Fatback Media

Ok. I’m back. I have half a liver, a 10,000 EURO hotel bill and a warrant for my arrest in three EU countries. Also, remarkably, I’m still drunk. Here’s Britney Spears in her new video looking strangely hot. I thought that these were circa 2001 when I saw them but it turns out that Britney knows a sorcerer and has transformed from all busted up to damn I’d like to hit that. I’d probably still be mean to her afterward though, because she has had some hard times and hit rock bottom. People don’t forget…

Labor Day was so awesome that my server got drunk and posted a link post from last god damn week. Sweet. Also, I went a themed wedding in New England where we had to wear costumes and get drunker than a Kennedy during prohibition. I sure hope they find the dead chick in the water. People don’t forget. Anyway. I fixed the link post from the ghost of server’s past with some serviceable pics of Britney Spears in Vegas at a topless pool looking super F’able. I would tear that shit up like a raccoon in a garbage can. Just sayin’. I have a thing for busted up chicks with low self esteem.

• Heidi’s New Video, Now Cameltoe Free!: Celebrity Gossip With a Light Beer Aftertaste
• August 25th, 2008 - Happy Birthday Blake Lively! | Allie Is Wired
• cityrag: Olympic Cheerleaders? No Way!
• Whitney Port @ US Open Kick-Off Party | The Bastardly
• take a deep breath, heidi montag is queefin’ that kinda vibe
• Nina Moric in a Thong on the Beach of the Day
• Sophie Monk Spells Vegetarian “K-F-C” at Deceiver.com
• Beach Volleyball Gets All Wet
• 11 Valkyrie Extras threaten to sue Tom Cruise’s United Artists for $11 million
• Jess To Carrie: “My Man Ain’t Callin’ You, Bitch”

So obviously the autolinker broke last night so you only get 2 links. One of them may involve a Britney Spears sex tape with Tony Shaloub from TV’s Monk. Maybe it was Adnan something. What am I, Walter Cronkite?

• Britney Spears Sex Tape at Yeeeah!
• Formerly Skinny, Now Plus-Sized Model Wins ANTM at Deceiver.com

Britney Spears surprised gym goers at a hotel spa in in Marina del Rey in California this week by working out super-hard and really pushing it on those last few sets. Except change the working out part to wheezing uncontrollably and the pushing it part to just walking around in nothing but a towel.

[It] appears the star’s judgement may still be somewhat askew, as after her shower in the spa at a hotel, she wandered out to the gym in just a towel, giving gym-goers an eyeful as she helped herself to some cold water. (Daily Mail)

I’m glad to see she’s back in the gym, and too her credit, I don’t see Cheetoe sand on her anywhere, but the world is not ready for the backfat and canckles Britney. That’s why Wal-Mart invented baggy sweatsuits. So get back in there with all the fat soccer mom’s who’ve disappointed their husbands and the Lord God, put on your sweats and try to at least attempt to look like a 26 year old who has enough money to afford a personal trainer. Guh. Remember when Britney Spears nude spawned internet empires?

Britney Spears is threatening to release the crazy-wack-funky video diaries she made over the past year. I like the way she’s threatening and not planning. I think a lot of people use planning when they really mean threatening. To wit:

1. I am panning to have this baby, you bastard
2. I am planning to have sex with that girl over there later
3. Were you planning to come over, I’m sleepy. No, there is no one here, why?
4. etc

If you’re wondering why I put that old picture of Britney up, it’s because I liked her better when she was just coming into her white trash. Plan to check out these links:

• ASHLEE PREGNANT!!!!! Celebrity Dirt with Jackson Blue
• Pop Quiz: George Clooney | Circus Hour
• Free Playboy Girls Photos and Galleries
• Smart People Film Review | Pajiba
• Ashlee Simpson Not Pregnant? at Yeeeah!
• Tom trying to push Posh out of Katie’s life | Cele|bitchy
• Freudian Slip - Webster’s Is My Bitch
• Sexy Cam | Gabsmash
• cityrag: Britney Spears Drinking and Driving
• Britney Spears Video Diaries To Be Released at Yeeeah!
• Jenna Fischer Gets Naked For Wired Magazine : BigPlansBigCrash