Hey y’all!  It’s Britney! LOL! UH. Muh. Gawd. So anywayz, Child Protective Services totally came to the house today, and y’all, they were kinda rude. I mean, I was all,” can you watch the babies while I go get a Starbucks and a pack of Newports?” And they was all,  “No!” I’m like, ” ain’t y’all s’posed ta protect my youngins while I’m gawn and stuff? I mean y’all are Child Protective Services…soooooooooooo. Eeenywayz, Radar online said this:

A Spears family insider tells RadarOnline.com, “Social workers visited Britney’s house recently about the alleged abuse allegations. Under California law, anytime anyone makes a report to child protective services, a welfare check is required to be made under law to further investigate. (via)

Did she say Welfare check? I mean, I’m still rich y’all, but Palimony is a bitch, for realz.

Britney Spears is under a conservatorship and can only spend $500 a week authorized by her daddy but she still does shit like she has millions to blow on whatever she wants. Yesterday she test drove a Maserati. Well, she didn’t drive it, someone else did and she chilled in the passenger seat and gabbed on her cell phone.

In fact, she can not by law buy the car without the judges consent. So I doubt this will be her new toy. Her ex K-Fed has a better chance of buying a Maserati than she does.

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Britney Spears conservatorship has been going on for over two years now and the judge wants some one on one time with Britney to make sure she understands everything and isn’t a dumbshit. Just to remind everyone, the conservatorship gives Britney $1,500 a week to spend on whatever she likes and her father makes nearly $2,000 a week to make sure things go smoothly financially for Britney and K-Fed gets a fat $22k alimony check.

I am thinking if Britney can go in there and convince the judge that she is stable and won’t go crazy again then the judge will let her retain the use of all her finances again. Also, if Britney regains control of her finances… she will go crazy again. I am not sure who I am rooting for her so I will just point and laugh at Britney’s misfortune. ::points,laughs::

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Britney Spears star has faded out and her music really sucks these days. I guess to compensate for her lack of talent she dyed her hair brunette again in an attempt to look…like something I can not think of right now. This may be her way of communicating that she hates being under a conservatorship but I am not sure.

Oh yea, let’s not forget the conservatorship. That shit still cracks me up. She is so pathetic she can not even control her own money. And let’s face it, she will never get control of it again, or full custody for that matter. Britney was a star in the early 2000′s but since then she has gone no where but downhill. I just wish her child support payments to K-Fed were a little fatter because the only success in their relationship is the success of K-Fed gouging Britney for every dime she has.

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Links that have control over their own money

I need more of Kim Cloutier- IDLYITW

Kourtney Kardashian shows off her new baby boy- Geno’s World

Susan Boyle has no business in Japan- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Candice Swanepoel is in a bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Sofia Vergara is on a boat- yeeeah

Michael Lohan is a vagina kicker- notorious news

Coco is the cellulite queen- IDLYITW

Lily Allen is topless,smoking- Fatback Media (NSFW)

I have to say, I don’t see a lot of Britney Spears anymore. She is off doing her Circus tour and she hardly ever surfaces. Just recently she was chilling with who I am guessing is her agent, or whatever, that she is rumored to be dating. I am also glad that when she did surface she is in a bikini.

Not all people look good in a bikini and Britney Spears is one of those people or at least she used to be. In the past 6 months she looks KILLER in a bikini. That’s all I got. Enjoy.

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Links that wear black to look slim

Whitney Houstan has a wardrobe malfunction- IDLYITW

Michael Lohan to detox Lindsay himself?- Allie Is Wired

Amanda Seyfried is stuffing her face- Drunken Stepfather

Nicole Richie might be married- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Marge Simpson is naked- notorious news

What the hell?- IDLYITW

Kelley Thompson is Miss November!- Fatback Media (NSFW)

The Circus tour is almost over but Britney just wanted to solidify the fact that she will get to see her kids just about as often as she likes. An L.A. county superior court granted Britney 50/50 custody of her kids until at least the end of this year. TMZ also confirmed that K-Fed is still raking in that $20,000 a month and confirmed something I never heard of before. He is getting $25,000 a month when his kids are outside of California.

I guess the judge granted that because he might need a first class airplane trip to where ever his kids are. And you can’t fly first class with out a bottle of dom. And you can’t travel to some distant strange state without staying at the Hilton. And you can’t just rent any car to go see your kids. You need to rent a Bentley. You see? K-Fed is just trying to survive in a mixed up crazy world. And people call him a gold digger. For shame.

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Links that are just scraping by

Glee is one of the gayest shows on television- IDLYITW

The Quaids are famous again all of a sudden- Geno’s World

Dita Von Teese wears a bra- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Lauren Bosworth interview- I Don’t Want Your Life

Amanda Seyfried is in GQ- yeeeah

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are about to announce their relationship- notorious news

Mackenzie Phillips banged her dad for 10 years- IDLYITW

There are rumors floating around that Britney Spears might be engaged. To her talent agent I think. A guy named Jason but I don’t follow Britney’s life close enough to know who this Jason person is. She was photographed wearing a ring on her engagement finger while out shopping the other day and people are starting to speculate.

I don’t exactly know what to say in this situation. Usually when a chick gets engaged I think to myself if I were the guy, would I want to marry her? And in this situation I would say YES! First of all you get access to almost an unlimited amount of money. Secondly you get to bang a pretty hot Britney Spears, we all saw those bikini pics from the other day. And thirdly she always puts her kids on the sideline so you wouldn’t have to worry about being a real dad. That is K-Fed’s job. So in this situation my ruling is yes. Yes I would marry Britney Spears.

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Britney Spears is a busy woman and can not be bothered to correct her kids when they say bad words. While she was at a L.A. swag suite (whatever the fuck that is,) last week her kids were heard screaming “Oh shit!” I grew up in a household that if we were caught using 4 letter words we were grounded for a week.

I am willing to bet that if Britney’s kids were heard swearing, they would be grounded from their cell phone. And yes, they do have cellphones at 2 and 3 because Britney is rich. They’re also told they can only get 2 desserts at the restaurant instead of 3. Basically it just shows that Britney has no control over her kids whatsoever. Kind of like how she doesn’t have any control over her money. Maybe Britney’s dad can show the kids proper grammar.

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Links that cuss like a sailor

It is confirmed what we already believed- IDLYITW

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Kelly Osbourne gets her own reality show- Holy Moly

Sarah Palin is getting a divorce! Doubtful- popbytes

Christina Ricci is slammin’- Amy Grindhouse

Megan Fox has outtakes- IDLYITW

Britney Spears is still a tool to her daddy’s conservatorship over her life. But she is a clever girl. If she wants to get high, she gets high. That is why she has been having her assistant buy diet pills for her so not only does she get a pick me up from that, but she stays in shape as well. Smart. She is also washing those diet pills down with red bull which apparently turns you into a caffeine zombie.

But alas, her father got wind of this little operation and put it to a stop right away. Even K-Fed got involved and tried to talk some sense into her and she flipped out on him and he told the Spears’ camp that she is reverting to her old ways again. I say go for it. I like caffeine like just about every other person in this world and I LOVED the “old” Britney. She was fun and crazy and it took headlines away from shit like Michael Jackson and Jon and Kate Gosselin. This is the tabloid injection this world needs right now. I am gonna get backstage tickets to one of her shows and give her some chocolate covered espresso beans and a 4 pack of the new red bull cola. I will have a better show backstage than I ever did at a concert.

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This guy turned down Megan Fox. Gay! – IDLYITW

Julianne Hough is cute- Geno’s World

I want to bang Allessandra Torresani- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Holly Madison+boobs=boner – I Don’t Want Your Life

K-Fed is chubby- yeeeah

More info on LiLo getting sued- IDLYITW

Ugh! There are not a lot of stories out there that actually make me puke up my breakfast, but this one takes the cake. Britney Spears has a lot of wardrobe changes in her life both on stage and off. In her most recent wardrobe change, she put on some clothes for an Elle magazine shoot and ruined the wardrobe. How you ask? Here’s the quote, “They dressed her in all of these beautiful couture clothes- and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.”

Saying that it wasn’t pretty is an understatement. It is kind of bizarre that the most beautiful lusted after thing in the world is also the most gross and disgusting and foul thing in the world depending on what time of the month it was. While Britney bathes in her own cunt juice, ::gags::, I am sure the people at Elle were pissed that they not only had to ditch the clothes she ruined, they also had to use jet fuel to burn the clothes to an unrecognizable crisp. Trust me, you don’t want some poor dumpster diver finding them in the trash and getting an irreversible flesh eating disease that is highly contagious.

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