I have to say, I don’t see a lot of Britney Spears anymore. She is off doing her Circus tour and she hardly ever surfaces. Just recently she was chilling with who I am guessing is her agent, or whatever, that she is rumored to be dating. I am also glad that when she did surface she is in a bikini.

Not all people look good in a bikini and Britney Spears is one of those people or at least she used to be. In the past 6 months she looks KILLER in a bikini. That’s all I got. Enjoy.

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Links that wear black to look slim

Whitney Houstan has a wardrobe malfunction- IDLYITW

Michael Lohan to detox Lindsay himself?- Allie Is Wired

Amanda Seyfried is stuffing her face- Drunken Stepfather

Nicole Richie might be married- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Marge Simpson is naked- notorious news

What the hell?- IDLYITW

Kelley Thompson is Miss November!- Fatback Media (NSFW)

The Circus tour is almost over but Britney just wanted to solidify the fact that she will get to see her kids just about as often as she likes. An L.A. county superior court granted Britney 50/50 custody of her kids until at least the end of this year. TMZ also confirmed that K-Fed is still raking in that $20,000 a month and confirmed something I never heard of before. He is getting $25,000 a month when his kids are outside of California.

I guess the judge granted that because he might need a first class airplane trip to where ever his kids are. And you can’t fly first class with out a bottle of dom. And you can’t travel to some distant strange state without staying at the Hilton. And you can’t just rent any car to go see your kids. You need to rent a Bentley. You see? K-Fed is just trying to survive in a mixed up crazy world. And people call him a gold digger. For shame.

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Links that are just scraping by

Glee is one of the gayest shows on television- IDLYITW

The Quaids are famous again all of a sudden- Geno’s World

Dita Von Teese wears a bra- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Lauren Bosworth interview- I Don’t Want Your Life

Amanda Seyfried is in GQ- yeeeah

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are about to announce their relationship- notorious news

Mackenzie Phillips banged her dad for 10 years- IDLYITW

There are rumors floating around that Britney Spears might be engaged. To her talent agent I think. A guy named Jason but I don’t follow Britney’s life close enough to know who this Jason person is. She was photographed wearing a ring on her engagement finger while out shopping the other day and people are starting to speculate.

I don’t exactly know what to say in this situation. Usually when a chick gets engaged I think to myself if I were the guy, would I want to marry her? And in this situation I would say YES! First of all you get access to almost an unlimited amount of money. Secondly you get to bang a pretty hot Britney Spears, we all saw those bikini pics from the other day. And thirdly she always puts her kids on the sideline so you wouldn’t have to worry about being a real dad. That is K-Fed’s job. So in this situation my ruling is yes. Yes I would marry Britney Spears.

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Britney Spears is a busy woman and can not be bothered to correct her kids when they say bad words. While she was at a L.A. swag suite (whatever the fuck that is,) last week her kids were heard screaming “Oh shit!” I grew up in a household that if we were caught using 4 letter words we were grounded for a week.

I am willing to bet that if Britney’s kids were heard swearing, they would be grounded from their cell phone. And yes, they do have cellphones at 2 and 3 because Britney is rich. They’re also told they can only get 2 desserts at the restaurant instead of 3. Basically it just shows that Britney has no control over her kids whatsoever. Kind of like how she doesn’t have any control over her money. Maybe Britney’s dad can show the kids proper grammar.

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Links that cuss like a sailor

It is confirmed what we already believed- IDLYITW

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Kelly Osbourne gets her own reality show- Holy Moly

Sarah Palin is getting a divorce! Doubtful- popbytes

Christina Ricci is slammin’- Amy Grindhouse

Megan Fox has outtakes- IDLYITW

Britney Spears is still a tool to her daddy’s conservatorship over her life. But she is a clever girl. If she wants to get high, she gets high. That is why she has been having her assistant buy diet pills for her so not only does she get a pick me up from that, but she stays in shape as well. Smart. She is also washing those diet pills down with red bull which apparently turns you into a caffeine zombie.

But alas, her father got wind of this little operation and put it to a stop right away. Even K-Fed got involved and tried to talk some sense into her and she flipped out on him and he told the Spears’ camp that she is reverting to her old ways again. I say go for it. I like caffeine like just about every other person in this world and I LOVED the “old” Britney. She was fun and crazy and it took headlines away from shit like Michael Jackson and Jon and Kate Gosselin. This is the tabloid injection this world needs right now. I am gonna get backstage tickets to one of her shows and give her some chocolate covered espresso beans and a 4 pack of the new red bull cola. I will have a better show backstage than I ever did at a concert.

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This guy turned down Megan Fox. Gay! – IDLYITW

Julianne Hough is cute- Geno’s World

I want to bang Allessandra Torresani- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Holly Madison+boobs=boner – I Don’t Want Your Life

K-Fed is chubby- yeeeah

More info on LiLo getting sued- IDLYITW

Ugh! There are not a lot of stories out there that actually make me puke up my breakfast, but this one takes the cake. Britney Spears has a lot of wardrobe changes in her life both on stage and off. In her most recent wardrobe change, she put on some clothes for an Elle magazine shoot and ruined the wardrobe. How you ask? Here’s the quote, “They dressed her in all of these beautiful couture clothes- and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.”

Saying that it wasn’t pretty is an understatement. It is kind of bizarre that the most beautiful lusted after thing in the world is also the most gross and disgusting and foul thing in the world depending on what time of the month it was. While Britney bathes in her own cunt juice, ::gags::, I am sure the people at Elle were pissed that they not only had to ditch the clothes she ruined, they also had to use jet fuel to burn the clothes to an unrecognizable crisp. Trust me, you don’t want some poor dumpster diver finding them in the trash and getting an irreversible flesh eating disease that is highly contagious.

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Thursday morning a woman was arrested on the property of Britney Spears’ California home. She was arrested wearing full camouflage and sporting a camera. I don’t know what she was doing there as Britney wasn’t home. What is really spectacular about this whole situation is that someone actually cares enough about Britney Spears to actually stalk her.

And it doesn’t end there, she was actually an American Idol season 5 contestant who auditioned with Britney Spears’ Everytime.Afterwards Britney didn’t miss a beat and went on to perform at one of her concerts. Her two boys watched the sexually charged show but apparently they were taken away before Britney started dry humped a stripper pole. Some day they will know the truth. The truth that Britney is an attention whoring skank that has practically no sanity. When that day comes I will befriend the two sons so I can get a cut of the cash when Britney dies from a cheetos overdose and gives all of her money to her two sons.

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Links that creep darkly in the night

I can see Lady GaGa’s…black tape?- IDLYITW

Susan Boyle is the ugliest singer in the world- Amy Grindhouse

Amy Winehouse wants to write a childrens book. No I am not kidding. – Celeb News Wire

MSNBC talks teabagging- yeeeah

Ali Lohan has herpees- Allie Is Wired

Hayden Panettiere is cute- I Don’t Want Your Life

Dina Lohan is brilliant- IDLYITW

Pink is in her bra- Drunken Stepfather

Guess the breast! I already know the answer- Holy Moly

Audrina Patridge has a hot sister- IBBB

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Lauren Hildebrandt interview- Geno’s World

Drew Barrymore looks good- popbytes

The embodiment of wrinkles- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Suri Cruise turns 3! – notorious news

Britney Spears isn’t much of a performer. And when she storms off the stage in the middle of a concert, it doesn’t do anything for her reputation. Last night during a show at GM Place in Vancouver in mid song she left the stage and then a woman came on the stage to tell the crowd why and what they could do to help the show go on. She said,” The building is awfully smokey. It is uncomfortable for everyone on stage, including Ms.Spears. Please extinguish all cigarettes – this is a non-smoking building, and the show will resume when the smoke on the stage is cleared.”

Britney can not stand there and tell me in all her years of performing on stage that this show was unique to cigarette smoke. When I go to concerts, I could care less if the venue is non-smoking, I light up regardless. So Britney had her little break down and was immediately redeemed by a little old lady. After the show continued she told the crowd, ” Vancouver, don’t smoke weed.” What the fuck? Is weed to blame for the Britney break down? I guess people were getting high in the audience but who the fuck smokes weed at a Britney Spears concert? And for that matter, who the fuck goes to a Britney Spears concert? The world confuses me sometimes.

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The most hysterical thing happening in the tabloids these days is probably the ongoing conservatorship of Britney Spears by her father Jamie. She is comparing her conservatorship like being in prison. So she took action. He called Sam Lutfi’s little sister and had her bring Britney a pre paid cell phone so she could make independent phone calls, that is right her father is managing her phone calls, and she planned on hiring a lawyer to break the conservatorship.

She is claiming that her father is blackmailing her with visitation to her kids. As long as she plays by the rules, she can see them whenever she wants. However, in the story there actually is an idea of when the conservatorship will end. When she proves to the court, with doctors professional opinion, that she can handle her own affairs only then will the conservatorship end. However she can not be bothered by things like court dates and visitations when she is busy doing a lip syncing tour of the United States right now. So for the time being we can all enjoy in yet another collective laugh and point at Britney Spears. ::laughs:: ::points::

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Most people know me as the guy who gives tons of props to K-Fed for being the best gold digger ever. I also celebrate the fact that that dude hasn’t had a job in like 6 years. Dude lives off alimony and will continue to do so until he dies. But this story isn’t about the gold digger abilities of K-Fed. It is about how Britney Spears dumped a total of $2.7 million getting rid of him and getting herself the mental help she so desperately needed.

So $2.7 million for everything but $417,000 of that was getting K-Fed out of her life to some degree and getting custody of her kids. Which didn’t go so well at the beginning if you don’t remember. If she didn’t act like a spaz and hired a cheaper law firm she could have gotten her kids back twice as fast with half as much money, but she did things that crazy way. Or should I say the Spears way. Maybe that can become a catch phrase. When people think something is happening that is crazy they can call it Spears. You destroyed my car for an April fools joke? You’re so Spears. Yea she slaughtered a cat in her front yard and got sent to the mental hospital. That bitch is Spears. You see? It makes sense doesn’t it?

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