This is no surprise. Every year American Idol pulls out all the stops for the two part season finale and brings in former American Idol winners to sing the farewell ballad of the season. It has been that way since forever except for last year when they had a runner-up instead of the winner, Chris Daughtry, who sucks, sing a song called “Home”.

The song Carrie will sing is Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home”. I am not a fan of Underwood, but I am looking forward to her singing the line ” I had to run away high, so I wouldn’t come home low”. I like this cause Carrie doesn’t get high and I find it funny for goody goody’s to sing about drugs and getting high. Maybe she will actually “perform” this year and move around on the stage and actually do some choreography.

Yea, I know, she won’t. But I can hope for a skanky outfit can’t I? Yea, I know, she won’t. In fact the only reason I will tune into American Idol at all this year is to see one person’s dreams get crushed and see another wanna-be celeb try to make it in the music world. I am sure after Adam Lambert wins this season he will finally come out of the closet and parents worldwide will ban their kids from listening to his music. I won’t be listening either, not cause he is gay, I like gay people, it is because he sucks and he doesn’t have the balls to say “yea, I’m a homo”.

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Links that have already won

Parade of whores- IDLYITW

Hayden Panettiere and her cute little butt- Drunken Stepfather

Megan Fox is bi, then she’s straight, then she’s bi, then she’s straight- Amy Grindhouse

Are more kids on the way for TomKat?- Allie Is Wired

Jessica Biel is one tough bitch- I Don’t Want Your Life

Jennifer Hudson needs to lose some weight- yeeeah

John Mayer is smooth- IDLYITW

Angelina Jolie likes In Touch Weekly magazine- Celeb News Wire

Check out Jennifer Lopez in The Back-Up Plan - Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Kerry Katona is drug free- Holy Moly

Behind the scenes of Katy Perry’s kickass new music video “Waking up in Vegas”- Geno’s World

Tori Amos’ Sinful Attraction tour- popbytes

Brooke Sheilds has curves. And wrinkles. Yea mostly wrinkles- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

TomKat will have in vitro- notorious news

Last night something happened that I could care less about. Yes it was the 44th Annual Academy Music Awards. I didn’t watch it, but it was basically a bunch of hicks bitching about their hound dog getting run over by a pick em’ up truck and then they all cried and got drunk. Of course there was one highlight to the show. You got to see Carrie Underwood. Even though her songs suck, she is the ultimate eye candy. Taylor Swift was there, but she is not an attention whore so I didn’t see any pics of her.

It was actually a pretty big night for Carrie. She is the first woman to win ACM entertainer of the year since 2001. Most people, when winning an honorable award they usually thank God or their parents or some bullshit like that. But Carrie didn’t. Instead she said, “I don’t know what to say! I got nothing. Mike,baby, I wish you were here!” The Mike she is referring to is some hockey player that will dump her redneck ass as soon as he gets to tap that shit. More pics of Carrie Underwood being ungrateful below.

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Carrie Underwood is a rebel. She doesn’t like mainstream music or pop culture in general. She thinks because she has a perfect body and a gorgeous face that she can have say anything she wants and not get called out on it. Well she has won me over sexually. It doesn’t take much. But then she tries to get all serious and tries to relay a message to the American people. In an interview with TV Guide she tells of her distaste for celebrities who endorse politicians publicly.

She tells TV Guide, “I lose all respect for celebrities when they back a candidate. It’s saying that the American public isn’t smart enough to make their own decisions.” You know who I do not think is smart Carrie? You. You get on your soap box with your bleached blond hair and Game Boy DS and…and… look at that face. How can I stay mad at you. Yes we still have time for a nooner.

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This is country beauty Carrie Underwood in a bikini at a beach. Things are slow so that means it’s time for Southern Hottie of The Day (SHOTD) here at Fatback Media. Some people have complained that this site has devolved into nothing but chicks in bikinis and fluff. Well sir, if God didn’t want half naked chicks on the internet then why did he invent the Porn Premium Gold Pass? Plus, all the girls are fully naked in our  NSFW section. So you really have the best of both worlds. Hot chicks with clothes, or hot chicks without. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

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The American Idol finale was last night and like you, I was glued to my set. OMG can you believe David won? Hahahaha. Not really, dumbass. See you thought we were going to be friends just now. And we could IM about what Syesha wore last week and which David was going to win and we’d giggle and LOL. And you’d tell me about that time in middle school when you did something inappropriate with your My Little Pony because you had strange feelings. And then afterward, it was awkward and it just felt weird to have My Little Pony hanging out with the rest of your dolls, because you know, now she was damaged goods and Malibu Barbie called her a whore and you know what bitch she can be.

David Cook wins! Hurray for America!

By now you’ve probably heard about the latest former American Idol contestant to embarrass her family and generally act like a drunken piece of trash, Jessica Sierra. It seems that ole’ Jess got herself into a bit of trouble on Saturday night when she got into a bar fight in Tampa and was found to have some Bolivian marching powder in her purse. She was reportedly abusive to the arresting officers after she threw a cocktail glass at a fellow booze hound.

It appears that since she was kicked off of Idol, Jessica Sierra (porno name, anyone?) has tried to get a record contact and has been WORKING AT HOOTERS. Let’s see: cocaine, alcohol, trampy name, reality show cast-off, and now my favorite delightfully tacky, yet unrefined restaurant. This girl’s life reads like a Mad Libs of American white trash. To complete the sweep, she might as well release a sex tape that was filmed in her single-wide where she smokes Kools and chugs Boone’s Farm straight from the bottle. God bless Tampa, home of 94% of America’s whores, and God bless Jessica Sierra and the plate of curly fries and wings she is currently serving to a trucker.

While I wouldn’t fuck Jessica Sierra with Kelly Clarkson’s dick, I do have a soft spot for the lovely Ms. Carrie Underwood. Something tells me that Carrie’s never donned orange hot pants and a tank top. [Ed. note: Shooter, I just know she has. If there is a a god in heaven...]

The Good

Gretchen Wilson is simple but damn hot. Redneck women unite!

The Bad

Is it feathers? Is it hair? It’s Laura Birna and it’s wrong.

The Ugly

Bombshell? Kind of a misnomer, huh? Is that a combover? I am so lost.

The Smokin Hot

Carrie Underwood could be dressed in a laundry basket with silly string in her hair and she’d still be the most adorable thing this side of Canada. Actually, that’d probably make her even cuter.

The Owned

Here’s Faith Hill, ever the gracious country lady, taking the news that she just lost out to an American Idol contestant.

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