the ever famous Dakota Fanning. What she is forgetting is that 90% of her scripts cross her path BECAUSE she is a kid and doesn’t care how much she makes or how much screen time she will get.

All I am saying is, enjoy the ride while it lasts Dakota. Oh yea, and maybe do some nude scenes when you are barely legal. You have to plant the seen early folks. Otherwise, she would be lost.

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Jon Gosselin is doing some damage control after speaking to just about every tabloid/talk show on the planet. He is now fighting for at least partial custody of his eight children so he sent out a very long winded rant to Eonline. Basically he says that he got caught up in the fame game and that he shouldn’t have been as vocal as he was.

I will not waste your time posting all the shit he blathered about here, you can just read it in the source link. Even if he does have his head on straight, FINALLY, there is still little chance of Jon and Kate Plus 8coming back on the air because he stands by his statements that his kids should not be subjected to the life of reality tv. Kate will remain broke. And the kids will die of starvation in poverty. Sound like a good ending to you? Me too.

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Halloween links

Adam Lambert breaks record as world’s gayest man- IDLYITW

Sandra Bullock finds an excuse to talk to the media- Geno’s World

Dennis Hopper has prostate cancer- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Kristin Cavallari’s ass looks great in stretchy pants- The Korova Milk Bar

Alessandra Ambrosio is still in a bikini- yeeeah

Taylor Swift is a nazi- notorious news

Megan Fox is evil- IDLYITW

Heidi Klum is chocolatey- Fatback Media (NSFW)

It is being reported now that Nick Jonas, the youngest of The Jonas Brothers is going to release a solo cd. The name of his band is called Nick Jonas and The Administration. OK I have to give him some props cause that is actually a pretty cool name for a band. Well, except for the Nick Jonas part.

I hear that being in a band lands you all types of hot chicks. Unless you are in Nick Jonas’ position where he will keep his penis safely tucked between his legs and proudly sport his “no sex” ring to everyone that he runs into. He could always follow in his eldest brothers footsteps and get married at a ridulously young age just to get laid, but I doubt that will happen because he is still underage and he has a contract with Disney that he will not do anything “controversial”.

With that being said, he are some pictures of Miranda Kerr in a bikini.

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Links that are hiding their boner

Adam Lambert is the faggiest fag in Fag City- IDLYITW

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Ronnie Wood thinks he has fashion sense- Holy Moly

Guess the celebrity tattoo- popbytes

Michelle Obama gets more famous everyday- Amy Grindhouse

The Hills recap- IBBB